2642: 10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill by Eddie Corbano on Fostering Authentic Communication

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[00:01:00] Das ist Optimal Relationships Daily. 10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill. By Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com. Why are we incapable of noticing red flags in a relationship before the actual breakup happens? Take Kevin for example. When Kevin got dumped, it was like a kick in the head for him. He needed days to come around and realize what happened. Even then it was an absolute mystery to him what caused the breakup.

[00:01:28] Had he seen it coming? He said no. But when I dug a little deeper, it became apparent that he actually had noticed unusual things in his relationship. He just dismissed them as meaningless. He would never have guessed that they could lead to a breakup. Apparently, they were anything but meaningless. If he would have given them some attention, he may have been able to do something to prevent the forthcoming events.

[00:01:51] He could have talked to his girlfriend, uncovered the problem, and tried to do something to fix it before it was too late. If there's no communication, nothing will ever change. The reasons why two people in a relationship drift apart are numerous. But if you spot the early signs, there's a high possibility to get back on track again. Why didn't Kevin see it coming? Why didn't he react to the unusual things he noticed? I believe that he knew what was about to happen.

[00:02:18] But it is very typical in such situations to refuse to accept that something is wrong. We would never think that our partner who was on our side for so long would leave us. This appears so unreal. Denial seems to be a good way of handling the problem. But as you probably know, this is only self-deception. Unfortunately, many cannot read the early signs, the red flags, that something is going very wrong in their relationship.

[00:02:46] Why should you pay attention to those red flags? After a relationship breakup, all we think about is, if I'd only knew earlier, I could have done something. But what would you have done? When recovering from a breakup or divorce, you have to go through the seven phases. What we often do not realize is that the one who actually breaks up has to go through these phases as well. Only they're doing it while you're still together. He or she has to do so, otherwise leaving would not be possible.

[00:03:14] So if you spot the signs in the early phases, you might still be able to prevent the fatal outcome. How can you avert a potential breakup or divorce? Certainly by talking to the partner, uncovering the origin of the discontent, and trying to eliminate the problems. Reminding your partner of the love that you had for each other by revitalizing special moments you had together is also critical. If everything fails, you have at least had the opportunity then to prepare yourself, and you will not be hit out of the blue.

[00:03:42] Let's take a look at the most common red flags that are an indication that your relationship is going downhill. 1. A lack of communication A lack of communication is usually the first bad sign in a relationship, but also one of the earliest. If you're discontent with your partnership, cutting back conversation is the first step of an emotional retreat. If your partner avoids longer conversations, check out why. 2. A change in behavior

[00:04:10] Does your partner act differently lately? Your partner was always a role model in punctuality. They aren't anymore. He or she is often late, without giving an explanation, and might get aggressive when insisting. Or he or she changes routines that were a matter of course for years in your relationship, overnight. Is there also a decrease in intimacy? No more of the cuddling and kissing that you and he or she used to do. These are just examples of a change in behavior to demonstrate what I mean.

[00:04:40] For you, it's important to observe these changes, should they appear, and take them as a warning sign that something just might not be okay. 3. Avoidance of talking about the future You used to talk about future vacations to foreign countries that you've always planned to visit. You dreamed together of the cozy house with the white picket fences watching your children play in the front. Take a look now at if your partner refuses such thoughts or simply changes the subject. That might be a red flag that something's going on.

[00:05:11] 4. Decisions are made alone You used to always discuss everything regarding important decisions in your life, be it your life as a couple or as an individual. Now you find your partner is suddenly making very important decisions on their own, just presenting you the facts. This could be seen as the first step towards independence for your partner. 5. Unusual activities alone You notice an unusual accumulation of activities your partner is doing alone.

[00:05:39] This is especially true for men. Is your partner meeting old friends that they haven't seen in years, working late, or discovering new places without you? This is not always an indication for infidelity. It can also be spreading their wings for independence, the first steps into a new life. 6. Hidden phone calls This is a classic one. Do you catch your partner taking hidden calls more often? The phone is ringing and he or she takes it somewhere else without answering at first? What does he or she try to hide?

[00:06:09] This could be infidelity or, just as in 5, looking for more freedom. Be careful. 7. New circle of friends Suddenly, there are a bunch of new friends appearing out of the blue. They are very important to him or her. Most of the new activities without you now are with them, shutting you out. He or she is spending less and less time with you. 8. Not able to be reached

[00:06:35] In the past, there was never a problem reaching your partner, be it at work or in private. They were always answering the phone. Now he or she rarely answers and doesn't call you back anymore. Text messages are also answered late, if at all. Another indication of seeking independence. 9. Makes unusual confessions There were issues in your mutual past which were never addressed before. Now, they're not only a subject of discussion, they often lead to disputes.

[00:07:04] I never liked your mother, father, friends, outfit, political view, nose, etc. These are just some examples for sudden confessions of dislike and disagreement. This is a very serious indication and should not be taken lightly. 10. Avoidance of long and intimate eye contact This is another serious red flag, which unfortunately often manifests when it's already too late. Your partner cannot look you in the eye because they've either noticed that they don't love you anymore

[00:07:33] or because of guilt. They may have already separated themselves emotionally and are considering the next step. Be careful. Conclusion If you only notice a few of these red flags in your partnership, don't panic. Going on a witch hunt now is the worst you could do. A few of these signs doesn't have to mean anything if they appear every once in a while. Just talk to your partner about it without pushing the panic button. Be aware of jealousy, that green-eyed monster.

[00:08:00] Jealousy is one of the most negative emotions there is. Never accuse your partner of something without proof, where you can create irreversible damage. If you notice more than a few red flags at once, if not all of them, then heads up, something's going on. As mentioned, communication and a recollection of your initial relationship virtues is a vital step in finding a way back together again. If Kevin wouldn't have shut his eyes to the facts, he might still be in a relationship.

[00:08:27] Always walk through life with trust, but keep your eyes wide open. You just listened to the post titled 10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill By Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com Hey Spotify, it's Dampson Idris here to celebrate Tommy Hilfiger's Apex GP Collection. Angetrieben vom Nervenkitzel der Geschwindigkeit und der Kraft des außergewöhnlichen Styles vereint die Capture Collection von Tommy Hilfiger

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[00:09:22] And that is Eddie's thought that Kevin might have known something was coming but refused to accept it. Now of course this is highly possible, it happens a lot. But I feel it's important to shed light on the many times in which we don't know something is coming. Mostly because we've already checked out of the relationship ourselves or never quite knew how to look after our partner's needs or be grateful for the relationship in the first place. And we need to be mindful of these types of things and question them deeply.

[00:09:51] Because in many cases, though we may never realize it, they are the impetuses for the very red flags that this article centers on. Relationships are a two-way street and we are not owed our partner's companionship. We have to continue to earn it. And when we forget that, we're more likely to be stumped or throw blame towards our partners when separation starts to occur or the relationship ends altogether. And with that, we're going to finish up today, friends.

[00:10:19] I'm sorry if that was a heavy note to end on, but it is an important one. So take this post with you and consider it. Let it enrich your relationships. And aside from that, I hope to see you back here tomorrow for more content. That's where your optimal life awaits.