1474: Too Much Work? What To Say When You're Asked To Do More by Stella Grizont of Woopaah on Productivity

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[00:00:26] This is optimal work daily. Too much work?

[00:00:29] What To Say When You're Asked To Do More by Stella Grizont of Woopaah.com

[00:00:36] Perhaps you can relate to a client of mine who recently got f***ed off from an unreasonable workload.

[00:00:42] She said to me,

[00:00:43] Stella, I need a way to keep my emotions at home. I need a better poker face.

[00:00:47] Her emotions aren't the problem.

[00:00:49] My client had received feedback from her VP that when she's unhappy, the whole office knows it.

[00:00:55] When she's engaged, she's a star. But when she's not, everyone knows that she's unhappy.

[00:01:00] Based on my recent newsletter, you know that moods are contagious.

[00:01:04] However, the point of my sharing the research about how emotions are infectious is not to encourage you to hide your emotions or to keep them at bay.

[00:01:12] In fact, after breaking down scene by scene what happened in my client's experience, we discovered that it's actually her hiding that causes the negative reverberations that everyone else is feeling.

[00:01:23] I asked for a play-by-play of what happens when she's oozing her negative energy.

[00:01:28] She told me that when she's in her cubicle, usually on a call, someone will ask her to add another project to her plate even though she's currently handling twice the amount of projects she should without an assistant.

[00:01:39] I'd say that's definitely cause to be frustrated.

[00:01:42] When this happens, she says that everyone else, including those on the phone, can sense that she's f***ed off.

[00:01:48] How might they know that?

[00:01:49] She told me, well, I'm usually sighing.

[00:01:53] I cross my arms, roll my eyes, and it's in my tone.

[00:01:57] Aha!

[00:01:58] I said, Jane, holding back your emotions is backfiring.

[00:02:02] The reason you're experiencing those emotions in the first place is because they're signaling something.

[00:02:07] That's what emotions do.

[00:02:08] They signal.

[00:02:09] And you're trying to ignore the data they're sending your way, which is, attention, attention, taking on another project may not be ideal.

[00:02:16] Ignoring the data and accepting conditions that don't support your doing your job well, that all makes you feel powerless.

[00:02:23] And when you feel powerless, well, that just adds more fuel to the fire.

[00:02:27] Rather than trying to hide your emotions, you should embrace the data they're sending your way and express your truth.

[00:02:33] Actually lean into the emotions to help you ask for what you need.

[00:02:36] Here's a sample script of what to say when you get f***ed off for getting too much work.

[00:02:42] 1.

[00:02:43] Acknowledge how the project is important and how you really want to help.

[00:02:46] This helps people feel seen.

[00:02:48] Be authentic.

[00:02:50] Say things like this.

[00:02:51] Guys, I can see how this project is vital to your kicking butt at the conference.

[00:02:55] I'd love to tackle it.

[00:02:57] I'm dedicated to helping you deliver and represent our company.

[00:03:00] I know that you're counting on me.

[00:03:02] 2.

[00:03:02] State the facts.

[00:03:04] Describe what you have going on without complaining.

[00:03:07] Example.

[00:03:08] Let me describe what I have going on so you can assess whether I'm the right one for this job.

[00:03:12] I'm currently managing 15 projects, which is 7 more than I'm scoped to do.

[00:03:17] Two of these projects are for Bob, the VP of Sales, and Sally, the CEO.

[00:03:22] They also are due when you want me to deliver your project.

[00:03:25] Unfortunately, I have no support staff now.

[00:03:28] Three, what are the consequences if you say yes?

[00:03:32] Try something like this.

[00:03:34] If I have to say yes right now, it means that something has to give.

[00:03:37] I'm going to have to compromise something else I'm working on or deliver it in a manner

[00:03:42] that doesn't meet my standards of excellence.

[00:03:44] It also means that I have to break my commitments to Bob and Sally.

[00:03:48] Four, restate your commitment and your dedication to doing great work

[00:03:52] and explain why things may take as long as they do.

[00:03:55] Let me help you understand the behind the scenes of doing this well.

[00:03:59] I'm committed to providing high quality work, which means the following steps have to happen.

[00:04:04] First, this. Then, that.

[00:04:07] Five, ask them to help you figure out a solution.

[00:04:10] Describe your willingness to be creative and support them, but ask them to help you think it through.

[00:04:15] If they don't, you just have to say no.

[00:04:18] Try saying it like this.

[00:04:19] So, given these circumstances, help me figure out how I can make you happy.

[00:04:24] I'm open to hearing your ideas on how else we can make this work.

[00:04:27] Perhaps we assign it to Angela, or we can speak to my VP about getting some additional staff.

[00:04:33] Notice the difference between stuffing your emotions down, which results in passive-aggressive sighs,

[00:04:38] and expressing your needs.

[00:04:40] A lot of times, we forget we have more control and choice than we think.

[00:04:44] This immediately cuts the tension for several reasons.

[00:04:47] One, you're not ignoring your emotions.

[00:04:49] I always say that emotions are like children.

[00:04:51] The more you ignore them, the louder they get.

[00:04:54] And two, you're enrolling others in helping you resolve your situation from an authentic stance,

[00:04:59] rather than a manipulative or passive-aggressive position.

[00:05:02] Don't ignore the emotion.

[00:05:04] Let it guide you in evaluating what you need and speaking truthfully.

[00:05:07] If you aren't able to do this in the moment, which I admit isn't easy,

[00:05:12] try getting yourself into a calm state before making your request.

[00:05:19] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:05:21] Too Much Work? What to Say When You're Asked to Do More?

[00:05:24] by Stella Grisant of WUPA.com

[00:05:28] This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[00:05:30] We're all marveled at how quickly kids learn and that sense of wonderment they have while doing it.

[00:05:35] But as adults, sometimes we lose that curiosity.

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[00:05:41] know that therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder.

[00:05:45] Because your back-to-school era can come at any age.

[00:05:48] And make no mistake, therapy is for everyone.

[00:05:51] Whether or not you've been through significant trauma,

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[00:06:18] Visit betterhelp.com slash workdaily today to get 10% off your first month.

[00:06:23] That's betterhelp.com slash workdaily.

[00:06:29] As a speaker and executive coach, Stella works with overachievers who are seeking deeper career fulfillment,

[00:06:35] and with organizations who are dedicated to elevating the well-being of their employees.

[00:06:40] In the last 12 years, Stella has coached over 1,300 individuals in 17 countries.

[00:06:46] Some of Stella's corporate clients include Google, Johnson & Johnson, and more.

[00:06:50] Her unique approach to being happier and more engaged on the job has been featured on MSNBC,

[00:06:55] The Today Show, ABC, and she regularly contributes to Forbes.

[00:07:00] Stella studied economics at Columbia University and was also one of the first 150 people

[00:07:05] to earn a master's degree in applied positive psychology,

[00:07:09] a.k.a. the science of happiness, from the University of Pennsylvania.

[00:07:13] Her site has some great articles covering personal development, too,

[00:07:16] so she's regularly featured over on Optimal Living Daily,

[00:07:19] and you can check out that podcast for more.

[00:07:21] And come by WUPAH.com, that's spelled W-O-O-P-A-H,

[00:07:27] and I have that linked in this episode's description.

[00:07:30] All right, that'll do it for today.

[00:07:31] I thank you so much for being here,

[00:07:33] and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.