3058: Signs That You May Be Addicted To Your Ex by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game on Relationship Closure

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[00:00:21] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:48] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Signs That You May Be Addicted To Your Ex by Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com. Sometimes when experiencing a breakup, it feels like you were completely and utterly not prepared for what hit you. It might not only be the fact that it may have come out of the blue for you, but also this undeniable truth of loss that is so hard to handle with the things you've learned so far in life.

[00:01:15] Many of you will have experiences already with forms of loss in your lives, but have they prepared you for the one you are suffering from now? The one thing I'm sure nobody prepared you for is the fact that you may be addicted to your ex. What does it really mean to be addicted to your ex? Addiction is per definition. Addiction is per definition.

[00:01:35] A persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful, characterized by well-defined physiological, here psychological, symptoms upon withdrawal. In our case, whether we acknowledge that or not, the harmful substance is our ex. And there's precisely the rub. That we successfully ignore and refuse to believe that our ex is harmful to us and our healing process.

[00:02:02] In your recovery, the problem can never be the solution simultaneously. But this is where we lie to ourselves, believing and hoping that our ex is the way out of our suffering. Unfortunately, this is so far from the truth. So, what happened to us? A study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology reveals that romantic rejection triggers the same areas of the brain as an addiction.

[00:02:29] Researchers used modern diagnostic tools to record the brain activity of participants in a study who had gone through a breakup recently. The participants described themselves as absolutely and very intensely in love. The results of the study were clear and somewhat disturbing. The evidence is clear that the passion of romantic love is a goal-oriented motivation state, not a specific emotion.

[00:02:54] There's a whole pathway that when you are rejected becomes activated just as it does with nicotine cravings or alcohol. These areas are associated with physical pain and decision making. If you've been rejected, you're in pain, craving this person, trying to figure out what's going on. You crave the person who dumped you. You go through withdrawal. You can relapse. And cravings can be sparked months after you think you've gotten over it.

[00:03:22] What this actually means, non-scientifically speaking, is that you've associated your ex's love with pleasure and happiness. This got wired into your brain. And now you are convinced there is no happiness without your ex. I understand how that happens. I've been there. This is why we stalk, especially Facebook stalk, harass and terrorize our ex. We desperately want the drug so we can be happy again. I remember vividly how that felt back then.

[00:03:52] This gut-wrenching feeling that there is a hole in your soul that cannot be filled. Yet you try and try. How to break the ex addiction. What you have to do is to rewire your brain. This means that step by step, you have to disassociate your ex from the notion of security, happiness and fulfillment. Your ex is not responsible for your happiness. So my distant relative told me many years ago. And my recovery exploded.

[00:04:20] Don't try to ignore or shut off your emotions because you can't. Accept them as part of your ex withdrawal, as part of your recovery. You must go through the pain. It's one of the most important aspects of your healing. Of course, to break the ex addiction, you must follow the no contact rule. This is absolutely essential. You can't withdraw from a drug by consuming the drug. It's simply not possible. With time, dedication and discipline, you slowly shift your focus.

[00:04:50] From your ex to yourself. Because the biggest benefit of your recovery is the self knowledge that you gain. Finding out who you really are. And this knowledge, if done right, will enable you to enter future relationships in a more confident and stronger way. Making sure your needs are met. Eliminating all the partners that are bad for you beforehand. Attracting only the ones that are good for you. And bulletproofing your heart from future breakup.

[00:05:18] This has been my mission to help you with since 2005, in my coaching and in my home study version of the ex detox system. I want you to recognize the opportunity this insanity has. I want you to acknowledge that your ex isn't the solution. And that getting them back won't heal you. I want you to want to get better in every possible way. If you look at me, this breakup was the best thing that happened to me.

[00:05:44] I excelled in every aspect once I realized the potential that lied in this opportunity. If you knew me back then, you wouldn't recognize me now. I want for you to go through the same process I went through. And come out of it as confident and as strong as I did. Is your ex addiction treatable? Absolutely. But you have to want it. And you have to take the right steps.

[00:06:14] You just listened to the post titled, Signs that you may be addicted to your ex. By Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com. Oh, it feels like the summer after summer. The new summer wash from Chibo is filled with light colors and frantic prints. Feine spitze, light micro-faser and summery cuts are just pure in the cold days. Even at hot days.

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[00:07:12] It won't be doubted, we have the Götter to the Herrscher. Drachen heißt, for the best price. Now, up 2,98€ in the month. Go to wow.tv.de. Streaming was never so wow. And thanks a lot to our friend Eddie for shining more light on the difficult process of breakup recovery. Something he does oh so well. An article like this is really important as it helps us draw a comparison and give structure to something that is not structured.

[00:07:39] Even if we've not fallen victim to it, we're all familiar with the seriousness of drug addiction and how damaging it can be to others. What we don't often realize, however, is how other types of addiction can creep up on us too. Especially when those addictions are abstract, you know, hard to define, and don't have that same reputation as is the case with breakups and ex-partners. Whether it's our own addictions or the addictions that we see others suffering from that they might not understand,

[00:08:08] this type of approach is great for bringing things back into perspective. And sometimes a simple perspective shift is enough to move us into healthier coping strategies on our own. So if you're struggling with a breakup, really spend some time with this article. Shift your perspective back into the other ways in which you can derive happiness from your life that don't have to do with your ex. Understand how helpful it can be to even try to wean off of them. And go on to thrive with Eddie's help.

[00:08:37] All done for now though everyone. Thank you so much for being here today. And I really hope those of you who have been struggling with feelings about exes have gotten something from this episode, and are in a bitter position to identify the ways in which you may be preventing yourself from healing as quickly as possible. It's been a pleasure being here with you, and you know we'll be back tomorrow. So don't miss out everyone. I hope to see you all there, where your optimal life awaits.