3012: [Part 2] Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You: 7 Tips for Feeling Better by Marc Chernoff on Overcoming Social Anxiety

[00:00:00] Jetzt nur du, dein Podcast und eine leckere Auszeit. Ab zu Aldi Nord. Für 1,99 Euro machst du es dir instant lecker. Und für 59 Cent findest du dein neues Lieblingsdessert. Bei Aldi Nord findest du immer das passende. Klingt gut? Dann probier das Asia Green Garden Udon Nudel Bowl Fertiggericht. Ab 249 Gramm für nur 1,99 Euro. Oder Mezani Sahnekefir. 250 Gramm für nur 59 Cent. Das ist Gutes für alle zum Aldi Preis. Jetzt in deiner Filiale. Aldi. Gutes für alle.

[00:00:30] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:56] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Stop worrying what others think of you. 7 Tips for Feeling Better. Part 2. By Mark Chernoff of markandangel.com. 4. Let your presence overpower your fear. Ever notice how people who are struggling with emotional challenges tend to tell you how they don't want to feel? Fair enough. But at some point, we all need to focus on how we do want to feel.

[00:01:25] When you're in a social situation that's making you anxious, forget what you don't want to feel for a moment. Work out how you do want to feel right now in the present moment. Train yourself to live right here, right now, without regretting how others once made you feel or fearing the possibility of future judgment. This is your choice. You can change the way you think. If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on your mother in public, you would be 100% focused and present.

[00:01:54] You wouldn't be thinking about what bystanders thought of your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you were wearing. All these inconsequential details would vanish from your consciousness. The intensity of the situation would motivate you to choose not to care about what others might be thinking of you. This proves, quite simply, that thinking about what others are thinking about you is your choice. 5. Let go of your need to always be right.

[00:02:22] The reason your fear of rejection sometimes gets the best of you is because a part of you believes you're always right. If you think someone doesn't like you, then surely they don't. Right? Wrong. People who never learn to question their emotions, especially when they're feeling worrisome or anxious, make life much more difficult than it has to be. If your perception is always so accurate, why do you make so many mistakes? Exactly. It's time to let go a little.

[00:02:51] Being more confident in life partly means being okay with not knowing what's going to happen. So you can relax and allow things to play out naturally. Relaxing with not knowing is the key to confidence in relationships and peace in life. So, here's a new mantra for you. Say it and then say it again. This is my life, my choices, my mistakes, and my lessons. I have nothing to prove.

[00:03:17] And as long as I'm not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me. Number six. Embrace and enjoy your individuality. Constantly seeking approval means we are perpetually worried that others are forming negative judgments of us. This steals the fun, ingenuity, and spontaneity from our lives. Flip the switch on this habit. If you're lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don't be ashamed and don't change. Uniqueness is priceless.

[00:03:47] In this crazy world that's trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your remarkable self. And if they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same. It takes a lot of courage to stand alone. But it is worth it. Being unapologetically you is worth it. Your real friends in life will reveal themselves slowly. They're the ones who truly know you and love you just the same. Bottom line? Don't change so people will like you.

[00:04:17] Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. And number seven. Use rejection as a priceless growth opportunity. As soon as someone critiques and criticizes you, as soon as you're rejected, you might find yourself thinking, well, that proves once again that I am not worthy. What you need to realize is, these other people are not worthy of you and your particular journey. Rejection is necessary medicine.

[00:04:44] It teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren't going to work, so you can quickly find new ones that will. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough. It just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer, which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options. Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course. You're human. There isn't a soul on this planet that doesn't feel a small fraction of their heartbreak and the awareness of rejection. For a short time afterwards,

[00:05:14] you will ask yourself every question you can think of. What did I do wrong? Why didn't they like me? How come? But then you have to let your emotions fuel you. This is the important part. Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story. The floor is yours. As you look back on your life, you will often realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good,

[00:05:43] you were in fact being redirected to something better. So, just remind yourself today that you can't control everything, especially the opinions of others. Let go a little. And just let life happen the way it's supposed to. Because oftentimes, the outcomes and interactions you can't change end up changing you and your trajectory for the better. You just listened to part two of the post titled

[00:06:11] Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You 7 Tips for Feeling Better by Mark Chernoff of markandangel.com Okay, and that does it for this post from Mark, which I really enjoyed reading for you guys these last couple of days. Now, in yesterday's commentary, I spoke to the opportunity cost of excessive worrying about what others think of you. And now that we've completed this article, I find myself thinking that part of that opportunity cost,

[00:06:40] part of limiting your identity to how you feel it would be best received, is limiting your creativity as well. When we worry too much about what others think of us, and we, you know, change who we are to, to fit in more, whatever that means, we detach from our individuality, and thus our capacity to think creatively. The version of ourselves that we believe is best suited for others can easily be influenced by those others.

[00:07:09] Meaning our thoughts, our beliefs, our morals, our perceptions, our ideologies, can mimic theirs too. But these things shape how we see the world, and thus how we create our own unique interpretations of it. So we really need to be ourselves and have our own experiences if we want to maximize our creativity, as opposed to, you know, following the rules laid out for the prototype that we've decided to put forth.

[00:07:38] So think today about how your need to fit in with others might be stifling your individuality. And if so, what steps you can take to get back in touch with yourself. We are done for now though, everyone. Thank you so much for being here and listening through both parts. And of course, thanks again to Mark Chernoff for sharing. Enjoy your day, and be sure to join again tomorrow for another post. And where your optimal life awaits.