2989: [Part 1] 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs by Sandy Kreps with Becoming Minimalist on Decluttering As A Parent

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[00:00:50] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs. Part 1. By Sandy Kreps with BecomingMinimalist.com Stuff management is an important life skill, not just for parents, but for the kids we are raising. Parents often stress about how to keep on top of their kids' toys, books, and clothes, neglecting an important facet of life with kids.

[00:01:18] Kids can't learn to manage their own stuff if they don't get the practice and support to do so. Children need to learn how to sort through messes and decide what's important to keep and what's not. When my kids are grown, I want them to be armed with the skills necessary to manage their possessions, which means I need to help them practice now. Many parents I've talked to are overwhelmed trying to manage their own home, let alone the prospect of teaching their children how to declutter and organize their own stuff.

[00:01:47] But I've found that there are only 10 critical decluttering skills that parents need to teach their children how to manage their own stuff and set them up for success in the future. If you can conquer them all, your kids will be way ahead of most. 10 Critical Decluttering Skills That Parents Need 1. The Ability to Distinguish Between a Want and a Need

[00:02:09] A key part of decluttering and simplifying is the ability to determine what actually constitutes a need versus what items fall under the category of wants. It can be difficult to tell them apart sometimes, particularly for children and teens. The basic idea of food, shelter, and clothing as needs is not as black and white as it may seem. Yes, clothing is necessary, but are designer jeans a need? A letter jacket? New shoes?

[00:02:38] In some families, a cell phone may be a need for teens with lots of extracurricular activities, a job, or access to their own transportation. But is a smartphone a need or a want? It really depends on the individual lifestyle and preferences of the family. Needs versus wants will be different for each family, and it's up to parents to decide what falls into each category. Not just for their stuff, but for your stuff as well.

[00:03:03] In a multi-parent family, parents should work to be on the same page with what constitutes a need, and present a united front to kids for consistency's sake. 2. The Willingness to Model Desired Behavior Creating a minimalist lifestyle is not a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do affair. Parents have to be ready and willing to model the lifestyle they want their kids to reflect. Kids need to see their parents getting rid of their own clutter, curating their own possessions,

[00:03:33] taking responsibility and care for their own stuff, managing their own tasks and commitments, prioritizing what's really important before parents expect to see these traits regularly in their children. 3. An Encouraging Coaching Spirit Being a decluttering dictator is not going to work. Sorry, it just won't. Demanding that your kids get rid of their stuff isn't going to result in long-term changes.

[00:04:00] It's just going to generate anger, frustration, and rebellion. Encouragement, thoughtful consideration, and the willingness to coach instead of command are keys to teaching kids how to manage their own stuff. We want to instill good habits that can last a lifetime, not just temporary my-house-my-rules behavior. 4. The Desire to Ask the Right Questions Decluttering isn't just about tossing everything that isn't needed.

[00:04:26] It's about looking at items with the intention of keeping what's useful and fulfilling. The questions don't stop at, do you use or wear this right now? That's too simplistic, especially for kids who still place emotional value in material objects. We experienced a house fire a few years ago, and the aftermath has had a noticeable effect on how each of my kids manage their stuff. My younger son, a preteen, keeps everything. There's an unconscious fear of losing it all again.

[00:04:54] Keeping his nest feathered with lots of stuff, particularly stuffed animals and soft blankets, makes him feel safer and happier. He's allowed to keep what he wants within the boundaries of his room, and with a mandate that the room stays reasonably tidy. My older son, a teen, realized he didn't need or even want a bunch of stuff to deal with anymore, and he has become a minimalist with a fondness for higher quality items that will last and make him feel good. He has nicer things now that he puts a lot of thought into curating,

[00:05:24] and he's quick to discard things he's not using, aren't right, or don't suit him. Decluttering has to be tailored to suit the kid's personality and headspace, and you need to be willing to go beyond the easy, are you still using this question. Other questions to consider include, Do you use this regularly? Does this item make you happy? Does it help you feel safe, loved? Does this item bring up sad feelings? How would you feel if this item was gone?

[00:05:52] And what feelings do you have when you hold this item? To be continued, you just listened to part one of the post titled, 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs, by Sandy Kreps with BecomingMinimalist.com. And a wonderful start from Sandy so far. Now of course we're only halfway through, but to me, this post is already doing what it needs to do, because it's going a layer deeper.

[00:06:23] Clearly Sandy did not come here to write about, like, you know, specific techniques for organization. Instead she's talking about the underlying drives that motivate or demotivate a person to not just declutter, or teach a child to, but also go about many other important parts of life. We're finding here that decluttering, as well as so many mundane tasks, don't begin and end within themselves, but rather stem from our inner worlds.

[00:06:51] The desire to ask the right questions, for example. You know, that's a skill that's directly related to decluttering, as she said, but also job interviews, research, any number of things. So I really enjoy the universality that this article has shown us so far, and I'm sure there's going to be a lot more of it tomorrow in the continuation. So let's stop there and get ready for the rest of this article in our next episode. Thank you so much for tuning in today, though everybody, and listening until the end.

[00:07:20] It really means a lot. It helps keep this show going. Have a great rest of your day, and be sure to come on back tomorrow for more, where your optimal life awaits. .