3119: Are Our Emotions Irrational or Logical? by Alysha Jeney of Modern Love Counseling on Self-Love

[00:00:00] Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft. www.rosarium.de Die richtige Business-Idee ist da, aber es fehlt an Zeit- und Programmierkenntnissen? Warum?

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[00:00:47] Das ist Optimal Relationships Daily. Are Our Emotions Irrational or Logical? By Alicia Janey of ModernLoveCounseling.com Are our emotions irrational or logical? Experiencing the conflict can be really difficult to navigate for some of us. I know exactly when it's happening. My body starts to tighten. My heart immediately starts to beat faster and louder.

[00:01:13] I can sense an eruption slowly increasing through my chest, entering my throat. I swallow with deep pressure in an attempt to prevent any real reaction to be exposed, afraid of what it will cause. I instantly, as if the swallow ignites a domino effect, remind myself, you're being ridiculous. Don't cry.

[00:01:34] My inner talk becomes overwhelmingly loud and dominant. It inherently dismisses my quote-unquote stupid emotional reaction as it tries to make logic of my quote-unquote irrational natural responses. This results in a conflict within myself that seems too difficult to even attempt to understand. I retract, shallow again, and listen to the loud voice that continues to tell me, stop being so sensitive.

[00:02:03] I've personally experienced this cycle of questioning whether or not my emotions are irrational or logical way too many times, and many of my clients report experiencing similar sensations and patterns. Can you relate? By avoiding my emotions and bodily reactions, I literally become emotionally handicapped, and I don't even know it. My avoidance and my lack of self-awareness were restricting my ability to emotionally function.

[00:02:32] While this behavior was embedded into my daily routine and comfort zone, it wasn't until years later that I began to see it for what it really was, damaging. It slowly became obvious to me that I was resorting to erratic behavior instead of facing what was really happening inside of me. Why? It was all in fear of exposing my emotions to others and getting rejected.

[00:02:57] I would blow up with aggression when I became intoxicated for reasons completely out of left field. I would settle for unhealthy and neglectful relationships in desperate hopes of feeling understood or complete. I was missing the core foundation of what was coming deep within myself. I continued to feel more and more misunderstood and ashamed.

[00:03:18] And it wasn't until I began to practice self-awareness that I finally realized how disconnected and out of touch I was with my own self. I realized I didn't understand my behavior. Instead, I just blamed others for not understanding me. I didn't understand my emotions. Instead, I just allowed my mind to bully me out of experiencing them sober.

[00:03:43] I felt weak, uncomfortable with vulnerability, and stuck with avoidance in any way I could find an escape. When we're children, we're often told we shouldn't cry. We should stop acting like a baby. Even when we're too young to process and identify the emotions we are having to convey to our parents. We may have gotten into trouble for misbehaving all because we lacked the tools to communicate our pain in words.

[00:04:10] Maybe we came from an abusive or neglectful childhood that disabled us from feeling safe being ourselves. So instead, we learned to mask our emotions, to fear them, and even deny them as a part of us because we interpret the message as crying and exposing emotion equals bad. We then start to subconsciously question, are my emotions irrational or logical? Which starts to create a difficult conflict.

[00:04:38] When we're adolescents and teenagers, we're often told by grown-ups that our emotional responses are not that big of a deal and that we shouldn't take things so personally. We may fall in love for the first time and get our hearts broken or have a close friend completely betray our friendship. These things may seem little to the average adult who is too busy to create the space for us to feel heard at that age.

[00:05:03] Unfortunately, not feeling heard when we are experiencing these emotional events reinforces our inability to feel safe and trust others. This only strengthens the message we received as children that there must be something wrong with us if we cry or feel sadness. Thus, reinforcing the conflict, are my emotions irrational or logical? We then get into adult relationships in hopes of experiencing movie-inspired love and true intimacy,

[00:05:32] but fall completely on our butts over and over again when we realize it doesn't exist. We try to imitate intimacy and connection without knowing ourselves well enough to even let our guards down. We unconsciously protect our emotions in fear of how our feelings will be interpreted to our partners. So we revert the other way and typically behave in ways that push them away instead, because it's easier. This phenomenon is known as transference.

[00:06:02] Well, no wonder our partner doesn't understand us. We don't understand us. So, are our emotions irrational or logical? Emotions are labeled as irrational to our logical minds, and to give our minds some credit, there is some truth to that. Our emotions don't always make practical sense or innately follow societal norms. Irrational is the opposite of logical, and when our brains cannot make sense of why we are feeling a certain way,

[00:06:32] we end up with uncomfortable confusion in an internal conflict that feels self-defeating. How can you get around this conflict and find a balance that is actually a win-win for both parts? Start with acceptance. By logically accepting that you indeed cannot make sense of your emotions, your brain is actually satisfied.

[00:06:53] Similarly, you can validate yourself emotionally by acknowledging that what you feel and experience is real enough, even though it may not make sense. By emotionally accepting that this is indeed natural, normal, and most importantly, a part of you, your emotional processes feel freed. Acceptance can actually become very empowering.

[00:07:15] It can reinforce our strengths and abilities as human beings, and as a result, help us become more in touch with ourselves. When we mask our feelings and natural responses as adults, we run the risk of never being understood by anyone or ever experiencing true intimacy. So go ahead, give yourselves the permission to be emotional humans and see what happens. I dare you.

[00:07:44] You just listened to the post titled, Are Our Emotions Irrational or Logical? By Alicia Janey of ModernLoveCounseling.com And I'll be back with my comments in just a sec. Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen. Mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie. Mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft.

[00:08:13] www.rosarium.de Die richtige Business-Idee ist da, aber es fehlt an Zeit- und Programmierkenntnissen. Warum? Der IONOS KI App und Zeitbilder setzt Ihre Idee schnell und einfach per Chat-Eingabe um. Ob App, Website oder digitales Tool. Die KI baut es und mit nur einem Klick geht es live. Domain und sicheres Hosting auf europäischen Servern inklusive. Jetzt schon ab 9 Euro pro Monat starten. Auf ionos.de Slash App IONOS Digital an Ihrer Seite

[00:08:44] And thank you so much to Alicia for this article. One that speaks to all of us a little bit, I'm sure. Whether or not we realize it. I really like the main takeaway here. One of acceptance. One of permission. But of course we also have to acknowledge that this isn't always so simple. Depending on who you are or maybe what emotion you're facing. So if you are having trouble simply accepting what you feel are very messy or perhaps unjustifiable emotions.

[00:09:12] Instead, see how it feels to try accepting this in other people. So you might have a friend who gets easily stressed out about making plans. Or a family member who is constantly overwhelmed about the future. Look for people who you care for. That might struggle with things that you don't struggle with. And start there. Can you empathize with these people? Where might these concerns come from?

[00:09:38] Can you remind yourself that in spite of these seemingly irrational feelings, that they're still loved and they're still gifted and they're still respected? Giving this grace to others who are under similar circumstances but for different reasons can go a really long way in helping you find self-acceptance. But that's going to do it for today, everyone. I thank you so much for coming and making this episode possible. Enjoy the rest of your day. And I look forward to being back here with you tomorrow for more content.

[00:10:06] That's where your optimal life awaits.