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Episode 3018:
Eddie Corbano explores how anger and the desire for revenge after a breakup can become a powerful catalyst for healing when directed in healthy ways. By channeling emotional pain into self-improvement and eventually rediscovering authenticity, he shows how recovery can transform heartbreak into personal growth and renewed confidence.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://lovesagame.com/the-need-for-revenge-on-your-ex/
Quotes to ponder:
"Very few of us realize that anger can be a good thing at the beginning of our recovery."
"You will enter a new phase where getting back at your Ex won’t matter anymore, and it will become irrelevant what they think."
"The most important thing is to be authentic, to re-connect with the real you."
Episode references:
A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin: https://www.amazon.com/Clash-Kings-Song-Fire-Book/dp/0553579908
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[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, The Need For Revenge On Your Ex, How To Use It To Fuel Your Recovery by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game.com I'm not quite sure when it started, but once it did, it was like an inescapable obsession that was driving me forward. The overwhelming pain slowly subsided. It felt as if a veil was lifted from my eyes and something new was beginning. Something that from now on would shape my recovery.
[00:00:31] The Energy That Drove My Recovery After experiencing a relationship breakup, you have to go through the different phases of recovery, whether you want to or not. It's the same for each and every one of us, from shock to denial, from an emotional rollercoaster to acceptance, from letting go all the way through to the reopening. It's the natural way of healing after a breakup. There are actually ways to sabotage your healing, but I'm ignoring those for the moment.
[00:00:58] Part of this process, especially in the beginning, is experiencing anger and resentment. We are angry at ourselves for all the mistakes that we think we've made, be they real or not. And we are angry at our ex for everything they did to us. Leaving us is on top of the list.
[00:01:44] The result was that it pushed me even further down. What I couldn't do at the time was to acknowledge that I was angry at her. So, I turned it on myself. How I took revenge upon my ex. Quote, I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid. End quote.
[00:02:11] By George R. R. Martin, in A Clash of Kings
[00:03:15] He is exactly what I always wanted in a man. I made such a terrible mistake leaving him. I want to reconcile desperately with him. But I know that he doesn't want me anymore, and that is really killing me.
[00:03:27] I cannot tell you enough how much it helped me imagining her saying these words. It gave me back my power. It put me back in control, and I desperately needed that. That was my revenge. Becoming the person she desperately wanted, and knowing she couldn't have me. As written, you will have a problem later if the person you are becoming is not the person you really are. If it's not the real you. But, that's okay.
[00:03:55] You will enter a new phase where getting back of your ex won't matter anymore, and it will become irrelevant what they think. Then, you will understand that the most important thing is to be authentic. To reconnect with the real you. A person you might have missed for a long time.
[00:04:10] My point is that this driving energy of revenge, by becoming the person they really want, is not a bad thing at the beginning. It will get you through the toughest times, but it has to be temporary. A transportation device to get you from one breakup phase into another. When you manage to do that, your perspective will change again, and it will release a self-finding process that is crucial for your recovery.
[00:04:36] This kind of revenge might not necessarily be the right thing for you, but it has helped me tremendously. Being able to reach your full potential? I, for one, had triumphed in the end, and also looked stunning as a positive side effect. You just listened to the post titled, The Need for Revenge on Your Ex. How to Use It to Fuel Your Recovery. By Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com
[00:05:05] A very enjoyable post from Eddie today. A post that definitely had some surprises in it, which I love. It's a really unique idea, you know, acting in such a way that may not be fully healthy and may not always be the best solution, yet is still right for that given moment. Other relationship experts may encourage different means of expressing anger. You know, it's always good to embrace it rather than to suppress it.
[00:05:30] Revenge, however, often has a more negative connotation, somehow, keeping many people from wanting to even touch it. Yet Eddie still has found a healthy way of expressing this need, which is always better than running from it. Is it reactive? Yes. Do we wish it wasn't there? Sure. But Eddie's personal example goes to show that healing must be respected at each level, and that even less-than-ideal means of coping can yield good results sometimes.
[00:05:59] You know, like a smoking hot bod in a fancy wardrobe, if you're Eddie, I guess. But before I make our author uncomfortable, I'm going to wrap things up here today. I appreciate you all being here with me and staying through the end, folks. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and be sure to come on back tomorrow, where I will have more content for you. That's where your optimal life awaits. Thank you.