Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free.
Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home.
Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com
Episode 3146:
Eddie Corbano lists the seven character flaws he sees destroy relationships most often: jealousy, clinging, lack of respect, wrong ideas of what a relationship is, expectations set too high, lost communication, and settling into routine. He traces the first two back to a shared root in the fear of loss, and argues that knowing the pattern is what lets you catch yourself before it does damage. It is straightforward relationship advice for anyone rebuilding after a breakup or trying to keep a good thing from going stale.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://lovesagame.com/the-7-deadly-sins-in-a-relationship/
Quotes to ponder:
"In my opinion jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is."
"Losing communication in a relationship is a silent killer."
"To know that you have to work in your relationship every day for your happiness is the key to success."
Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.
[00:00:26] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, The 7 Deadly Sins In A Relationship by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game There is one particular fear that is usually waiting for you when you're finally over your breakup or divorce. The fear of the next relationship. The fear that all you went through will eventually happen again.
[00:00:49] The path to the healing was arduous. The pain unimaginable. You really never want to go through something like that again. Ever. That is very understandable. Unfortunately, nobody can guarantee you that. But there is one thing I can guarantee you. If you have gone through the phases of a breakup correctly, you will cope much better with a potential future breakup than you did before. Also, it helps if you know the seven deadly sins in a relationship.
[00:01:18] Surviving the breakup The last phase in getting over a breakup is the reopening, where you learn to open yourself up for new relationships again. You've learned so much in the past months or years. You really did a tremendous job. You've become a stronger person. You know yourself better.
[00:01:36] You've realized that self-love is the vital premise for a happy life. You've gained knowledge of the reasons which led to your breakup or divorce back then, and managed to distance yourself emotionally from it. You are able to forgive your ex and move on, and you are now ready for a new relationship. Fighting the Fear But what if you make the same mistakes you've made earlier? What if you fall into the same habits as before and drive your new partner away?
[00:02:04] First of all, fear is never a good counselor. You should always look positively and confidently into the future. But I understand where this is coming from. You can overcome this fear the same way you can overcome every other fear, with knowledge and action. First you have to know the main causes for a disturbance in a relationship. Then you have to stop making them. What are the main causes for relationships to fail?
[00:02:29] Well, they're numerous. But you will observe that certain mistakes—I should say better character flaws—that are very common can destroy even the happiest relationship. It's very important to know them and to react immediately as soon as you notice them in you. I've put together the seven most common relationship-destroying sins, and here they are for you. The seven deadly sins in a relationship. 1. Jealousy
[00:02:57] In my opinion, jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is. Never will positive come out of jealousy. It results from fear of loss and tenure, and is strictly ego-based. It is one of the greatest threats to a relationship. A jealous partner can truly diminish your quality of life, and I've seen couples splitting up because of this, despite the fact that they love each other. Overcoming jealousy is not so easy, but it must start at its roots.
[00:03:26] The only way is to work on your self-love and to increase trust in your relationship. That is something you have to accomplish together. 2. Clinging Clinging is clearly another manifestation of the fear of loss. It is the weaker brother of jealousy and manifests itself through different ways, seemingly through repeated reassurances of love. You are convinced that you don't deserve your partner and cling to them verbally or literally.
[00:03:54] This is often very overwhelming and will make the partner feel trapped. Persons coming from a fresh, difficult breakup or divorce very often tend to cling in their new relationships. 3. Lack of Respect and Inattentiveness Every fulfilling relationship is based on mutual respect. Without respect, there will be conflicts or even abuse. Inattentiveness is a slow process, which can manifest after years in a relationship.
[00:04:22] This is taking the partner for granted, not making any efforts to maintain the relationship. 4. Wrong Ideas of a Relationship What do you expect from a relationship? From your partner? Do you want to fulfill your childhood dream of the prince riding on the white horse, who will make all your problems go away at once? Do you believe that a relationship is always the endless love of which songs and poems are singing about? Everything will work out on its own, if only you love enough.
[00:04:53] If you believe all of this, then your relationships will fail. To know that you have to work in your relationship every day for your happiness is the key to success. 5. Having Too High Expectations Having too high expectations of a relationship right from the start will cause many problems. Not every man or woman is the love of your life, and not every relationship is meant to be. Know exactly what you're looking for in a partner, but don't set the bar too high.
[00:05:22] Unrealistic expectations will eventually lead to self-induced discontent. 6. Losing Communication Losing communication in a relationship is a silent killer. You only detect it when it's almost too late. This is especially a problem in long-term relationships of many years. There are many ways to fight this. If you have nothing to talk about, then the solution is, of course, to create new mutual interests you could have a discussion about.
[00:05:50] If you don't have the time for long conversations, then set a fixed day in the week with one hour, where you really talk with each other. And don't forget to turn off the TV. Communication is the key. 7. Lost in Routine Ever been in a relationship where everything starts to get boring because it's always the same? The same talk, the same places you go, even the intimacy is always the same? Well, the solution for this is obvious. Break free.
[00:06:19] Create new opportunities. Go to different places. Meet new people. Try something crazy together. The possibilities are endless. You just have to do it together. Quote, Anything different is good, as Bill Murray said in Groundhog Day. Conclusion The knowledge of the most common relationship-killing mistakes allows you to constantly question your behavior and do your best to avoid them, whether you come from a divorce or live in a happy relationship.
[00:06:48] Furthermore, you are now able to spot the potential causes of occurring conflicts and resolve them. This will bring you a step closer to that happy, fulfilling relationship you dream about. And for that, I wish you all the best. You just listened to the post titled, The Seven Deadly Sins in a Relationship, by Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary. Okay, and a great one from Eddie today.
[00:07:18] I think that feeling he described at the beginning, that fear about your next relationship turning out the same, is something very real and relatable to anyone who's had more than one relationship. But rest assured, we're always going to make mistakes in our relationships. Even the most long-lasting and triumphant relationships can easily fall into periods in which these deadly sins that we heard today are present. So trust that, whether you're recently out of a relationship,
[00:07:47] or been single for a while, happily or unhappily committed to someone, there is something you can be learning to improve upon right now. And try to find what that is, even if it's just one thing. Because the more pressure you put on yourself to find and erase every possible threat there could be to the future of your love life, and just cling so desperately to this idea of not repeating past mistakes, the more distant relational peace will be for you. But that's going to do it for today, everybody.
[00:08:16] Thanks a bunch for being here, especially over the weekend. I hope you're having a great day so far. And be sure to stop in and join us again tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.