2629: Parenting is Not What I Expected! What Happened? By Kristena Eden of Core Living Essentials on Advice for Parents

[00:00:00] Hey Sandra, wir haben uns ja lange nicht mehr gesehen. Grüß dich Nadine. Mensch, du siehst ja toll aus. Ja danke, ich habe mein Plus fürs gesündere Ich entdeckt. Was? Komm, ich zeig's dir. Die Bewegungskurse der AOK Plus. Kostenfrei für AOK Plus Versicherte. Entdecke dein Plus fürs gesündere Ich und starte mit unserem Selfcheck. Ganz einfach online auf aok.de. Aus Liebe zur Gesundheit. AOK Plus.

[00:00:30] Hey Spotify, it's Dampson Idris here to celebrate Tommy Hilfiger's Apex GP Collection. Angetrieben vom Nervenkitzel der Geschwindigkeit und der Kraft des außergewöhnlichen Styles vereint die Capture Collection von Tommy Hilfiger performance-orientiertes Design mit grenzenlosem Selbstbewusstsein. Das ist mehr als nur ein Look. Es ist die Uniform für alle, die ihre Träume verwirklichen wollen. Discover Tommy Hilfiger's limited edition Apex GP Collection. Inspired by F1 The Movie. Only in cinemas. June 25th.

[00:01:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Parenting is not what I expected. What happened? By Christina Eden of CoreLivingEssentials.com Question. I am a mother of four children, and I thought that being a mother would be so filled with love and togetherness. What happened? It's about as opposite as it can get. I'm exhausted, and there seems to be constant arguing and very little cooperation.

[00:01:27] It has to be different than this, or at least some form of peace somewhere. Is there any hope of love? What am I doing wrong, or am I doing anything right? Answer. Expectations in life can be totally different than reality. This can throw us off, and prevent us from really seeing the situation. Yet there are some key elements that we need to put into place to grow that love and peace we seek while raising our families.

[00:01:53] These elements are communication, trust, time spent, and our fears, and how we can put them onto our children. We have children so we can learn and understand the power of unconditional love. Few relationships require as much from us as being a parent. What a growing experience this can be. And it needs to be on purpose, not just occasionally when we are in the mood. You cannot become rigid believing that you have to be perfect.

[00:02:22] It means that you stay tuned into each child and learn to feel their hearts. Do not be so authoritarian that the child does not matter. Do not be so permissive that a child learns that they are the center of the universe. Communication. A big part of communication is to listen, and listen, and listen some more. If a child feels understood, then they'll accept a no easier. If you want a child to believe you, then listen to them.

[00:02:50] You do not have to agree, but it's imperative to try and understand. There's a free download of a diagram that shows step-by-step a communication format that works every time. It's called communicating with power. The more you practice, the more it brings trust, understanding, and love. Communicate clearly and directly. Be an active listener. Be present. Pay attention to nonverbal cues. Be positive and lifting.

[00:03:17] Trust. This is a characteristic that needs to be taught by example. Be open and honest. Some things you shouldn't share until your child is able to handle the subject matter. Yet, do not instill any misunderstandings. Do not be afraid to admit that you don't know all the answers. Be sincere and genuine. The best lesson is to say that you're sorry when you've made a mistake.

[00:03:41] Acknowledging your inadequacies and mistakes will form a mutual trust and will teach your child to respect and trust you. You need to be consistent and reliable. Do what you said you would do. Don't go by mood or situation. Live your principles and let your children know what your principles are. Time spent. This can be different for every family. For some, it's to play games, do sports, or play music together.

[00:04:08] Time spent together can be the glue that holds a person together in hard times. You'll find that the ways your family spend time can change throughout your life. As children and parents age, then family time can change also. It's just important to have the time to grow and bond. This time spent can be a one-on-one or as a group. Both are important for the growth of all. It's easier to spend fund and work times together than to just preach and teach. Quality time is when you and they are present.

[00:04:37] No multitasking, just time together. Fear We all, as humans, struggle with the same fears. The fear of not being good enough and the fear of loss. These fears can be passed from one generation on to the next. We tell our children, Don't do that. Or, Can't you be like someone else? We can also learn these fears from peers or from the media. We don't look like the movie stars, or we aren't as smart as the child in the next chair.

[00:05:06] Yes, they do need to learn boundaries and they do need to learn self-love in order to live in society. Our fear can teach us what our next step needs to be. We need to name our fear and even help our children to name theirs. That gives us the opportunity to learn more, and it opens the opportunity to make changes that can grow a stronger relationship. It can grow stronger children and parents, especially if we share and try to understand. Your child's fear can trigger your fear and vice versa.

[00:05:36] This makes a good topic for discussion when your child is old enough. Parenting is a learning process. Some people are lucky in that they learn how to parent from great parents. Others aren't so lucky. The process of life is different for all of us, and that's good. Learning to parent can be an amazing journey for both parent and child. Keep loving. Keep saying you're sorry. Keep teaching. Keep learning. That is what the journey is all about.

[00:06:02] The speed to arrive is not as important as the direction we go. Quote, live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. End quote. By Anonymous. You just listened to the post titled, Parenting is not what I expected. What happened? By Christina Eden of CoreLivingEssentials.com. Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:06:32] Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this yoga nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily. And a great post from Christina today, really laying out some solid and all-encompassing guidelines

[00:07:01] for parents, really. However, not only is it important to consider how you as a parent can show your children everything she discussed, but also how your children want to be shown those things. For example, and she kind of referenced this, how do they want to spend time? They might be doing a different activity than what you might have in mind. Or what do they really need to communicate about? Communicating about all things except for one really important thing that you don't quite know how to bring up.

[00:07:29] That's not optimal communication. You see what I mean? So, just like with any relationship, we want to think about not only how we want to show our love, but how the other person is most ready to receive it. And it's really important to keep that in mind in parenting, since as parents, it's our instinct to set the pace all the time. But remember to keep an eye out on your child's needs as seen by them, not just as seen by you. Okay, and that'll bring us to the end for today, everyone.

[00:07:59] Thanks a million for being here. I hope you enjoyed this post, and I will see you again tomorrow for more parenting content. That's where your optimal life awaits. If we can see each other help, but let's just try a little bit of time, and make a Let's take care. Let's take care. Thank you.