3178: Become the Woman that No Man Can Ever Leave by Evan Marc Katz on Lasting Love

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[00:00:51] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Become the woman that no man can ever leave. By Evan Mark Katz of EvanMarkKatz.com I'm still buzzing from the email that I got from my former client, Michelle. And let me say that Michelle is one of my favorite clients ever. Always good-humored, always confident, always present, and most importantly, always coachable, Michelle saw instant results in working with me.

[00:01:19] She attracted a man who was different than her previous boyfriends, and that's exactly what she needed. After all, Michelle will be the first to tell you that she's a bit of a handful. And after dominating and losing respect for her last guy, she craved the attention of a man who was a little more alpha. She got him, and she got all the problems that come with being with such a man. She couldn't tell him what to do. She couldn't make him say that he loved her fast enough.

[00:01:47] She couldn't ensure that he wanted to stick around for the future. Although Mark treated her great, he was still very much a man. Early 50s, successful, busy, a divorced father of a teenage son. He felt very fortunate to have landed a 33-year-old stunner like Michelle. All of the stories that Michelle told me reiterated how much he valued her, and she was in a great comfort zone with Mark.

[00:02:12] He treated her well, he told her he loved her, he put up with her self-proclaimed brattiness, and he alluded to a future together. But all relationships have their challenges, and Mark and Michelle were no different. The elephant in the room for this couple was that Michelle very much wants to have kids, while Mark never really anticipated that he'd be a father again in his 50s. While I was coaching Michelle through the first four months of their relationship, and intermittently in between,

[00:02:42] I cautioned her to not put any pressure on him about getting married and having kids. While theoretically she could be wasting her time with him, my advice was to let him fall in love with her. If he did, she would have a lot more leverage when the baby talk came up, as opposed to trying to extract an answer out of him in the early stages of the relationship. This worked like a charm, because really it was no secret that Michelle wanted to be a mom.

[00:03:09] And since Mark was a man of integrity, he wanted to do right by his girlfriend. He agreed, last July, to be the future father of her children. Then he changed his mind a few months later. No matter how much he loved Michelle, Mark just couldn't pull the trigger on a second round of fatherhood, and they tearfully parted ways. I was sad for Michelle, but very proud at how she handled herself.

[00:03:34] Despite her high-maintenance tendencies, she became better at understanding Mark's needs and point of view, and created the healthiest relationship that she'd ever had before. Every time she wanted to criticize him for how he handled his relationship with his son, or his ex-wife, or his boss, she remembered that men don't stay with women who treat them as incomplete projects. They bond with women who make them feel good. Most importantly, from our work together,

[00:04:02] Michelle knew that her future husband wants to be a dad, and thus, she had no regrets about walking away when she did. That was the last I'd heard from Michelle. Until today. Turns out that her breakup only lasted for one week. Mark loved Michelle. Her playfulness, her sexiness, and yes, even her attitude and mood swings. After spending a year and a half together, Mark realized that he couldn't imagine life without her, which is as it should be.

[00:04:31] And while I give Michelle credit for becoming the woman that no man can ever leave, Michelle actually gives me credit. Here's a snippet of her note to me. I asked him why he had a change of heart, and finally came to this conclusion. He said because he's in love with me. I can't tell you what this has done for me in this relationship. I feel so relieved and at ease with it all. Evan, you taught me to be playful, lighthearted, patient, kind, and compassionate.

[00:05:01] You're an amazing, the best, dating coach. Thank you. Love, Michelle. I love Michelle, and I love this story. A confident, successful, attractive woman in her mid-30s finds a masculine, confident man, wins him over with her feminine energy, and makes herself so indispensable to his life that he can't imagine being without her. I'm attending their wedding this summer in San Francisco, and I couldn't be more excited for the both of them.

[00:05:29] Know that this is within your grasp, and that true love will find you sooner rather than later, as long as you prioritize your love life like Michelle did. You just listened to the post titled Become the woman that no man can ever leave by Evan Mark Katz of EvanMarkKatz.com and be sure to stick around for my comments coming right after this.

[00:06:16] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR, or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR, and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily. And thanks to Evan for sharing this post today.

[00:06:45] It was a nice story that he offered about Michelle. Though I do hope that the takeaway everyone had is that while it's great to make these efforts to be such a desirable partner, we shouldn't stop doing so, even if someone does leave us anyway. You know, there are a number of reasons that a good couple might split up and not get back together, in spite of the happy ending we heard here today. However, that doesn't mean that the work is for naught.

[00:07:11] We're all here to become better partners, and that's all we can control. We can't control the outcomes because we can't control other people. And it's important that we remember that amidst our journeys to become the best we can for our loved ones. If we don't keep this top of mind, and we mistakenly maintain a more transactional mindset, we're setting ourselves up for failure. But that's going to do it for today, everybody. Thank you, as always, for tuning in and making this episode possible, especially over the weekend.

[00:07:42] Have a great rest of your day, and be sure to join us again tomorrow for both our regularly scheduled episode as well as our weekly bonus episode. That's where your optimal life awaits.