3177: The Best Way to Keep Your Family Happy by Adina Soclof of Parenting Simply on Positive Parenting

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[00:00:53] Our family just spent a lot of time together over the spring holidays. We had lots of good times, and some not so good times. We all took turns being in a bad mood. After 15 years of motherhood, it's still hard to admit that even adults, that includes me, get cranky and whiny. I used to get very upset when things were not always running smoothly and everyone was not on their best behavior.

[00:01:16] I finally came to the realization that family life is like a winding country road, sometimes evened in flat, and other times quite bumpy and hilly. The instances where everyone is level-headed and satisfied should be cherished as a gift. The bad moods are annoying, but normal, and usually need to be dealt with at some point every day.

[00:01:38] It's not easy to remain calm, cool, and detached when you're watching your toddler tantrum, your teen slam doors, and your spouse getting snippy. Unfortunately, bad moods can be contagious. Negativity breeds negativity. It helps if our bad moods and the bad moods of others are navigated with respect, empathy, and acceptance. Here are five ways to help you keep your family happy. 1. Cut Yourself Some Slack

[00:02:05] Low states and feeling blue are an annoying but intrinsic part of life. When we are feeling blah, where we see others acting poorly, we tend to blow things out of proportion. We can become critical of ourselves and our family members. The best way to manage our bad moods and the bad moods of others is to accept them at face value and acknowledge them without any judgments. 2. Criticizing Why do I always get so upset about everything? I'm such a party pooper.

[00:02:35] Why is she always whining about everything? She's so spoiled. Accept the low state and be kind to yourself and others. Seems like I'm having a rough day. I'm in a low state. Nothing to worry about. I'll come around soon enough. She's having a rough day today. She usually doesn't act like this. Once she pulls herself together, she'll get back to her cheery self. 2. Be kind to others Bad moods can also taint our perceptions of our kids and our spouses.

[00:03:05] Behavior that was considered normal one day may seem contentious and irksome when one is feeling down. Resentment can fester and the blame game starts. If we recognize that our bad mood is the cause of the negativity, we can avoid conflict. Blaming others Why do you kids have to complain about everything? You're so annoying and rude. 2. Recognizing the low state I must be in a really bad mood. Everything they do or say is bothering me.

[00:03:33] Even the things that they do regularly that I usually don't notice. 3. Talk about yourself Families who have healthy communication and coping skills will manage the rough spots more effectively. It's helpful for parents to learn ways to deal with the frustrations of everyday life with kids so that they can act as role models. Children learn best by observing their parents' behavior. If parents are calmer and less prone to bad moods, children will naturally follow suit.

[00:04:00] In my classes, I teach parents to use one of the most helpful, productive, and effective communication tools. The I statement. Every member of the family can use this handy skill. Instead of accusing, you're acting like a baby with all this crying and yelling. Speak about your feelings. I'm getting frustrated with all this fighting. I'm having trouble holding on to my patients with all the loud fighting going on around me. Children can also be taught to use the I statements.

[00:04:30] Instead of accusing, you are so stupid, teach them to speak about themselves. I get upset when you tease me about my questions. I don't like it when you touch my stuff without permission. 3. Don't do anything Many health professionals recommend postponing any important decisions until good humor is restored. Discussions of a serious nature should be avoided as well, until everyone is feeling happy. It's fair for family members to say to one another,

[00:04:59] I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I need to let you know later if I can chaperone for your school trip. I'm not in the best of moods. Can we have this discussion another time? 4. Take a breather When emotions are running high, it's the time for everyone to take a break from each other. When members of your family are not getting along, gently encourage them to find a quiet place to recharge. Parents can do this by role modeling. Boy, am I in a bad mood.

[00:05:27] I need a couple of minutes of quiet to pull myself out of this funk. I'll be in my room if you need me. You just listened to the post titled, The Best Way to Keep Your Family Happy by Adina Soclof of ParentingSimply.com Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour,

[00:05:55] hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, built just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at Coach.com. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins, Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self.

[00:06:24] What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. And this was an awesome post from Adina today, as per usual. I really love her constant use of examples for how we can talk to our children. It makes retaining her lessons so much easier, at least to me. Now, I want to talk about one of her thoughts today, as I found it to be really relevant, not just to family life, but to everyday life. And that is the idea of accepting the low states. This is so important on a familial scale,

[00:06:54] on a personal scale, and on a global scale. And we tend to forget that disaster striking on any scale is not an exception, but it's the norm. Sure, we may do our best to prevent it, but low periods, even if they come with unbelievable horror, are part of our own journey and the journey of the world. No, we do not have to like them. No, we do not have to stand by, let them happen, and try to delegitimize them.

[00:07:21] But we can prepare ourselves for them. We can count on them coming sometimes, and just get better at sitting with that reality when times are good. This keeps us more grounded and less attached during the good times, but also more balanced and aware in the bad times. Definitely something we can all take time to reflect on more. And to me, it helps us be better agents of change during the bad times when we're not so overwhelmed by them, if that makes sense.

[00:07:51] That's it for me though, everybody. I thank you so much for being here with me once again. I always love our time together, and be sure to come on back and do the same thing tomorrow, where I will have another post for you, and where your optimal life awaits. I will have another post. .