3005: The Impact of Adult Bullying on Children's Developing Brains by Dr. Jennifer Fraser with Live Happy on Effects Of Bullying

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[00:00:30] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:54] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. The Impact of Adult Bullying on Children's Developing Brains. By Dr. Jennifer Fraser with LiveHappy.com. We prefer to talk about child-to-child bullying. Even though it's a horrendous and serious crisis, it's still a comfortable topic.

[00:01:16] However, we become quickly uncomfortable when anyone raises the issue of adult bullying. Advances in brain science have provided us with new understanding that can give us the courage to talk about adults who bully children. Not long ago, we did not believe a concussion was a problem. In fact, we saw it as a badge of honor for an athlete to go back into competition and show his team and coach what he was made of.

[00:01:40] We now know that concussions are actually serious brain injuries and must be recovered and repaired before an athlete returns to play. Likewise, we know now that all forms of bullying and abuse can do serious harm to the brain.

[00:01:53] This includes neglecting, ignoring, refusing feedback, walking out on someone, ghosting, excluding, shaming, blaming, using put-downs, humiliating, berating, threatening, yelling, swearing, assaulting, and all forms of cyber and physical abuse. Extensive, replicated, consensus-building research documents on brain scans how these kinds of bullying behaviors harm the brain.

[00:02:24] We cannot see the injuries with the naked eye, just like we cannot see the blackening of lungs when individuals smoke. We need a brain scan to make visible the harm to the brain, and we need an x-ray to make visible the harm to the lungs. Now that non-invasive technology has revealed to us just how deadly all bullying behaviors are to our brains, we need to change how we conduct ourselves.

[00:02:47] Adults, especially those in positions of trust and power over children, such as parents, teachers, and coaches, need to lead the charge. Children's brains are developing and vulnerable. They are extremely sensitive due to their developmental stages, especially from 0 to 5 and from 13 to 25 years. A teen or 20-something may look like an adult, but their brains are not yet mature, and they have a heightened sensitivity to their environment and their peer relationships.

[00:03:16] In a positive, psychologically, and physically safe, caring environment, adolescent brains will flourish. In a toxic, psychologically, or physically dangerous bullying environment, their brains will struggle and may suffer damage. It can be difficult for adults to recognize that they are bullying children and youth. It's challenging because we've been raised in a society that normalizes adult bullying while telling children not to do it.

[00:03:43] When adults bully, we do rarely hold them accountable. In fact, we're more likely to change our terms when adults bully. We say what they are doing is motivating, giving tough love, rejecting political correctness, being passionate, refusing to be a wuss, toughening kids up for a tough world, breaking down the victim to build them back up better, and so on.

[00:04:06] As a society, on a deep level, we still believe the myth that bullying and abuse are a necessary evil to attain greatness, power, and prestige. Perhaps this is why political leaders in society do not feel compelled to cover up blatant bullying behaviors in public or documented on social media. The myth that bullying is necessary to attain greatness is a myth in the sense that there is no research to back it up. None.

[00:04:32] In contrast, there is extensive research spanning decades that provides evidence for the long-lasting, serious harm to the brain by all forms of bullying and abuse. A quick way for adults to identify if they are bullying children is to compare how they treat kids to how they treat adults in positions of power over them. Do the parents speak and act the same way with their bosses as they do with their children?

[00:04:57] Does the coach act and speak to the athletic director the same way he does to his child athletes? Does the teacher act and speak the same way to the principal as she does to her students? If not, why not? Do children not deserve the same kind of respect and care? Surely they deserve more because they are sensitive and vulnerable and in a massive power imbalance with the adults in their lives. Science has informed us that all forms of bullying and abuse harm brains.

[00:05:26] Now it's up to us to take this empowering, inspiring knowledge and change our conduct. We can work together to role model empathy, thoughtfulness, and compassion so that our child populations learn a new way of being in the world. A far healthier, happier, and more high-performing way grounded in brain science and advanced through the adults concerned by the normalized bullying in society. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:05:56] The Impact of Adult Bullying on Children's Developing Brains by Dr. Jennifer Fraser with LiveHappy.com And thanks a lot to Dr. Jennifer for this article today. One that might have taken some of us by surprise. Or at the very least it might make us feel as though it doesn't pertain to us. Well, like she said, sometimes it's really hard to tell if we're being insensitive towards a child.

[00:06:21] Particularly because those lines between bullying and teaching grit and resilience get so blurry. The well-intentioned parent, which I trust all of you are, can of course get these things confused. Well, I would encourage all parents to be investigative about the parenting methodology they use on their kids that was also used on them to their dismay by their own parents. You know, oftentimes we mock the parenting styles we receive from our parents, for better or worse.

[00:06:50] It might either feel familiar, we might convince ourselves it was best in the long run, or it might be something we feel we owe to our parents. But we can often look to our childhood selves for answers as to just how effective these techniques really are. It gets very easy for our parents' tendencies to sneak up on us when we're parenting or being in a relationship with someone else.

[00:07:13] And when we are on autopilot like this, we can easily lose sight of how we're actually feeling about the parenting style at hand. Let alone how the other person, you know, our children or our partners are feeling. So, consider that parents. Parents, it's time for me to get out of your hair for today. But as always, I thank you for coming and listening until the end. And be sure to do the same tomorrow, as we're going to have another parenting post for you. That's where your optimal life awaits. And then, as we say, I'm going to have another parenting test. If you take one of the first behaviors. Thank you. And for the next behaviors, with the other person, you know, I think it makes the same amount of It's great.