3051: [Part 1] How To Feel Good About Yourself And Leave The Past In The Past by Orna and Matthew Walters of Love on Purpose

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[00:01:00] Part 1 by Orna and Matthew Walters of Love on Purpose Feeling down, stuck, or disappointed happens to everyone. Sometimes life just feels like you're stuck at a red light. Red light after red light after red light. Even wildly successful people can feel down at times. The real secret to success in life is knowing how to feel good about yourself so that you can move on and be happy no matter what.

[00:01:27] After a divorce or breakup, it makes sense to have feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. No one gets into a relationship expecting it to end. So when it does, it can throw you for a loop. You can start second-guessing yourself, and your self-esteem can reach an all-time low. If you're struggling to even make a connection, it can feel like there's something wrong with you, like you're broken. When things haven't gone your way in love, it's easy to believe that love is for others, but not you.

[00:01:55] Sometimes the longing for a meaningful connection with another human being can cultivate feelings of depression or cynicism about love. Unfortunately, sitting around binging Netflix won't help you feel better. What's even worse is that when you feel down, it's likely you're not motivated to do anything, right? It's important to remember that nothing will change until you take action. Sitting around hoping to feel better is okay, only if you do it for a limited period of time, though.

[00:02:24] You can throw yourself a pity party, but just know that that's not how you feel good about yourself for the long term. How to feel good about yourself is simple. You give yourself a deadline to stop moping, and then you take action. Then you will feel better. Life is full of challenges, and there's nothing you can do to avoid them. But you can approach them in a way that leaves you feeling empowered. Don't wait to feel better before you make changes in your life. Only by taking action will you start to feel better about yourself.

[00:02:53] Stop obsessing over past events, whether they occurred yesterday or decades ago. And instead, take these five actions to feel better right away. How to feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past. 1. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and move on. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Ultimately, forgiveness is for you. A well-known saying of the Buddha is,

[00:03:24] End quote. Practicing forgiveness will free you from the energetic dance you've been doing with the people who have wronged you. Forgive, but don't forget. Forgetting leaves you open to being hurt or being taken advantage of again. You can always re-evaluate depending on the person, but never allow a toxic person back into your life. This is a hard boundary that you should never bend so you can feel good about yourself.

[00:03:51] Forgiveness also allows you to free yourself and move on with your life. Without forgiveness, you are energetically stuck in the past and still connecting to the person who hurt you. Imagine there are strings and ropes of energy keeping you connected to each person and event that you're still holding on to. This energetic network holds you back from moving forward in your life. It's like trying to drive forward while pressing on the gas and the brake at the same time.

[00:04:19] Forgiving someone who hurt you doesn't require you to have a connection with them or to have any level of contact. You can forgive them from afar so you can be free of those past events. Beating yourself up for the bad choices you've made or taking responsibility for others' unacceptable behavior will also drag you down. Forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could with the resources you had at the time. Now you know more and you can make better decisions moving forward.

[00:04:47] Third, how do you feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past? Forgiveness is the first step. It allows you to get unstuck, freeing you from people and events that poison your soul and damage your well-being. Number two, honor and value yourself by speaking authentically. What is your relationship to your emotions? Do you ignore them and put your focus only on the positive ones? Or do you only see the negative and believe nothing good will ever happen to you?

[00:05:15] Do your emotions build up inside of you until you can't take it anymore and explode like a volcano? Or are you so disconnected from your feeling state that it would be difficult to identify your feelings in this moment? You're here in human form to experience the full range of human emotions. Positive, negative, and everything in between. When you're disconnected from your emotional life, you're disconnected from yourself.

[00:05:41] It may feel like you won't ever feel better when you're stuck in a negative spiral, but your emotions are temporary. Only by allowing yourself to experience and express them can you create the space for a new emotion to appear. Your emotions are momentary. They're important because they are valuable information. Being in touch with your emotions gives you access to your own personal compass so that you can navigate through life grounded in your body.

[00:06:09] Being able to identify your feelings is the first step. Speaking up and sharing them is how you create emotional intimacy with another person. It's an essential ingredient to form a deep connection in an intimate relationship. In contemporary society, your intellect is prized and your emotions are all too often discounted. The only way to connect with others and create a deep, meaningful bond is to share how you feel. Speaking how you feel is like sending out invitations to a party.

[00:06:40] Some people will be able to meet you at that high vibration, and some won't be able to attend your authenticity party. Whether the other person is able to attend is not a reflection of you. It is only information about them. Speaking how you feel is also how you honor and value yourself. You are saying that you count and that you matter when you speak your emotional truth. When you discount your feelings, you diminish your experience. Being authentic means one thing, and only one thing.

[00:07:10] Identifying and sharing your feelings with another person. How do you feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past? Speak your truth and then evaluate how it lands on the other person. If they want to discount or downplay your feelings, then move on. If they meet you at that high level of authenticity, then they share your feelings, and you can work on the relationship. 3. Hear that in tomorrow's episode.

[00:07:40] You just listened to Part 1 of the post titled How to feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past by Orna and Matthew Walters of loveonpurpose.com Kaffee in seiner besten Form Mit Cubo wird jeder Kaffee auf Knopfdruck zum Genussmoment. Denn mit der neuen Cubo One Kapselmaschine von Chibo genießt du feinsten Spitzenkaffee aus besonderen Anbaugebieten. Vollmundige Aromen dank innovativer Press-Brew-Technologie

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[00:08:34] Als Neukunde sparst du sogar 10% ab 35 Euro Bestellwert. Mit dem Code NEU10. Du hast ein E-Rezept? Einfach Shop Apotheke App runterladen und direkt einlösen. Gutscheinbedingungen auf shop-apotheke.com slash Gutscheine. And a big thank you to Orna and Matthew for the beginning of what appears to be a great post from them. I'm feeling compelled to save my commentary about the article for tomorrow's outro, once it's been read in its entirety. So, instead I'll end today by reminding you all about them.

[00:09:03] Now, Orna and Matthew are actually both marital and business partners. So, what they do together is help singles cultivate the tools that they need to find love, whatever that means. You know, sometimes the hurdle is improving communication skills. Sometimes the hurdle is getting more confident on dates, getting to know yourself better, or even recovering from past hurts, as we heard a bit about today. Anyway, you can find out more on their site, more about their coaching services and the products that they offer.

[00:09:32] It's highly recommended if that is the stage that you're in at the moment. But, with that, we will sign off, contemplate what we've heard today, and look forward to the rest of the article tomorrow. Thanks so much for being here, everyone. Take care, and I hope to see you back here for part two in the next episode. That's where your optimal life awaits.