2623: Money and Marriage: How We Manage Our Finances by Amanda Kruse with Women Who Money

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[00:00:57] It starts with a swipe. Tinder. This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Money and Marriage. How We Manage Our Finances. By Amanda Kruse of WomenWhoMoney.com Money affects many areas of our lives, including our relationships. And research shows that couples that argue about money are more unhappy and likely to divorce. When I got engaged 25 years ago, I didn't know the stats on money problems in divorce.

[00:01:27] If I had known, I might have been more intentional about how we managed our finances as a couple. But, through trial and error and lots of conversation, we figured it out. Our money management strategies have changed a bit over the years, for the better. And I credit our money discussions and combined financial mission as the secrets to our success. How We Manage Finances As A Couple Deciding to Combine Finances Before we got married, we split the bills.

[00:01:56] It's been a long while since our wedding, so I don't remember our conversations about joint versus separate finances. Yet our mandated premarital counseling is one thing that likely helped us figure it out. At the time, I was not a fan of having to do the marriage prep sessions, but they included direct conversations about money. And they forced us to answer questions about how we planned to use our money for our life goals. We even discussed differences in backgrounds and values.

[00:02:23] Combining finances seemed like the best option for us. So, after getting married, we viewed it as our money. And that's how it's been ever since. Combining finances worked very well for us. But it's not what works best for all couples. Yet having money discussions before committing is a good bet for every couple. How We Did It After we married, we opened a joint checking and savings account. From then on, all the bills got paid out of the joint checking account.

[00:02:50] I clearly remember missing a bill payment shortly after combining finances. We were busy and a bit unorganized. Something was bound to get overlooked. That's when we should have made a monthly bill paying checklist. But it took missing another payment years later for that to happen. Late payments remain on a credit report for up to seven years from the original delinquency date, the date of the missed payment. The late payment remains on your Equifax credit report even if you pay the past due balance.

[00:03:17] At first, our financial lives were pretty simple. We were young and I was still in college. We didn't have a budget as there wasn't much income or expenses. But even back then, we kept tabs on how much money came in and went out and adjusted accordingly. How We Manage Our Money Today Live On One Income Even when we both earn money, we pretend like we only have one income. I can even remember doing this when I had my first full-time job, though we sometimes got derailed.

[00:03:48] That helped us get accustomed to living on less from the start. Check In Often We don't schedule money dates because financial discussions naturally happen around here. But it helps that we're both interested in the finances. Otherwise, we would need to be more intentional about scheduling regular money meetings. Most of our check-ins are casual. We talk about spending, savings, purchases, and investments. And each month, we sit down and take a look at our net worth spreadsheet. Discuss Concerns

[00:04:18] As you might expect, it's not always all rainbows and roses. Sometimes we've struggled. We've had surprise expenses and experienced other financial stress. We even got sued once. And there were times that we didn't see eye to eye. Sometimes we need time to process our concerns. But we circle back to them over and over until we find a solution or common ground. Fortunately, issues don't pop up much anymore since we have so many years of experience. Have Specific Roles

[00:04:48] Both of us have access to all the accounts, bills, and investments. So it's transparent. But we have different roles in our finances. And these roles have shifted over the years as life and our money situation changed. It works well for us to have one person that pays the bills. Otherwise, it gets confusing. But we both track spending through an app and make big decisions as a team. Tools We Use Until I made this list, I didn't realize how much we rely on tools I created.

[00:05:17] I have a system. And the tools keep it simple and easy for us. A few of these tools imply I'm stuck in the stone age since a couple of them rely on paper and pen. Most people would use technology. And I did so for a few years. There are excellent fintech tools out there. Bill Paying Checklist The checklist includes each monthly bill, including the amount and due date. Each bill gets checked off when it gets paid. It could easily be a spreadsheet, but I print it out. I created the Bill Paying Checklist so we don't forget bills.

[00:05:48] It also helps plan for upcoming expenses. And if my spouse had to take over bill paying, he wouldn't miss anything. Checking Ledger When I was a teenager, I learned how to balance a checkbook and deduct future expenses. And it stuck like glue. Today, I don't use the old checkbook registers. I rarely write checks. But I do print out a ledger to track everything coming in and going out. Again, this would be helpful for my partner too if he took over the monthly transactions. Shared Spending App

[00:06:17] We've experimented with several spend tracking apps and software. Currently, we're using a free app that doesn't have the full functionality of Tiller Money. But with both of us using it, we can each see our monthly expenditures. Net Worth Spreadsheet We use a basic net worth spreadsheet we created years ago. It's had several iterations. It's simply a shared Google Sheet that we update each month with all our assets and liabilities. We calculate total net worth in one row.

[00:06:44] And net worth excluding our house and cars in another. Managing Money as a Couple This article covered how we've managed finances as a married couple for nearly 25 years. But we're not perfect, and things haven't always gone as planned. We took on unnecessary debt, made mistakes, and had financial struggles along the way. But through it all, we discussed money with honesty and transparency. And after many conversations about our future, we set shared financial goals.

[00:07:14] In other words, I believe communication is a vital key to our eventual success with marriage and money. You just listened to the post titled Money and Marriage – How We Manage Our Finances By Amanda Kruse of WomenWhoMoney.com Hey Sandra, we haven't seen us yet long. Hello, Nadine. Man, you look great. Yeah, thank you. I've discovered my plus for the health care.

[00:07:45] What? Come on, I'll show you. The movements of the AOK Plus. Cost-free for AOK Plus-Served. Find your plus for the health care. And start with our self-check. Just simply online on aok.de. From love to health. AOK Plus. And thanks a lot to Amanda for this article. I always love the Women Who Money site. I feel they have a lot of unique takes. And they certainly have a massive database of content,

[00:08:14] which makes it easy to read from them, which I really like. Now one piece of financial advice I remember reading in one of their articles way back, it always stuck with me. And though it was about personal finance, it is absolutely applicable to couples' finances too. And what the writer had to say was, if you want to know what your values are, just check your bank statement. Something along those lines. And I thought that was really insightful. And is especially true for those, you know, who don't have obscene amounts to spend.

[00:08:44] You might consider this with your partner as well. What are your goals as a couple? Are you spending towards them? Or does your bank statement reveal that maybe you've strayed from those goals? If so, why? And do you like this new direction that you're spending in? Or would you like to initiate some steps to start spending the right way again? So you can see how discussions about couples' finances can easily turn into greater discussions about the relationship's overall health. And surely we don't want to avoid such conversations.

[00:09:13] So something to think about, everybody. It's time to wrap things up for now. But thank you so much for coming and listening until the end. I appreciate you all. I hope you have a great rest of your day. And I'll talk to you again tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.