3134: How to Screw Up Your Marriage on Purpose by James Altucher on Marriage Tips

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[00:00:30] Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen. Mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie. Mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft. www.rosarium.de Optimal Relationships Daily How to Screw Up Your Marriage on Purpose by James Altucher of jamesaltucher.com

[00:01:00] Many people want to end their marriages. I get it. Sometimes people marry for the wrong reasons, and sometimes people marry the wrong people. Or even better, sometimes you marry the right person, but they married the wrong person. Or even worse, sometimes you marry the right person, but then you just want to screw it up because you get real pleasure out of doing that.

[00:01:22] Good for you. Do what you want. Forget couples therapy or anything like that. 85% of people who go to couples therapy end up divorced. Made up that number, I have no idea. But, since many people either want to end their marriage or get pleasure out of it in some way, I figured I would make it easy for them and give a complete guide on how to end your marriage.

[00:01:44] I wrote this because a friend of mine is getting married this week. I figured I would give him this practical guide to end his marriage for two reasons. Perhaps one day he would need it. Or, hopefully, if he does the opposite of everything I suggest, then he will have a long and successful marriage. That's good also. So, if you want to end everything, try any or all of the following. Always interrupt her when she is trying to explain a problem.

[00:02:12] Because she is dying to hear your fantastic solution before she finishes talking. Even better, when she's talking, you can say, Honey, it's not the journey. It's the destination. By the way, I say her, but it can easily be him. I'm just saying this from a male perspective because I'm a man and I've been divorced. Eat a lot. Why not? It's fun. And don't shower or wear nice clothes ever. And never clean up after yourself.

[00:02:40] Let food just drip down your face and use your finger to wipe your lips whenever you get a chance. If you're not sure why this can ruin a marriage, then don't worry about it. You're well on your way. Openly flirt with other women. Even secretly flirt with other women, since the social wife network is actually bigger and more powerful than the Facebook plus the NSA. This applies, of course, in reverse. Women should always flirt with other men if they want to ruin their marriage.

[00:03:08] Or just talk about other men. Same thing. Even better than flirting, since flirting requires a lot of work, accuse her constantly of flirting or cheating on you. Read her emails. Study her phone bills. Spy on her. Show up unexpectedly at places where you know she could be cheating on you. Stop surprising her. Even leave the door open when you're going to the bathroom. All the mysteries are over. We're all basically repulsive people.

[00:03:37] Let your spouse know how truly repulsive you are. Become even more repulsive, as if you were trying out for the circus. This could be a lot of fun, in addition to ruining your marriage. Travel a lot, and then when you're home, get too tired to spend any time with her. Your work is important, dang it. Travel for work, to Las Vegas. A lot. After you fight, get really passive-aggressive, and don't talk to her until she apologizes.

[00:04:05] Even when she capitulates, take a day or two before you let things return to normal. Changing sheets, washing dishes, taking care of kids, cleaning the popcorn trail you leave on the floor? That's her job. Or she could coordinate it with the maids. Disagree on whether or not to have children. And when you finally cave in, always hold it against her to get other things you want, like alone time for two- or three-week vacations by yourself.

[00:04:36] Find some things that consistently result in arguments. Make a deck of 52 cards with one argument type written on each card. Cut the deck each day to determine the argument for that day. Like, for instance, which in-laws to spend Christmas with. That's usually a good one. Demand sexy time at odd times. Like, at her mother's house when everyone is in the room next to you. Or say,

[00:05:02] I've always wanted to do it in a phone booth, and you are in the middle of New York City. Keep upping the challenge as you get older. Don't take care of your teeth. You need good teeth to get married. But bad teeth will destroy even the best of marriages. Try to lose your teeth if you can. That gets them all infected along the way. Very, very attractive. Take her family's side. She's going to argue with her family. Always take their side.

[00:05:32] Marriages are fun to end. You should try it. But if you don't want to, then don't do any of the things that I just listed. If you can think of anything to add to this list, please tell me so I can avoid doing them. More importantly, sometimes when we want to save the good things in our life, it's important to do less of the bad things. So, whatever it is, a relationship, a job, an addiction, don't try any new techniques or self-hurt books or whatever.

[00:06:01] Try first to do less of the bad. Then maybe good things will happen. You just listened to the post titled How to Screw Up Your Marriage on Purpose by James Altucher of jamesaltucher.com Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt.

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[00:06:58] Jetzt schon ab 9 Euro pro Monat starten. Auf iONOS.de slash app IONOS Digital an Ihrer Seite And a great one from James today for those who are looking for a way out. But seriously, while this post has a lot of humor and sarcasm, needless to say, James is really offering us a healthy, simple, and commonly overlooked way of tackling our problems. You know, so often in the personal development industry, we are focusing on solutions.

[00:07:27] What we can start, what we can build, and so on. And it's easier to do that than to focus on what we should stop. Because taking responsibility for our bad habits is a lot more uncomfortable. And in order for them to be uncomfortable, we first have to acknowledge them, which is yet another thing we're not apt to be doing. So, James' approach here is really good for anyone. Maybe you don't have to add something to your plate in order to improve. Maybe instead a first step that's at your disposal

[00:07:56] is what you can take away or what you can stop. This is true in the relationships we have with others as well as the relationships we have with ourselves. So, something to think about. But with that, I hope you all enjoy taking some time to look at the ways you are messing up. Always fun. But really, everyone, have a great rest of your day. Have a great start to your week. And be sure to come back tomorrow for more. That's where your optimal life awaits.