2620: Royal Wedding, Shloyal Fledding by Mr. Money Mustache on Marriage and Money Advice

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[00:01:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Royal Wedding Schloilfledding by Mr. Money Mustache of MrMoneyMustache.com. It is time for MrMoneyMustache to attack another one of America's most sacred traditions. Marriage. Well, not marriage specifically, but those fantastic and fancy parties we call weddings.

[00:01:24] Now, in case you hadn't figured it out, from an American perspective, I might as well be from another planet. I grew up in a small town in Canada, in a frugal and somewhat bizarre family where love, rather than manufactured products, was the chief currency. We also missed out on any concept of tradition, religion, and even most of polite society's social norms. We are generally a clan of nerds, reading many books and practicing as Spock-like engineers and armchair scientists,

[00:01:54] but not often seen on celeb magazine covers in the grocery store. So, when I came into adult life, I got to learn quite a few new things, just like Starman or the Terminator did when they first came to Earth. I learned, or am still learning, that people love to be made to feel special on their birthday, a tradition I heartily accept. I also learned about some very bizarre traditions, like those practiced by the world's various competing religions,

[00:02:21] and most significantly for this article, what people do when they get married. What I learned is that it is entirely common for you humans to spend months preparing for a wedding, including renting special buildings, hiring various contractors to provide exotic services, buying clothes that will only be used once, inviting guests that are not people you speak with every day or even every month,

[00:02:48] and even trying to create appropriate appearances to various branches of the extended family. Fellow aliens might listen to that paragraph and say, well, yeah, you're talking about the wedding ceremonies of the very rich, right? Like the royal wedding that happened in England this summer. Don't try to understand, old money. They have their own crazy power dynasty thing going. But no, it's more interesting than that.

[00:03:15] Royal weddings started out in the domain of kings and queens, but they've trickled down into the realm of the middle class, such that it is now common for ordinary non-millionaires to spend an average of $24,000 on their weddings as of 2011. As some icing on that wedding cake, I also learned the social norm is for a man to spend two months' salary for the engagement ring, like $10,000 or so, and then immediately after the wedding,

[00:03:45] take off for an international honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort. Some of these brides and grooms are the same people who have borrowed money to pay for their cars, put less than 20% down on their houses, and claim to Mr. Money Mustache that retirement before 65 is impossible. Like the first person to burp after a serious speech, it is time for Mr. Money Mustache to be the first to say it. It is okay to break this tradition.

[00:04:13] These ultra-weddings are so ingrained, surely in part by the efforts of the profitable wedding industry itself, that people think they're having a low-key wedding if they only have 100 guests or only spend $5,000. I'll tell you how to have a wedding. When my wife and I decided we were adults enough to get married, just before age 30, after 10 years of togetherness, we put on our best sandals and walked downtown. We went to the country clerk's office,

[00:04:40] where they record important events like property transactions, births, deaths, and marriages, and we said we wanted to get married. Congratulations, said the nice lady there, and gave us a pretty diploma-like document to fill out with a golden seal in the corner, a marriage license. We filled it out and submitted it. The total cost was $10. One of the paragraphs you have to initial says something like, I hereby agree to have a ceremony to declare this marriage effective.

[00:05:10] So we hiked to the top of a mountain at the edge of Boulder, Colorado, and under a towering arch of rock declared, we are married. Later, we invited all the local friends over for drinks and nicely made food at our house. And the following summer, we repeated the party in Canada for friends and family who happened to live there. The whole experience shines on us as a golden memory, just like the marriage itself. Nobody had any less fun, or got any less married,

[00:05:38] despite the fact that we spent at least 98% less than the average, even though we could have technically afforded to pay for even a rather fancy wedding without borrowing at that point in our lives. In fact, not spending excessive money on a wedding provides a life-changing boost to a new couple's financial situation. Quite a large portion of divorces are caused by financial problems, so it could be reasonably stated that it is far more romantic to have a low-cost wedding.

[00:06:08] So, here's my prescription for marital bliss. Plan your wedding party just like you would plan any other phenomenal bash you would host at your house. That's right, it will be at your house or your parents' house or at a local mountain, forest, or other natural area. Don't allow your friends to bring gifts, just as your friends should not ask for gifts from you when they get married. The photographer will be whichever of your friends has the nicest camera. The caterer will be your parents,

[00:06:36] or a large takeout order from your favorite local restaurant if you can afford it. You can buy beer and wine for everyone, and your heaviest drinking friend or family member can be the unofficial bartender. Make sure everyone has a great time and spend your energy talking and laughing with the people most dear to you, rather than rehearsing elaborate walking patterns and selecting floral arrangements. As you say your vows, Mr. Money Mustache himself will be blessing your union.

[00:07:06] You just listened to the post titled Royal Wedding, Schloyal Fletting by Mr. Money Mustache of MrMoneyMustache.com Hey Sandra, wir haben uns ja lange nicht mehr gesehen. Grüß dich, Nadine. Mensch, du siehst ja toll aus. Ja, danke. Ich hab mein Plus fürs gesündere Ich entdeckt. Was? Komm, ich zeig's dir. Die Bewegungskurse der AOK Plus. Kostenfrei für AOK Plus Versicherte. Entdecke dein Plus fürs gesündere Ich

[00:07:35] und starte mit unserem Self-Check. Ganz einfach online auf aok.de. Aus Liebe zur Gesundheit. AOK Plus. Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I wanna share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast.

[00:08:05] Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily. And Mr. Money Mustache encouraging a frugal yet meaningful approach as always. Thanks so much to him for this post. And while it obviously is a great article for saving money and remembering the true spirit of marriage, to me, it also lays a blueprint that couples can refer to in the face of any decisions they might be making. A relationship is the beginning of a new life, right?

[00:08:34] And like any life, it'll thrive the most when it's given the individual care and attention that it needs. And this post promotes that individuality. It encourages couples when facing either a big or small decision to consider how does this look for us, right? What do we need? What makes the most sense for us? How can this decision reflect what we've built and what we hope to achieve? Being in this mindset of making decisions that support what feels right

[00:09:04] for you and your partner rather than, you know, kind of blindly following the path taken by many others only increases intimacy and it helps you gain a better understanding of your relationship's unique identity and the intangible value of clearly knowing what makes your bond unique and special that really can't be overstated. Okay, everyone, it's time to get going now. I hope you enjoyed this one and see how it can apply regardless of whether or not you've already spelt a trillion dollars on a wedding. We're wrapping up now

[00:09:34] but thanks for coming and be sure to tune in tomorrow where we will start our parenting leg of the week. That's where your optimal life awaits.