2606: Summer Quality Time with Your Kids AND Finding Your Summer Routine by Julie Morgenstern on Advice for Parents

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this yoga nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:24] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Summer Quality Time with Your Kids by Julie Morgenstern of JulieMorganstern.com School's out for summer, and you know what that means for kids and parents everywhere. Lots of family time, later than usual bedtimes, and for working parents especially, a mad scramble to cobble together a week-to-week schedule that keeps the kids engaged and safe.

[00:00:50] I've heard all the stories. The 13-year-old who tells her mom she's bored seven hours into summer break. The camp schedule that feels like a high-stakes game of Tetris. The elementary school kid who signed up for so many activities he's got no time to just relax. The key to a great summer is to maintain some semblance of a routine, but also to welcome the pleasure of the season.

[00:01:14] Before I get into nitty-gritty tips, and this goes for working parents doubly, be mindful of how you transition from a season of more intense family time. In other words, don't be finishing up a call while you walk in the door or sneak into the bathroom just to send one quick email four minutes after you got home. Instead, build a few minutes on the way home to wrap up from the day's work and get into the right mindset to ensure that your first encounters with your kids and your spouse communicates this message.

[00:01:44] I'm happy to see you, and I am happy to be here. Here are a few ideas of how to find the right rhythm for your family this summer. Convert homework time to family time. Apart from summer reading, most kids are blissfully without homework all summer long. For three whole months, you don't have to ask, did you do your homework? But instead of frittering away that time to play video games or TV, stake a claim on an hour or two each evening as family time.

[00:02:12] Get your kids in on the plan by letting them choose the family's activities. Maybe Monday nights are for walks around the neighborhood. Tuesday nights, you have a family UNO tournament. Wednesdays, you read a book or listen to a podcast together, and so on. Don't lose your routine entirely. The season with no school, no homework, and limited activities can be a way to recharge. It can also be completely disorienting for kids to go from structured days to a free-for-all.

[00:02:40] Keep some of our regular routine in place, like standard wake-up and bedtimes, meal times, and if you have younger kids, some quiet time in the late afternoon. Regular chores like making the bed, clearing the table, and unloading the dishes shouldn't go away just because school's out for summer. Summer can have a slower, lazier feel, but it shouldn't be routine-free. It'll also make getting back into the regular swing in the fall an easier transition. Build-in downtime.

[00:03:10] In some parts of the country, I'm looking at you, New England, summer represents the only time of year when it's warm enough and light enough to spend hours a day outdoors. As a result, some families over-schedule activities. First, we're going to the beach. Then we're hosting a cookout. Then we're walking to get ice cream. Then we're hosting our fireworks display. A few days of that pace can be fun. A summer of it will leave you feeling depleted. Attempting to book fun into every available hour will wind up no fun at all.

[00:03:40] Plan family time beyond vacation. Lots of families will vacation together this summer. But why not also plan a few special outings closer to home? Maybe there's a summer movie night in your area, or an outdoor concert, or a local festival that can break your family out of ho-hum. Seek out those opportunities. Decide as a family what sounds fun, then get it on your calendar. Finding your summer routine.

[00:04:09] Also, by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com By early June, kids are excited for the last day of school. And parents, eager as they are for a break from the daily grind, are thinking, what the heck are we going to do for the next three months? Every parent lives in fear of hearing their kids say those two little words, I'm bored. Summer is the season for a break in our normal routines. It's a good thing.

[00:04:35] But it can also be anxiety-provoking, as the things parents typically anchor the family calendar around, school and kids' extracurricular activities, are conspicuously absent. You don't have to be lost, untethered. You just have to find the routines that jive with a more laid-back season. Here's how. Number one. Anchor the day around five transitions. There are five common touch points that exist, whether school is in session or not. Waking up. Getting out the door.

[00:05:05] Afternoon. Dinner. And bedtime. These five moments anchor your child's day in every season. If you have a routine for these, you'll never feel too out of control. Number two. Think about Saturdays and Sundays as seven blocks of time. Friday night, then Saturday and Sunday mornings, afternoons and evenings. Think about how you want to spend each block ahead of time, whether it's the fun stuff, beach day, barbecue, pancake breakfast, or obligatory stuff.

[00:05:35] Grocery shopping. Yard work. It means you won't ever get too behind on the things that always have to get done, regardless of the season. Number three. Automate some fun. Kids and parents can struggle with the lack of built-in interactions with other kids and families, which happen naturally at school. In the summer, create routines and habits that make getting together with friends easy. One idea. Host a Friday night movie night for your neighborhood friends and their kids.

[00:06:03] Your friends anchor their schedule around that given. You get faster at setting up the space, having the right snacks, and selecting the movie, because you get weekly practice. Everyone wins. Number four. Summer is a time to make memories. As kids change and grow, so too do family traditions. What family summer tradition can you establish this year, and how might you be able to adjust it in the coming years? One family I know attends a family reunion during the second weekend in June every year.

[00:06:32] It's on their calendar well in advance, and they look forward to it. Another family vacations outside the U.S. every summer. The mom, Claire, says it's the best way for her kids, aged 14, 11, and 7, to spend quality time together. Another family rents a giant lake house with three other families for one week in July. It's a way for the parents and kids to stay connected, even though they don't live close to each other the rest of the year. Summer should feel different.

[00:06:59] It's nice to take a break from the pace of the school year, but that doesn't mean it should be without routine at all. Pick and choose for your family where structure is paramount and where it's okay to be a little lax. The right mix will keep everyone feeling grounded and connected. You just listened to the posts titled Summer Quality Time with Your Kids and Finding Your Summer Routine, both by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com.

[00:08:00] And we thank Julie for what I feel is not only great content, but very appropriately timed content. It's also crucial to maintain a sense of routine with yourself or your family as a whole. It's more important than ever to listen to Julie's words, develop a fulfilling routine and tailor it to family connectedness and similar simple yet important values. And with that, I am going to go ahead and wrap up today's episode.

[00:08:27] Have a fun and fulfilling weekend, and I will see you right back here with more exciting content where your optimal life awaits.