3206: [Part 1] Reclaiming Our Stories From Trauma by Jenny TeGrotenhuis with Gottman on People Pleasing

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) - Free.

Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home.

Get your free PDF workbook here: https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com

Episode 3206:

In part one, Jenny TeGrotenhuis explains how past trauma can switch the nervous system from a pattern of connection to a pattern of protection, often in subtle ways that feel like personality. Through the story of a wife who over-gives to her husband and then resents him for not appreciating it, she shows how old scripts drive behavior that backfires, because a partner cannot connect with a defense. It is a compassionate look at how healing old wounds makes room for healthier relationships and a closer marriage.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/reclaiming-our-stories-from-trauma/

Quotes to ponder:

"Trauma can hi-jack your nervous system and switch you from a pattern of connection to a pattern of protection."

"The reason this is so painful is that Pat can't have a relationship with a role or a performance."

"The thing about defenses is that while they protected us from threats in the past, they hinder us from genuine connection in the present, when no real threat exists."

Optimal Relationships Daily is a daily relationship advice podcast where we narrate the best articles on healthy relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting, read to you by a professional narrator so you can strengthen your closest connections a little more every day.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices