3130: Do You Want Your Partner To Treat You Like Royalty? by Evan Marc Katz on Lasting Love

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:26] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Do You Want Your Partner To Treat You Like Royalty? By Evan Marc Katz of EvanMarcKatz.com Have you ever been treated like royalty by a romantic partner? Have you ever had someone offer to give you a foot massage after you worked out? Have you ever had someone make you breakfast while you were still sound asleep? Have you ever gotten a card that made you cry, or a gift that made you gasp?

[00:00:51] What a wonderful feeling. To be loved, appreciated, and honored. This kind of generosity doesn't happen often, and when it does, it can be fleeting. But it doesn't have to be. So what does it take to have a partner treat you like royalty? Simple. Treat your partner like royalty, every single day. Impossible, you say? You can't make a partner be as thoughtful and generous as you.

[00:01:17] Ha ha, but you can. Treat a guy well, and he is not going to go anywhere. Once you learn how some of your thought patterns and behaviors can accidentally alienate men, you can make slight adjustments which will create long-term connections. If you're like me, you get along with most people. You don't necessarily want everyone to be your best friend, but there aren't many folks that truly rub you the wrong way. When you look at the few people who do, you'll probably notice a pattern.

[00:01:46] The people that you can't be yourself around are either self-indulgent, narcissistic, arrogant, and outwardly rude, or people who make you feel wrong. Now, none of us like to think that we are arrogant and rude. But when it comes to relationships, we often find tiny ways to make our partners feel wrong. Imagine you had a boyfriend who said things like, Why don't you grow your hair longer? Why do you always complain about your job?

[00:02:14] How come you can never do anything spontaneously? Maybe you should start working out more. Why are you always talking to other men at parties? How come you're always hanging out with your annoying girlfriends? Yeah, guys can be really critical and blunt sometimes. I'm not going to defend their behavior for half a second. However, I would like to point out that you probably do the same exact thing. Why can't you put away your clothes in the hamper?

[00:02:41] Would it kill you to make plans with me more than one day in advance? Why don't you make a bigger deal about my birthday? How come you're always running 15 minutes late? Why is watching football with your friends more important than seeing me? Why do you always wear that ratty old shirt? You see, it's easy to remember all the minor criticisms you've received. It's a lot harder to recall all of the digs you've taken at the man you've dated. But you've done it. We all have.

[00:03:10] Alas, nobody likes criticism, even if it's valid. Your observations may be correct, but your messaging needs a lot of work. So if a guy told you to lose weight or stop seeing your friends, you'd probably get really angry with him. You'd have every right to. And I can see why you feel justified in your anger. Because you want to be loved unconditionally. Because you want to be accepted for who you are. Because you don't want to have to change for anyone. Yet somehow you still think it's fair that your boyfriend should change for you.

[00:03:40] It just doesn't work that way. True love is about accepting his flaws. Not because he's perfect, but because you want him to accept your flaws as well. By telling you to accept your man for who he is, I don't mean that you should start putting up with unacceptable behavior. The man who cheats or lies or can't communicate or commit is a man who should be left, not changed. But if you've got a decent guy who is flawed, as all of us are,

[00:04:06] it means offering him more positive reinforcement and less negative reinforcement. What happens when a man says something nice to you? Compliments you on your eyes or your wit or your triumph at work? It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It works the same way for us. Positive reinforcement makes a man feel great about himself and about you. On the other hand, negative reinforcement makes him feel bad about himself and about you. Why?

[00:04:35] Because nobody wants to be told that he's wrong. I can only imagine how you feel about me because I'm telling you this. Understand, being critical is a universal trait. It's not just a female one. The great news is, by being a more supportive and accepting girlfriend, you actually bring a better side out in your man. That's right. Most men are used to women telling us what's wrong with us. When we find someone who accentuates the positive and ignores the negative, we feel like a million bucks.

[00:05:05] My wife is gifted at this. She set the bar so high that I have no choice but to jump it. It's hard not to give when you receive as much as I do. In that way, her generosity has made me a better husband. Your generosity will do the same. You can literally transform men just by treating them with more kindness and respect. This concept works on dates and business with family. You want to be treated like a princess? Start treating your men like kings.

[00:05:38] You just listened to the post titled, Do You Want Your Partner to Treat You Like Royalty? by Evan Mark Katz of EvanMarkKatz.com And I'll be back with my commentary right after this. Okay, and thank you to Evan for this post. I really like most of this article because I don't think reciprocity is talked about enough when it comes to relationships. Relationships of all kinds, mind you. As he said, this applies in family, business, etc.

[00:06:07] In many cases, what Evan has said today is right. Bringing your best self to a relationship will usually encourage others to do the same. Usually. You give trust to get trust. Give respect to get respect. You listen to be listened to. However, it should go without saying that it is in our best interest to behave in these ways knowing that reciprocity is a possibility, not a guarantee.

[00:06:33] We should behave in these ways so we can feel confident in what we are bringing to the relationship. Not so we can enter into some kind of transactional agreement. Right? You know, if you have a history of lying, for example, it'll probably take a while for someone to build up to a high amount of trust in you regardless of if you give them your full trust. Or sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you give to someone. There might be one unchangeable attribute of yours that they just do not like and will not get past.

[00:07:00] Be it your race, your religion, your political views, you name it. So, in most stable relationships, yeah, reciprocity can be a nice additive that you can reasonably expect a little of. But it really should not be the basis of how you treat people. And I definitely would not use it as a tool to transform people. I'm not sure about that. So, I hope that makes sense, everybody. It is time for me to get going now and wrap up another episode of OID.

[00:07:30] Thanks a lot for tuning in and doing right by your relationships. Enjoy your Saturday and be sure to come back again tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.