3136: How to Fight Entitlement Mentality in an Entitled World by Kalen Bruce of Freedom Sprout on Family Values

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:24] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Fight Entitlement Mentality in an Entitled World by Kalen Bruce of FreedomSprout.com There are actual studies showing that kids today are 25% more entitled than older generations and 50% more entitled than the oldest generation. But I don't think we need studies to see that the entitlement mentality is taking its course.

[00:00:53] This isn't a political post. This is not a fix our youth post. I'm simply trying to shine light on an issue that we all face with our children. Entitlement. Let's see how we can deal with this, for our kids' sake. What is Entitlement Mentality? A basic definition from the Cambridge Dictionary defines entitlement as,

[00:01:33] So, what's the opposite of entitlement? One informal opposite, the first term that comes to my mind, is adversity. It's not a literal opposite. It's the opposite in that kids who experience adversity tend to deny the entitlement mentality. Entitlement instills the idea that you don't have to work for things, yet they should still be given to you, because you are you.

[00:02:00] Adversity takes from you when you have nothing left to give, which is why kids raised in an adverse environment often grow up to be the happiest and most successful. That doesn't mean we should force adversity on our kids, but we can learn from adversity's effects, and use that to help raise our kids without always giving them the easy way out. Entitlement. It's easy to see how an entitled mindset can be dangerous, and mostly how it can be devastating for a child's future.

[00:02:28] Entitlement goes against reality, because in life, you aren't going to be given things for being you. In some cases you might, but those are rare circumstances, and that usually makes it worse. Excuses and Entitlement Excuses go along with the entitlement mentality. I don't have to do this because someone else will do it, or you have to do this because I want you to do this. No more, no less.

[00:02:55] The problem is, that doesn't work, and it doesn't help anyone. Excuses are never helpful, even if they're justified. For example, the family who is in tremendous debt due to unexpected medical bills won't solve their problem by explaining why they're in debt. We're dealt our cards, and we must react to what we're dealt in a healthy way. I'm not saying there aren't legitimate excuses. There are.

[00:03:21] But they still don't help, and holding onto excuses can lead to entitlement and inaction. How to fight entitlement in our kids In my research for writing this, I found that there are the basic things in a lot of articles. Things like, teach the value of hard work, don't always say yes to your kids, define a line of what slash when your children can ask for things. But there is something else that I found a lot of articles are missing.

[00:03:49] So, what can we do to prevent our kids from growing up entitled? Replace entitlement with gratitude. We have to fight the mindset that things are given to us for no reason at all, because things aren't. If you give your kids everything they want now, expect to keep that up when they leave home, or have very disappointed adult children. Entitlement breeds a, I'll be happy when mindset, which is also destructive. Why wait to be happy?

[00:04:19] Yet we're almost all guilty of it. I'll be happy when I get that promotion. I'll be happy when we move to a bigger city. I'll be happy when I get married, or divorced, or married to someone else. Entitlement always tells you that you deserve more. Gratitude and contentment will overcome entitlement. Contentment doesn't mean to accept your place in life and not try to do better for yourself. Contentment means you strive for more, sure. But you appreciate what you have.

[00:04:48] You're grateful for what you have. That's the key here. Don't feel guilty for not being able to give your kids more. Teach contentment and gratitude for the things you can give your kids. Children don't need much outside of a love for you. Toys are overrated, and studies show that the more toys kids have, the less they appreciate them. Raising content and grateful kids Instill a heart of gratitude in your kids. Teach them to be content.

[00:05:18] Model both for them to see. And raise your children to have a giving heart. Giving is the fastest way to show contentment and gratitude. When your kids give to less fortunate kids, they'll start to appreciate the things they have. And the idea is that they will love the act of giving. As I've stated before, there are several ways to teach giving. Involve your children in your giving. Show them how you give. Show them how you are a cheerful giver.

[00:05:46] Take it easy on their giving. While it's important to teach your child to give, don't force it. Give in more ways than one. Your child may love giving their time, but be a little reluctant to give money. Or vice versa. Teach them to be open to other forms of giving by focusing on what they enjoy. And go where they can see their giving. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and take your child along. They may just fall in love with giving and serving others.

[00:06:16] When your kids learn to appreciate people over material possessions, they're on the right track. Once they learn that the childish entitlement mentality isn't going to help anyone, they're more likely to get rid of the idea completely. If you feel your kids may be entitled, which most of our kids probably are, at least a little, start working on gratitude, contentment, and giving. It's the fastest way for your kids to learn what truly matters.

[00:06:48] You just listened to the post titled, How to Fight Entitlement Mentality in an Entitled World, by Kaylin Bruce of freedomsprout.com. And a big thank you to Kaylin for this post, one that I'm sure all parents have a vested interest in, as entitlement is a word that I think most can agree comes with a negative connotation, yet also has many different opinions surrounding where it comes from, what it looks like, and of course, how to solve it.

[00:07:15] I think Kaylin laid out some great ideas today, some great insight. But before we go, I do also think it's worth mentioning that entitlement can easily go hand in hand with a trauma response. And what I mean by that is, sometimes when things have been taken from us, or we've been given no power or space historically, entitlement can feel like a justifiable form of healing. And we wouldn't call it entitlement.

[00:07:43] Depending on the context or the feelings surrounding the situation, the same behavior could be defined as either entitlement or someone finally standing up for themselves and taking some time to just receive. I think the difference, of course, boils down to a sense of awareness for others and camaraderie. But for hurt people, it's hard to see that clearly, and survival mode can make friends seem like enemies. So consider this side of entitlement when you think you're seeing it in others or yourself.

[00:08:13] And if you or someone you know is currently in a space in which the emphasis is taking their power back, consider whether or not there might be some entitlement there too. But that'll do it for today, everyone. Another one in the books, and I really appreciate you tuning in as always and making another episode possible. Enjoy your Thursday, and be sure to come back again tomorrow, where I will have another parenting post for you. That's where your optimal life awaits.