2655: Dating Advice: Is Taking a Break Ruining Your Chances of Finding the One? by Dr. Diana Kirschner on Path to Lasting Love

[00:00:00] Do you pay for your hotel more than necessary? With Trivago you can compare the prices of hundreds of pages and spend up to 100 € per night. Very easy! Why pay for your next night more? Check the price for trivago.com. Hotel Trivago Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest.

[00:00:27] In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Dating Advice. Is Taking a Break Ruining Your Chances of Finding the One? By Dr. Diana Kirschner of LoveIn90Days.com

[00:00:58] Do you need dating advice about taking a break from apps, online sites, and all the frustration they bring? Are you tired of guys behaving badly? Of guys who don't look like their profile photo? Of disappointing dates? Of the ones who ghost and disappear on you? Have you lost all hope of meeting the one? You may be resigning yourself to being single. Or you're even considering reaching deep into your savings and hiring a matchmaker.

[00:01:24] But then you figure, no. You'll just put more focus on your career or job. On the upside, you have total freedom to do what you want. And you'll never have to share a closet. You're thinking, I don't need a man. I'll be fine on my own. I get it. And while I believe you can create an amazing life without a beloved partner, I know that deep down, you really do want to be with someone.

[00:01:49] So, here are six pieces of dating advice to use when you're thinking about taking a break or you just want to say forget it to dating. Tip one. Make it all fun. Often, when we're tired of dating, it's because we're taking things too seriously and getting attached to an outcome. Don't go into every date hoping this man is your potential husband. Or even looking for signs that he's the one. If so, you're bound to feel disappointed if he doesn't measure up to that picture.

[00:02:17] And that adds tons more pressure to the date. So, just relax and enjoy the process. Tip two. Understand that dating is a numbers game. Lower your expectations. Dating is truly a numbers game. Where you want to meet lots of guys to get to the prince. To avoid burnout, lower your expectations and look to rule guys out. You want to make quick coffee dates to confirm that each new guy is not the one.

[00:02:44] As you work through the numbers, you will be one step closer to meeting your true soulmate. Tip three. Make yourself happy. The more fun you have in general, and the more you do things to please yourself, the more ideal men you'll attract. So, choose something right now that you know would make you ecstatic and do it. Maybe it's taking that trip you've been dreaming about. Or treating yourself to a massage and splurging on a new pair of shoes. In other words, go for something that makes you happy.

[00:03:14] Tip four. Commit to the process. The reality is, you have to stay in the game. For example, you cannot go on an occasional date and say that you're really trying. In other words, women should treat dating like they would a job search. If you wanted a new job, you'd keep going to interviews and you'd keep networking until you found the right one. Some interviews might go horribly, while other positions just wouldn't be a good fit. You expect to not get every job.

[00:03:44] But you would keep at it knowing that there's no ifs, ands, or buts. You will find a job. And if it wasn't working out, you would ask for help. You would enlist a mentor or a friend or help with your interviewing skills and your resume. Tip five. Consider your blind spots. Let's face it. You can't solve a problem with the same kind of thinking you use to create it. And it's true. The reality is, you are a smart, successful woman who gets results in your life.

[00:04:12] If you knew there was something you could do to get off this merry-go-round of dead-end dating and meet your true equal, you would do it. So, I invite you to consider that there may be something you don't know that you don't know. And that something is keeping you from the one. We all have blind spots which keep us stuck. The way to get around them is to get support from someone who has some expertise. Perhaps a friend or a coach who was once in your shoes and is now happily married.

[00:04:42] And tip six. Stay open to the possibilities. Remember that love often comes in surprise packages. Oftentimes, when you're tired of dating, it's because you're stuck in a pattern of dating a certain type. If you're tired of dating guys who make their work their biggest priority, try dating someone who doesn't dream of being the next Warren Buffett. On the other hand, if the artsy, spiritual guys keep flaking, try dating someone who has a more cerebral job.

[00:05:12] So, if you keep ending up with guys who freak out about intimacy, try dating someone who is a bit more available and affectionate. Bottom line, don't quit before the miracle of love finds you. You just listened to the post titled Dating advice is taking a break ruining your chances of finding the one. By Dr. Diana Kirschner of lovein90days.com

[00:05:39] Hey Spotify, it's Dampson Idris here to celebrate Tommy Hilfiger's Apex GP Collection. Angetrieben vom Nervenkitzel der Geschwindigkeit und der Kraft des außergewöhnlichen Styles, vereint die Capture Collection von Tommy Hilfiger performance-orientiertes Design mit grenzenlosem Selbstbewusstsein. Das ist mehr als nur ein Look. Es ist die Uniform für alle, die ihre Träume verwirklichen wollen. Discover Tommy Hilfiger's limited edition Apex GP Collection. Inspired by F1 The Movie. Only in cinemas, June 25th.

[00:06:09] And thanks a lot to Dr. Diana today for not only teaching us about how to approach the pursuit of finding the right person, but to me, also teaching us about how to pursue anything worth having in life, right? As we reflect on her six tips today, we find that surely the sense of openness they bring could be applied to finding the right home, the right job like she was talking about, the right school, etc. These are all types of searches that we go on.

[00:06:37] And oftentimes do put a lot of pressure on, as she mentioned. And when they're not going as smoothly as we hoped, yeah, we can get wrapped up in either going for whatever presents itself, or the opposite, you know, convincing ourselves that we don't need or want that which we're searching for. When it comes to this type of thing for me, I always like to return back to the idea of non-negotiables. It can be very helpful to carefully consider that which we are willing to flex on and that which we are not.

[00:07:07] This gives us a roadmap. It helps us make sacrifices. It helps us maintain a proper posture, if you will. You know, not rigid, but not spineless. And it gets us in touch with our truest values, which is really the engine that should be driving any worthwhile pursuit in life. So, some things to think about, everyone. It's time to sign off, though, and say goodbye today. I really hope you liked this post and that you can apply it in any number of areas in your life. Have a great rest of your Saturday, and I'll see you again tomorrow,

[00:07:37] where your optimal life awaits. I'll see you again tomorrow, and I'll see you again tomorrow.