3052: [Part 2] How To Feel Good About Yourself And Leave The Past In The Past by Orna and Matthew Walters of Love on Purpose

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[00:00:59] Part 2. By Orna and Matthew Walters of LoveOnPurpose.com 3. Find Gratitude for all the bad things that have happened. Why do bad things happen to good people? To make them better. This is not to diminish the tragedies in your life, or in any way to insinuate that you deserve them or that they were your fault.

[00:01:21] However, reframing the challenges you've faced to see them as an opportunity to grow helps you build resilience and can bring deeper meaning to your life. It can also motivate you to make the changes necessary to improve your circumstances. You're not motivated to change when times are good. Instead, you grow when there's a struggle or challenge to face. Just like you need resistance to build muscle, you also need resistance to overcome your negative programming.

[00:01:50] Would you feel differently about the challenges you've faced if you looked at all the bad things that have happened to you as spiritual training on how to become a better person? Can you look back over your past and find the golden nugget of learning that will allow you to finally feel grateful for what you went through? Feeling bitter about your struggles only keeps you stuck in them, sucking away your happiness and fostering feelings of hopelessness. Challenge yourself to create some wiggle room in your emotional life.

[00:02:19] Stretch to find the learning in your failures or foster a feeling of appreciation for the people who have hurt you or for the obstacle blocking your path. Find the spiritual lessons in your problems by changing your perspective. Embracing a gratitude practice will change your life. You can start with the small things, the tiny daily frustrations you experience, and then work your way up to the bigger things like heartbreaks and soul-crushing disappointments.

[00:02:48] Decide now that all of those things happened for you, not to you. How do you feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past? Find gratitude in the difficulties so you become resilient and able to overcome anything that gets in your way. 4. Laugh your past troubles away You can't change the experiences you've had, but you can change the meaning that you give them.

[00:03:13] When you struggle to stay positive, you're stuck in a negative emotional story that leaves you feeling disempowered or like a victim. Troubling memories sometimes haunt you and leave you open to re-experiencing the situation in your mind over and over again. Being able to transform your memories of troubling events puts you back in your power and connects you to the present moment. You may think that your memories are accurate recollections of past events, but your memories are colored by your emotional state.

[00:03:44] They're malleable. You can't change the plot points of the past, but you can reclaim your power from the past by transforming your emotional connection to specific incidents. Here's a laughter technique to lighten the load of your past and reclaim the present moment. This technique works because all emotions trigger chemicals to flood the body, and faking an emotion does the same thing. Fake laughing will give you the benefits of real laughter, so get ready to fake it until you make it.

[00:04:12] There are three sounds that make a laugh. Ho, ha, and he. Rotating them three at a time will give you something to work with. Place your hands on your low belly, and focus on taking a breath into your lower stomach where your hands are resting, and then begin to fake laugh. Ha, ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho. Hee, hee, hee. After a short amount of time, you'll find that you are actually laughing. That's because laughter is infectious and contagious.

[00:04:43] Once you get a good laugh going, speak the horrible event or memory out loud while laughing hysterically. Retell your story as if it's the funniest story you've ever heard. It may take some getting used to, just like learning to do anything, but practice makes perfect. How do you feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past? Practice retelling your old wounding stories like they are the most hilarious skits you've ever seen, and you'll no longer be haunted by the past.

[00:05:12] And number five, focus on progress, not perfection. As long as you're striving to move forward in your life, learning from your past mistakes, and making corrections along the way, you are a success. Don't let some mythical idea of perfection get in the way of celebrating all of the small, medium, and large successes along the way.

[00:05:35] Perfectionism, or even the striving for perfectionism, chips away at your well-being and happiness, because you'll forever fall short. Each night before bed, write out five successes for the day in a journal book. Remind yourself of what you accomplished, and leave what hasn't been finished for another day. Beating yourself up because there's more to do leaves you exhausted and facing an empty tank of gas the next day. Instead, focus on filling your tank by acknowledging your successes.

[00:06:06] Successes each day are relative. They need not be lifetime accomplishments. If you're sick with the flu, making toast and tea for yourself goes on the list. You can take things right off your to-do list, including household tasks like doing the laundry. Just write down five successes every night, and end the day feeling good about yourself. How do you feel good about yourself and leave the past in the past? You release your unrealistic expectations and allow yourself to make mistakes.

[00:06:35] You are a human being, not a human doing. Your self-worth does not come from what you do, but who you are. Feeling good about yourself is not something that will just happen when your outer circumstances change. The saying, no matter where you go, there you are, appropriately explains how important it is to nurture your inner self and to create a regular practice of self-care. You just listened to Part 2 of the post titled

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[00:08:01] Du hast ein E-Rezept? Einfach Shop Apotheke App runterladen und direkt einlösen. Gutscheinbedingungen auf shop-apotheke.com slash Gutscheine. Okay, and there we have it. The full post from Orna and Matthew, and thanks a lot to them for that. A lot of great takeaways between today and yesterday's episodes, and I think number three, which we heard today, is really not given the credit it deserves. Surely this concept of finding the good parts of bad events, you know, it's touted a lot in general self-help theory.

[00:08:31] But I'm of the impression that there's really so much power to be had in this if we continue to dig away at it. You know, not only does it help us to change the story of whatever events have transpired, which is so critical to healing and what Orna and Matthew talked about, but it also gets us in the habit of being more aware of how synchronized all the happenings of our lives are.

[00:08:54] When we really focus on how much we can not only learn from hard times, but also how directly influential they can be in the construction of better times, we're better positioned to free ourselves from becoming too hung up on bad times, and also too attached to good times. I think one of the greatest gifts we can have and exercise is to ride that wave of life, so to speak,

[00:09:18] and develop an objective understanding and comfort towards how we're always bound to transition between that which is difficult and that which is, you know, more peaceful. And the beginning of that process, to me, is to find gratitude in those bad times, as our co-authors have suggested. So, think on that, everybody, and go out there with an observer's mind today. It's time to wrap things up here, but I'm so thankful you stayed and have entertained both parts one and two of this article.

[00:09:48] Have a great rest of your day, and be sure to come on back tomorrow for a parenting episode. That's where your optimal life awaits.