2990: [Part 2] 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs by Sandy Kreps with Becoming Minimalist on Decluttering As A Parent

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[00:00:25] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:50] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs, Part 2, by Sandy Kreps with BecomingMinimalist.com. 5. The Willingness to Stay Hands Off As difficult as it can be, kids need to be in the driver's seat when it comes to managing their own possessions, particularly as they get older. Obviously, tiny tots and preschoolers need lots of help.

[00:01:18] But older kids and teens need the respect and responsibility of deciding for themselves how to manage their possessions. If you're modeling the behavior you wish to instill in helping your kids to ask the right questions when it comes to making choices about what to keep and what to let go of, you have to trust that your kids can make the best decisions for themselves, with you there for guidance, not guilt. 6. Accept When Hands-On Assistance Is Needed and or Wanted

[00:01:47] There is a Time to Back Off and a Time to Get Involved. And when help is needed, parents need to be willing to step in and offer the assistance. Chances are good that at some point, your child is going to want your help with their stuff. The important skill is the ability to help without feeling the need to jump in and take over. Or if you do feel that need, the ability to restrain yourself. Kids need guidance and mentoring. They don't need us to jump in and do it for them.

[00:02:14] If I see my child struggling with managing his stuff, I'll offer to help. Not demand to take over. Not say, I'll just do it for you. But I'll ask if he would like a helping hand. Either with decisions, the manual work of cleaning, or both. It's tough even for adults to declutter their stuff. So kids can't be expected to do everything on their own. Let them take the lead and be willing to help them navigate the complex feelings that come with simplifying, as well as the actual physical work required.

[00:02:44] 7. The Ability to Listen Without Judging Sometimes, kids don't know what to do with their things. Particularly if they have a lot of stuff and have never really processed what it feels like to voluntarily let go of things. They may be overwhelmed. They may be sad. They may feel anxious. All those feelings are totally fine and expected, and kids need to show that it's okay to feel whatever they're feeling as they learn to manage their own possessions.

[00:03:11] As a parent, it's important to be able to sit with them, and just listen to your kids without placing judgment on what they're feeling or saying. They need that safe space with you to learn to process their big feelings. Material possessions are often tied to memories, and kids are often anxious about losing a memory if they let go of an item associated with it. 8. The Ability to Explain Options It's easier to let things go when you have some choices on how to get rid of them.

[00:03:40] Part of decluttering is learning how to discard responsibly. Showing kids that they have options for how to let go of things can help them feel good, and even happy, with the decision of letting their stuff go. Things that still have use left may be given to friends or family. Maybe there's a charity in town, a homeless shelter, or a domestic violence home that can use your child's discards. Maybe a church or hospital can use some outgrown toys for their nurseries. Maybe a friend has a little brother or sister.

[00:04:09] Or maybe your child has a cousin that would enjoy those outgrown clothes. Maybe your child would like to try to sell a few things on a local buy-and-sell group, a yard sale, or eBay to earn some extra spending money. Maybe they have some video games to trade at a game shop for something new to them. Maybe those beloved books can go to the city library, or a school, or preschool library. Things that may no longer be useful may be able to be recycled instead of trash-bound for a landfill.

[00:04:36] Giving your child options for how to get rid of their stuff may make things a little more complicated, but it can go a long way to making them feel good about their choice to simplify, and to feel fulfilled knowing that discards can be going to helping others feel cared for. 9. The willingness to provide needed resources, including books, coaching, and supplies. Sometimes things are needed to help the decluttering process along, whether it's boxes and trash bags, or a good how-to book.

[00:05:05] Maybe it's access to a blog with decluttering encouragement, or a few minutes on the phone with a trusted mentor. Maybe it's a ride down to the local charity to drop off some hard-fought discards. It might even be a few new supplies to organize that beloved collection that your child wants to keep tidy, or a little paint to freshen up the closet they worked so hard to declutter. Keeping an open mind and being willing to listen to what your child is asking for to help them get the job done helps build the trust that you're a partner in the process.

[00:05:35] 10. The practice of patience There's no doubt about it. Decluttering and learning to live a minimalist lifestyle requires patience and hard work. Rooms don't become decluttered overnight, so it's unrealistic to expect everything to be clean and clutter-free in just a weekend. Being patient with your child as he learns this new skill, while encouraging him to keep working at it, will help both of you feel good about the progress that both of you are making.

[00:06:05] You just listened to part 2 of the post titled 10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs by Sandy Kreps with BecomingMinimalist.com And there we have it, a great finish from Sandy to a post that really covered much more ground than I think any of us anticipated, myself included, that's for sure. If you go back to my commentary from yesterday, I think you'll find that there was a lot more of what I loved in the first half here in the second half.

[00:06:31] You know, this touching upon much larger ideas that go far beyond helping children to declutter and extend into helping us teach children as well as ourselves to navigate many areas of life. So then, what do we do with this? Well, I might take this list of 10 and reflect on how these ideas might be of use to you in overcoming any struggle that you have right now. What troubles, in addition to teaching children how to declutter, might fall under these umbrellas?

[00:07:00] How could patience be applied in your life? How could listening without judgment come in handy right now? Are you being too hands-on or too hands-off with something that you're not making headway on? Look for patterns and see what you come up with. I am quite sure that plenty of them are there for you, as they are for everyone. I know they are for me. But that's going to bring us to the end of this post, folks. After two great days of listening to it, I hope you're able to connect with it and use it to better your relationships with your kids and yourselves.

[00:07:30] Have a great start to your weekend if you're listening in real time, and I will talk to you again tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.