3185: How to Fit Self Care into Your Day by Cara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom on Maternal Wellness

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[00:01:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Fit Self-Care into Your Day by Kara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom.com. What is self-care for moms? The term self-care has most definitely become a buzzword recently. And while it sounds like it's mostly spa days and taking naps, self-care is so much more. Self-care means realizing that you need to fill up your cup or you're no good to those who need you. Self-care is taking time for self-care.

[00:01:30] Self-love and being proud of yourself for doing so. Self-care is doing the things that make you feel less stressed, set yourself up for success, and live a more enjoyable life. But the thing is, most moms don't spend much time with self-care. Why moms don't do self-care? One of the top reasons that the moms I work with don't spend time on themselves is that they feel they're too busy to do so.

[00:01:55] I mean, here's the thing. We're all pretty dang busy. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything we need to get done, and life can get pretty crazy. But that doesn't mean we should neglect ourselves. I make sure to take time daily for tiny forms of self-care, from reading for 10 minutes to exercising to simply decompressing with a cup of tea at the end of the night. You don't need to take a weekend to go to a quiet retreat, though it would be nice, to do self-care.

[00:02:24] And so often as moms, if we can't do things perfectly, we don't do them at all. We find time to do the things that are priorities to us. The things that we think are important are the ones that get done during the day. And self-care, like anything else, isn't about having the time. It's about making the time. You need to prioritize you. Find pockets, schedule dates with yourselves, and make yourself a priority.

[00:02:51] The second reason I hear from moms for not doing self-care, and the one that honestly can trip me up too, is mom guilt. Which, if you struggle with this, head over right now and get the book Mom Set Free. It is life-changing. Ugh, the dreaded mom guilt. I have it a few times a day, and it often rears its ugly head when I'm about to do something that I want to do. It's that voice that always just pops up when I'm about to take 60 minutes to get work done in the office while my mother-in-law stays with the kids.

[00:03:20] The one that tells me to take a quick shower. And the voice that makes me feel bad that I let my kids watch an episode of Daniel Tiger while I work out. But mamas, we gotta shut that dang voice up. We deserve to take some time during the day to center ourselves and do what makes us happy. So often, moms lose themselves in being mom, and eventually can get grumpy, bitter, and unhappy. It's so important that we take time for us, because we set the mood for our homes.

[00:03:49] How many times have you snapped or been in a bad mood, and all of a sudden you can see everyone else's shoulders lower just a little bit? Have you ever been cranky and can feel everyone else get cranky too? As mom, it's up to us to set the tone and mood for our homes. And when we feel good, confident, and happy, that radiates to our family. It is also up to us to be the example for our children.

[00:04:15] If all your children see is a mom who takes on everything, never gets help, takes breaks, and is stressed out, then that is the image of mom that gets ingrained in their brains. That might be the type of mom they are when they get older, or the way that they treat their future wife. Decide to change the tone in your home. Decide that you matter enough for some me time. And decide that it's time to prioritize you. Now, how the heck do you do that?

[00:04:43] What is self-care? Self-care comes in many forms and can look differently for every person. Like I mentioned above, it can totally be a massage or a trip to the spa, but it can also be as simple as a phone call with a friend that fuels your soul. Why schedule self-care? Self-care doesn't need to be complicated, but it does need to be scheduled. If I don't create routines around my self-care, such as daily exercise, reading, or even when I'll shower,

[00:05:13] it won't happen. If I don't text a friend and actually put a date on the calendar for a coffee date, we won't see each other for six months or longer. It's just the way life and human behavior is. My suggestion is to make sure you put in your planner one thing you can do each day that fuels you. If you check out the above list, you can certainly find something that takes 15 minutes or less just to feel like you again.

[00:05:38] The most common form of self-care in my home is listening to worship music and singing. All day long we have worship going on our Echo Dot, and if I notice I'm a little snippy, I can typically pinpoint it to the fact that our music is off. Once a month, schedule out a self-care habit that is 30 minutes or longer. Let your spouse know you're taking some time to do whatever it is and enjoy. Let go of the guilt. Go to Groupon and find something you want to do. And just be you again.

[00:06:07] It'll make you a better and more cheerful mom. And bring much more fun into your life. And I know what you're saying. Well, that's nice for you, but I can't take a long bubble bath every day. Well, neither can I. And on those days, I say some affirmations or make sure to enjoy my end-of-day tea and realize that it's just the season I'm in. But I'll tell you what. I have never regretted treating myself well. I have never regretted doing something that I know will make me happier for myself,

[00:06:36] my family, and my kids. And when I do take care of myself, I'm reminded of how valuable and loved I am. And guess what? So are you. So grab a positive podcast. Stare at some clouds or spend some time planning your meals for the next week so that you have less stress in the next few days. They are all important forms of self-care. And you deserve it. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:05] How to Fit Self-Care Into Your Day by Kara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom dot com. Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana 100% online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you. Your car is here, Mr. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr. Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall, and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10 once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do.

[00:07:34] No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana dot com. New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers.

[00:08:03] Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want online only at HomeDepot.com. And thank you, Kara, not only for the wise words, but also for what I can only assume was a shout-out to us with that whole positive podcast comment. But really, though, very, very interesting stuff about the example we set for our children specifically when we overwork ourselves and don't take time for self-care.

[00:08:30] Really important to note that the way we treat ourselves and what our children see from us definitely plays a part in how they see both themselves as individuals, but also how they might be inclined to see others or to gender stereotype others. It's a great, great call. So, if self-care ever feels irresponsible somehow, as it seems more for you than the kids, just remember how beneficial it really is to both. That is it, though, for now.

[00:08:56] I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and please do remember to schedule in some all-important time for self-care. I will see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits. I will see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.