3082: 4 Things That Happen When You Find the Right One by Dr. Diana Kirschner of Love in 90 Days on Relationship Compatibility

[00:00:00] Very good, very good, very good. Very good? Wieso Steuer ist sehr gut? Das sagen ganz viele. Wer sagt das? Stiftung Warentest, Computer Bild, Focus Money, Chip, Finanz-Tipp, such dir was aus. Mega, aber das ist doch bestimmt kompliziert. Nö, einfach Foto von der Lohnsteuerbescheinigung machen und fertig. Klingt sehr gut. Ist sehr gut. Mit Wieso Steuer? Bis zum 31. Juli abgeben.

[00:00:22] Now, before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now onto the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 4 Things That Happen When You Find the Right One by Dr. Diana Kirschner of Love in 90 Days.

[00:00:52] Dating can be so very confusing. How do you know for sure when you find the right one? You meet someone and the chemistry is off the charts. You share five-hour dates, conversations that never end, a kiss that is off the charts. You have the same goals and values and vision. You think, this is the right one. And then, sooner rather than later, poof, he disappears into smoke and ghosts away.

[00:01:19] You wonder, how do you know when you find the right one? In this blog, I cover four things that happen when you find the right one. There are no guarantees, but these are markers that this person could be the real deal.

[00:01:33] Number one. When you find the right one, you feel like you've met someone who could be a great friend. You like him as a person. You respect what he's doing with his life. Over time, you discover that you speak the same language, share some of the same interests, values, and goals. You can be real and authentic with him. There is more ease, more playfulness, and less anxiety.

[00:01:55] You just love being together and don't need to have fancy dates or dinners. The miracle is that you can truly be yourself, be in the moment, and have great laughs and loads of fun, even when you are just going for a walk or getting ice cream cones. Number two. When you find the right one, he seems crazy about you. He gets you and values all the wonderful quirks and gifts you have. He is eager to see you and reluctant to leave you.

[00:02:22] In fact, he maintains regular contact via text and phone. You are not left waiting for a text or call or date that never happens. He gives you compliments about your personality, your appearance, your fun factor, and how he loves to kiss you. When you find the right one, he gazes at you lovingly from time to time. You are less worried about the connection and whether it's real or not because he is so validating, because you basically feel chosen already.

[00:02:51] Number three. When you find the right one, there is chemistry and you feel attracted to him. But the chemistry is not over the top where you wind up jumping into bed in a heartbeat. And maybe you don't feel chemistry all the time. However, it does sparkle up in a strong way. Maybe at the first kiss or the first act of making love. And there is more and more chemistry over time. Rather than a super hot flame out vibe, there is a more sincere, loving, and sexy vibe.

[00:03:21] Number four. When you find the right one, over time it feels like you are in love with your partner. The world starts to light up and look like a much better place. You see more beauty all around you. You feel more joy and happiness. More contentment. More hopeful about the future. Better about yourself too. These are the four things that happen when you find the right one. However, they may not all happen right away. You may meet a wonderful guy who is like a great friend and crazy about you.

[00:03:51] But there is not that much chemistry. If so, give it a chance. The chemistry can grow. Here's how to help it along. What to do when you find the right one, but there is not that much chemistry at first. Go on dates that are exciting, novel, and get the adrenaline pumping. This stimulates the speedy brain chemistry of love. Go on a roller coaster at the amusement park. Rock climbing at your gym. Take a helicopter ride.

[00:04:18] Try hiking on a high, winding trail or windsurfing. Make a mad dash to catch the sunset at the beach. Scream yourself silly at a football game or the racetrack. Studies show that people who are emotionally aroused, whether by joy, fear, or any feeling, fall in love more easily. As two love researchers once wrote, Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder. Second, see him in his element.

[00:04:43] Plan a date around skiing, a performance of his rock band, a wine tasting event, or whatever he excels at. You will catch sides of him you haven't seen before. His personal power and charisma will be at their height, and just may open up a host of juicy feelings. Third, to open up to chemistry, try turning yourself on first. Go on a date wearing your sexiest lingerie under your clothes. Flirt with him, get touchy-feely, whisper in his ear, and maybe kiss him.

[00:05:13] If he suddenly comes back with some sensual, sweet, mind-blowing moves, your chemistry experiment may prove to be a sparkling success. Bottom line, when you find the right one, and the chemistry is in place, you will be over the moon. You truly deserve lasting, passionate love with someone who is crazy about you. You just listened to the post titled, Four Things That Happen When You Find The Right

[00:05:42] One, by Dr. Diana Kirschner of lovein90days.com. And thanks a lot to Dr. Diana for another wonderful post today. Now it can be awfully hard to find the one, and even harder, perhaps impossible, to define it. Many people understandably believe that no such concept would exist given how many people there are in the world, and how many of them we could have loving relationships with had we crossed paths with them.

[00:06:10] But rather than obsessing over the term, it's likely more useful to focus on some of the characteristics that Dr. Diana has laid out today. And I really love how she reminded us about how to appropriately take time with these things. Many of us don't know how long to stay in something if there's not an immediate spark right away, or if all the stars don't align right away. It's important to remember that, with respect to Dr. Diana's writing, people express themselves

[00:06:38] differently at different times. This is especially true in relationships, where so much vulnerability is on the table. So, while it is important to only stay in a relationship in which there is enthusiasm and connection, or at least work towards developing them again if they've gone absent, it can be a tricky and sometimes long process to fully recognize those things. So, that's going to do it for today's episode, everyone. I appreciate you all sticking with me until the end for this thoughtful and romantic post.

[00:07:08] And you know I'll be back tomorrow, same as every other day, with more great relationship-building content, so don't miss out. Hoping to see you all there, where your optimal life awaits.