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Episode 3158:
Jon Beaty shares Dr. John Gottman's three-part formula for effective complaining: state how you feel, describe a very specific situation, then name a positive need. He explains the difference between a complaint and a criticism, why criticism opens the door to contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, and how repair attempts and a little humor keep unresolved issues from taking over. It is practical marriage advice for couples who will always have something to complain about.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/a-couples-guide-to-complaining/
Quotes to ponder:
"Effective complaints begin with a soft start-up, and are best launched by stating how you feel."
"Unchecked criticism leads to contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling."
"Couples who are satisfied with their relationships don't lack things to complain about."
Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day.
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