1415: Teaching Persistence Without Overdoing the Pain by Brian Molina of Aubrey Daniels

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Work Daily, Episode 1415, Teaching Persistence Without Overdoing the Pain by Brian Molina of AubreyDaniels.com.

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And I am Dan, I'm your host here and I'm with you every single day reading from great blogs on work, business, and entrepreneurship.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And with that, we're going to get right into our post as we optimize your life.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Teaching Persistence Without Overdoing the Pain by Brian Molina of AubreyDaniels.com.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: A headline about Nvidia CEO Jensen Wong wishing pain and suffering upon Stanford students caught my attention recently.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I took the bait and clicked to find out what he might be getting at.

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently, it's his thing.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: He wishes pain and suffering to his audiences and employees with the hope that it will help them develop grit.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: He said, quote, The ability to endure pain and suffering is called grit.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: It is now recognized as one of the most important characteristics of successful people. End quote.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Wong remarked that since he doesn't know how to teach grit, he wishes ample pain and suffering upon others so that they may become grittier.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It's an attention grabbing and provocative message.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And for me, it begs two questions.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: First, what benefits does grit bring to the workplace?

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And second, how can leaders proactively cultivate grit in their areas of influence?

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Benefits of grit in the workplace.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I can see why grittiness or resilience in the workplace is on Wong's radar.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: There's evidence that grittier employees demonstrate increased engagement, higher skill levels and better performance across varied professions.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Grit has also been associated with lower rates of burnout in health care workers and better physical and mental health.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00]: For organizations, this translates to healthier people and better results.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: The connection between experiencing hardship and becoming a success is deeply embedded within our culture.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Rags to riches narratives often highlight hardship as an indispensable ingredient, and for many it seems like common sense.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: The sentiment is reflected in familiar sayings such as,

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: No pain no gain, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and the strongest steel is forged in the hottest fire.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Leaders would be well served to remember however that just because hardship can breed resilience doesn't mean that it does so reliably, quickly or without significant costs.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: We tend to remember the stories of those who endured and triumphed because they are truly exceptional, but painful conditions don't always lead to triumph.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: A more likely outcome of prolonged stress, particularly at work, is burnout.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: A Deloitte survey found 77% of respondents indicated they had experienced burnout at their current job and that it negatively impacts the quality of their work and relationships.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It's critical that leaders learn to strike a balance between ensuring that employees are challenged and engaged without experiencing the damaging side effects of chronic stress.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: We're all bound to naturally experience some level of hardship in our lives without our bosses wishing or dishing us more.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Leaders can use the following tips to help their employees shine under pressure while mitigating the risk of burnout.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Tip number one, define grit in your own role.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Up to this point we've been talking about grit vaguely.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: We may each have a sense of what it means based on our own experiences and interpretations of the word.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: In everyday speech it's convenient to speak in fuzzy terms and assume listeners get the gist.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: When it comes to proactively managing behavior however, a much more specific approach is needed.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: In academic circles, grit refers to the disposition to pursue long-term goals with both passion and perseverance.

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00]: So what does that look like on the job?

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: A good place to start is pinpointing what that looks like in your own role.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself, what is it that I do or say that shows I'm passionate and persistent about achieving long-term goals?

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_00]: These can be things you already do or things that you could start to do more often.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: In one interview, Wong pinpoints a few of his own actions as a leader that enable him to stay the course under pressure,

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: including taking time each morning to prioritize the day's tasks,

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00]: checking into his values,

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: acknowledging the good within the company, its processes and fundamentals,

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: soliciting ideas, opinions and feedback from direct reports,

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: and providing resources, support and removing barriers for those doing the work.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Once you have a solid handle on the specific leader behaviors that roll up into the label grit,

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: make it a point to demonstrate these to your team.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Employees take cues from leadership, so it's important to walk the talk.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: This doesn't mean reciting a list of your own gritty behaviors or tooting your own horn.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, intentionally take opportunities to weave examples into everyday conversations with your team.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: For example, reference values, company or personal, often,

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: and make it clear how those values impact your decision-making.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of only privately acknowledging the good within the company,

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_00]: speak to specific examples often.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Tip number three, identify and prompt employee behaviors you want.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: After defining and demonstrating grit in your own role as a leader,

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: define and encourage gritty behaviors within your team.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Again, resist the ever-tempting pull to speak vaguely about the actions you want more or less of.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Terms like be a better critical thinker, or care more about our customer's service

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: don't clearly signal what success looks like,

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: and pinpoint what you'd expect to see or hear if that person did begin to improve.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Becoming a better critical thinker might look, in part,

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: like an employee reflecting upon the conclusion of a major project

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: to identify areas of improvement, and applying those insights to future projects.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Caring more about customer service might be demonstrated by responding quickly to customer concerns

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: and exploring all options to satisfy their needs and maintain a strong working relationship.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Once you have a list of a few specific behaviors that you'd like to see more of, prompt them.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: This doesn't necessarily need to be a long conversation or something that you hold onto until an annual review.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: The key factors here are specificity and timing.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Make sure that it's clear to the performer what behavior or behaviors you're looking for

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: and the context or conditions under which the behavior should be performed.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Also, try to deliver the prompt right before the employee has an opportunity to try out the new behavior.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: A conversation from the day before will be much fresher,

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_00]: and thus more likely to influence behavior, than the memory of a one-to-one months ago.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And tip number four.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Arrange ongoing support for the behaviors you want.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_00]: As soon as you notice a positive shift in behavior, it's important to recognize and reinforce those improvements.

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_00]: In its simplest form, this could be your own praise and recognition.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Remember to speak to the behavior change in specific terms,

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: just as you did when you prompted the behavior initially.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: This recognition will make it more likely that they'll repeat the desired behavior

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_00]: or give it another try if the first attempt didn't fully hit the mark.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Recall that grit is characterized in part by the pursuit of long-term goals.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: As employees continue to incrementally improve,

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: it may be a while before they experience the natural benefits of the behaviors that they're working on.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00]: For instance, receiving a promotion, goal attainment, or customer impact.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: As a leader, you can bridge this gap by helping them recognize early indicators of success

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: before the larger prize over the horizon.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00]: For example, sales coaches know that the ultimate accomplishment of closing a deal or earning a commission

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: may not be enough to motivate the right behaviors day-to-day.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, they coach sales reps to focus on shorter-term leading indicators

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: such as positive initial responses, requests for proposals or quotes,

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: or detailed questions about the product or service.

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Helping an employee to recognize and interpret early indicators of success in their own work boosts resilience.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00]: It also decreases their reliance on rewards delivered by leaders or the organization.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: The bottom line.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: There are tangible benefits to having a gritty workforce.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: While it may not be obvious how to teach grit,

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: leaders can do more than hope that employees encounter hardship and find their way.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Becoming gritty is less about experiencing hardship

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00]: and more about the effective behaviors people pick up and support that they receive along the way.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Challenging while also supporting employees may be a delicate balance to strike,

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: but it's well worth putting in the intentional effort.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: While the specifics of your approach should be customized to the individual,

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: leaders can begin by positioning themselves as coaches who model, define, encourage,

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: and support critical behaviors that will enable people and the organization to succeed.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Teaching Persistence Without Overdoing the Pain

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_00]: by Brian Molina of AubreyDaniels.com

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_00]: We all have non-negotiables.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you never skip leg day or have to take your morning walks,

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: but when your schedule is packed with kids' activities, big work projects, and more,

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_00]: it's easy to let your priorities slip.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Therapy can help you reclaim control of your time and values.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And make no mistake, therapy is for everyone.

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[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: therapy can be a great tool for setting boundaries,

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: learning positive coping skills, and ultimately becoming the best version of yourself.

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[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash work daily.

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you so much to Brian for sharing this post today.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00]: He is a contributor to Aubrey Daniels' site and a little bit more about him.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Brian's been in the field of behavioral science for eight years now.

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_00]: He has helped organizations improve their operations and service delivery

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_00]: by assessing performance and implementing learning and performance solutions

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_00]: to drive desired outcomes.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: He has broad experience partnering with business, nonprofit, and public sector entities.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And as for Aubrey who runs this site, Aubrey is a thought leader

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and expert on management, leadership, safety, and workplace issues.

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: For the past 40 years, he's been dedicated to helping people and organizations

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: apply the laws of human behavior to optimize performance.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: His company, Aubrey Daniels International,

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: provides leadership development expertise and behavioral technology

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_00]: to improve your business and its culture.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Regardless of your organization's industry,

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_00]: improving your business performance requires your employees to do some things more often,

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00]: some less often, and some differently.

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_00]: ADI's mission is to support you in accomplishing that goal quickly and efficiently.

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: So they help you optimize your company's business metrics,

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00]: work culture, and safety performance through positive, practical approaches

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: that are grounded in the science of behavior

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and engineered to ensure long-term stability.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And you can learn much more about all this at AubreyDaniels dot com.

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So that's it for another edition of Optimal Work Daily.

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate you being here with me as always,

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll see you once again tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.