3101: 7 Things that Make Parenting as an Introvert Uniquely Challenging by Erica Layne on Healthy Solitude

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:26] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 7 Things that Make Parenting as an Introvert Uniquely Challenging by Erica Lane of EricaLayne.co Mom, says the 9-year-old, Bands in Room 9. I don't even know where Room 9 is. Do you? Mom, says the 7-year-old, I got two stars today. Remember stars? I told you about them after the first day of school. I got two today.

[00:00:54] Mom, says the 4-year-old. I see Vivian. Can I go show her my new dress? My ears take all of this in within the first 30 seconds of greeting the kids after school. Our walk home is punctuated with 12 million pressing questions and excited declarations interspersed with complaints and protests. By the time we walk through the door, I feel like I've been with them for an hour instead of five minutes. Put your backpacks away, wash your hands, and get your homework out.

[00:01:23] I remind them, as they take off their shoes, I'll make a snack. It's the end of the week, and I've done this five days in a row. I can sense that my agitation threshold is just about met. Where once I might have pressed on, powered through snack time at the table, complete with the smell of sweaty, never-still boys, and a spilled cup of milk at the hands of our little lady, Today, I do something different. Trying something new.

[00:01:52] Guys, I say, I need a few minutes of quiet. Can you work on unloading your backpacks while I go to my room for a few minutes? I'll be out soon. I take a deep breath, hoping it'll work. The boys agree, no problem. But I can tell our 4-year-old would rather follow on my heels. I bend down to her eye level and reiterate myself. Honey, I can feel myself turning into cranky mom. I'll feel better if I have just a few minutes alone.

[00:02:21] Do you think you could get the cups out and set a drink of water on the table for you and your brothers? I'll be out when you're done. She looks at me long and hard. Well, for at least one whole second. And I can see her deciding whether to take the bait. Okay, mama, I'll get the cups. Phew. I sigh and retreat to my room, desperate for those five precious quiet minutes before I launch myself back into the fray.

[00:02:48] 7 Things That Make Parenting as an Introvert Uniquely Challenging Parenting as an introvert is like having an out-of-body experience. No matter what stage of parenting we're in, so much of it is counter to what comes naturally to us. For example, Number one. We need our solo time. It's impossible for us to be our best selves without it. Quote, For introverts, this sacred time is just as important as sleep. End quote.

[00:03:19] That's by Emma Scheid. Number two. We resist noise, interruptions, and disorder. All of which kids specialize in. Sometimes we meet our kids playful yelling with yelling of our own. And not the playful kind. Because we just can't handle the noise. Many of us are at our wits end with the messes. The clutter of toys and crafts and school paperwork. It's just too much. And where we could happily get lost in a book or even our own thoughts. For hours at a time.

[00:03:49] Kids supply constant interruptions. Motherhood is intense for introverts. Number three. We don't like having to think on our feet and respond before we've processed. When was the last time you tried to reason with a willful toddler or teen? Parenting often requires quick thinking, where we would prefer time to process. Number four. We wish traditional phones had never existed. And kids make a surprising amount of phone calls. Play dates. Doctor's appointments.

[00:04:19] School related conversations. Etc. Number five. We can struggle to build a supportive village at a time when we need it most. Raising kids feels exponentially easier when you have friends and family to rely on. From emotional support to someone to call in a pinch. And although we introverts are loyal friends once we're in a friendship. Getting there isn't always easy for us. Number six. Our children need us to be their champions. Their advocates.

[00:04:49] And this can push us out of our comfort zone. As kids grow, their needs expand beyond the four walls of home. They often want to join sports teams and dance troops and go on band tours that require parent chaperones. Heaven help us. Sometimes they need an adult to stand up for them. To make sure that they get that IEP or are placed in the right classes or on the right teams. And number seven. We're thinkers.

[00:05:15] And sometimes all that thinking leads to overanalyzing our parenting. And sometimes overanalyzing our parenting leaves us feeling guilty for not being more for our kids. And this is hard. Challenges aside, there are things we excel at. Some aspects of our introverted personalities make us uniquely strong parents. The key is identifying those strengths and playing to them. And letting go of the guilt over the things we are not.

[00:05:47] You just listened to the post titled, Seven Things That Make Parenting as an Introvert Uniquely Challenging. By Erica Lane of EricaLane.co. Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this yoga nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping.

[00:06:15] Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily. And a big thank you to Erica for sharing her work with us today. For introverted parents, dealing with the constant noise and interruptions and disorder that children often bring us is overwhelming. The article mentions how introverted parents may react to the noise with their own yelling, not the playful kind as she said.

[00:06:43] And why? It's because they struggle to handle it. It's a reminder of how essential it is for introverted parents to find moments of solitude and moments of quiet to regain their composure. And another key point is that introverts prefer time to process their thoughts before responding. Parenting often requires quick thinking, especially when dealing with stubborn toddlers or teenagers. And this can be a real challenge for introverted parents who struggle to do this with any kind of person, let alone kids.

[00:07:12] But it's important to recognize their need for mental preparation and to try to create space for it when possible. So, while the article certainly sheds light on the unique challenges introverted parents face, the takeaway should not be just that level of understanding, although it is great. But also, as Erica said at the end, the emphasis on the strengths that come with introverted personalities.

[00:07:37] Recognizing these strengths and finding ways to work with them can help introverted parents navigate the ups and downs of parenting while letting go of that unnecessary guilt. And rest assured, a lot of attributes of classically introverted people are very advantageous for parents. So, that's going to bring us to the end for today, everyone. I can't thank you enough for tuning in today and every day, making this show possible and doing your part to become the best parents you can.

[00:08:05] Have a great rest of your day, enjoy yourselves, and be sure to come back with us for more ORD over the weekend. That's where your optimal life awaits. I've definitely heard my personal life, I wasn't sure whether or not. I had no choice of using this. If I have no choice of acting like having a mental life in any other situation, I need no choice of acting.