1476: On Designing the Life You Want to Live by Jeff Goins of Goins Writer on Pursuing Your Dreams

[00:00:00] This complex financing talk is very exciting. Do I get my depot ever?

[00:00:06] But you already have a depot.

[00:00:08] No.

[00:00:09] Yes, you have the Vodafone Gigadepot.

[00:00:11] That's right! And I have myself in the hand how big my depot is.

[00:00:15] Now with the Vodafone Gigadepot and the data volume of the next month. Go on in the 5G-Netz of Vodafone.

[00:00:22] Vodafone. Together we can.

[00:00:31] By Jeff Goins of GoinsWriter.com

[00:00:35] What's happened to you is rare, my friend Mark told me over the phone one December afternoon.

[00:00:41] It was late in the day but the weather was still warm, which isn't uncommon for Nashville that time of year.

[00:00:46] I was on one of my walks talking to an elder who had mentored me through some of life's toughest moments.

[00:00:52] This was an important decision.

[00:00:54] I was about to decide whether or not I would become a full-time writer.

[00:00:59] Before You Step Off a Cliff

[00:01:01] At first, Mark thought he needed to talk me off a ledge.

[00:01:05] You know, he said, there are times in life when you need to pursue money and times when you don't.

[00:01:10] I remember working four jobs at one point just to make ends meet.

[00:01:14] I guess, I said.

[00:01:15] I'm worried about greed.

[00:01:17] The past year had been a blur.

[00:01:19] I'd self-published an e-book, traditionally published a trade paperback book,

[00:01:24] sold tens of thousands of copies, launched an online course teaching other writers,

[00:01:29] and tripled my income.

[00:01:31] Oh yeah, and my wife and I had our first kid.

[00:01:33] It had been a crazy year and I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

[00:01:37] All my friends were telling me to quit my marketing job at a non-profit.

[00:01:41] But I wasn't sure.

[00:01:42] That's why I was talking to Mark.

[00:01:44] I don't know, Jeff, my 50-something friend told me.

[00:01:47] You need to be careful with money.

[00:01:49] It can grab a hold of you and not let go.

[00:01:50] I wouldn't do it for the money.

[00:01:53] We were talking about quitting my job.

[00:01:55] We were talking about chasing my dream.

[00:01:57] We were talking about change, and it was terrifying.

[00:02:01] Well, it's not about that, I said out loud for the first time.

[00:02:04] I mean, I like my job, but I don't know.

[00:02:07] The passion is there.

[00:02:08] The money is there.

[00:02:09] The family support is there.

[00:02:11] I breathed deep into the phone as I began to walk up a hill,

[00:02:14] rounding the first revolution of my block.

[00:02:17] Hang on, Mark said.

[00:02:18] You know, I thought we were talking about one thing,

[00:02:21] but now I realized it's something else.

[00:02:23] Look, what's happened to you is rare.

[00:02:25] Nobody saw it coming.

[00:02:27] I know you, and I didn't see it coming.

[00:02:29] You need to consider the possibility that not doing this

[00:02:32] might be an act of disobedience to God.

[00:02:34] This might be your calling.

[00:02:36] I hadn't considered that.

[00:02:38] The whole time, I had been focused on what I might lose

[00:02:41] if I chased my dream,

[00:02:42] if I pursued my passion for writing and quit my job.

[00:02:45] Would my boss be disappointed in me?

[00:02:47] Would I fail?

[00:02:49] Was all the success so far just dumb luck

[00:02:51] that would eventually wear out?

[00:02:53] I never considered what might not happen,

[00:02:55] what I might lose,

[00:02:56] if I didn't at least try.

[00:02:59] Making the leap.

[00:03:01] Three weeks later,

[00:03:02] I met my boss, Seth, in Atlanta

[00:03:04] and told him it was time for me to move on.

[00:03:06] My only hesitation, I told him,

[00:03:09] was the fear that I might disappoint him.

[00:03:11] I'm not disappointed, he said.

[00:03:13] I'm proud.

[00:03:14] I've been waiting for this conversation.

[00:03:15] I think it's time.

[00:03:17] Three months later,

[00:03:18] I left my position

[00:03:19] and began a whole new career

[00:03:20] that I never could have imagined

[00:03:22] only a few years before.

[00:03:24] Since then,

[00:03:24] I've taught thousands of students in an online course,

[00:03:27] published four books,

[00:03:29] one of which was a bestseller,

[00:03:30] and spoken to tens of thousands of people.

[00:03:32] My award-winning blog

[00:03:34] is read by millions of people every year.

[00:03:36] Not only is this surreal,

[00:03:38] it's a surprise.

[00:03:40] But I've come to find,

[00:03:41] after talking to hundreds of others,

[00:03:43] who have found their calling,

[00:03:44] discovering your purpose in life often is.

[00:03:47] Listen to your life.

[00:03:49] Author and activist Parker Palmer

[00:03:51] wrote in his fantastic book on vocation,

[00:03:54] Let Your Life Speak,

[00:03:55] quote,

[00:03:56] Before I can tell my life

[00:03:57] what I want to do with it,

[00:03:59] I must listen to my life

[00:04:00] telling me who I am.

[00:04:02] End quote.

[00:04:03] When we consider

[00:04:04] whether we ought to stay at this job

[00:04:06] or stick with this career track

[00:04:08] just a little longer,

[00:04:09] I think we would do well

[00:04:11] to ignore the traditional advice

[00:04:13] of following your passion.

[00:04:15] Passion,

[00:04:15] if you're not careful,

[00:04:16] can get you into serious trouble.

[00:04:18] Not only that,

[00:04:19] it can lead to all kinds of temporary thrills

[00:04:22] that have no long-term satisfaction or success.

[00:04:25] A wiser strategy

[00:04:26] is to heed the counsel of Parker Palmer,

[00:04:28] to listen to your life.

[00:04:30] Look past your current situation

[00:04:32] and whether you like it or not.

[00:04:34] Dig deep into who you really are,

[00:04:36] and then ask yourself,

[00:04:37] is what I'm doing for a living

[00:04:39] a reflection of my identity

[00:04:40] or a distraction from it?

[00:04:42] More dangerous than failure.

[00:04:45] So many of us hide from our true selves

[00:04:47] and settle for what Trappist monk

[00:04:49] Thomas Merton calls the false self.

[00:04:52] This, he says,

[00:04:54] is a shadow of the real thing.

[00:04:56] Like a shadow,

[00:04:57] it may appear authentic,

[00:04:58] even resemble the same shape

[00:05:00] of our true self.

[00:05:01] But in the end,

[00:05:02] it's just a mirage,

[00:05:03] and we are in real danger

[00:05:05] of living through the false self.

[00:05:07] Because after a while,

[00:05:08] Merton says,

[00:05:09] we begin to believe it's the real thing.

[00:05:11] The most dangerous thing you can do

[00:05:13] in this life

[00:05:14] is succeed at the wrong thing,

[00:05:16] to win accolades and affirmations

[00:05:18] of something you know you are not.

[00:05:20] Because when that happens,

[00:05:22] you're stuck.

[00:05:23] What can you do

[00:05:24] but disappoint everyone

[00:05:25] and risk failure

[00:05:26] to become your true self?

[00:05:28] And yet,

[00:05:29] if we find ourselves

[00:05:30] in this situation,

[00:05:31] that is exactly what we must do.

[00:05:37] You just listened to the post titled

[00:05:39] On Designing the Life You Want to Live

[00:05:41] by Jeff Goines

[00:05:43] of GoinesWriter.com

[00:05:44] This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[00:05:47] We're all marveled

[00:05:49] at how quickly kids learn

[00:05:50] and that sense of wonderment

[00:05:52] they have while doing it.

[00:05:53] But as adults,

[00:05:54] sometimes we lose that curiosity.

[00:05:56] Well,

[00:05:57] if there's something

[00:05:57] you've been wanting to learn,

[00:05:59] know that therapy

[00:06:00] can help you reconnect

[00:06:01] with your sense of wonder.

[00:06:02] Because your back-to-school era

[00:06:04] can come at any age.

[00:06:05] And make no mistake,

[00:06:07] therapy is for everyone.

[00:06:09] Whether or not

[00:06:09] you've been through

[00:06:10] significant trauma,

[00:06:11] therapy can be a great tool

[00:06:13] for setting boundaries,

[00:06:14] learning new skills,

[00:06:15] and ultimately becoming

[00:06:16] the best version of yourself.

[00:06:17] If you're thinking

[00:06:18] of starting therapy,

[00:06:19] give BetterHelp a try.

[00:06:21] It's entirely online,

[00:06:22] designed to be convenient,

[00:06:24] flexible,

[00:06:24] and suited to your schedule.

[00:06:26] Just fill out

[00:06:27] a brief questionnaire

[00:06:27] to get matched

[00:06:28] with a licensed therapist

[00:06:29] and switch therapists

[00:06:31] anytime for no additional charge.

[00:06:33] Rediscover your curiosity

[00:06:35] with BetterHelp.

[00:06:36] Visit betterhelp.com

[00:06:37] slash workdaily today

[00:06:39] to get 10% off

[00:06:40] your first month.

[00:06:41] That's betterhelp,

[00:06:42] H-E-L-P dot com

[00:06:44] slash workdaily.

[00:06:46] Thank you to Jeff

[00:06:48] for giving us permission

[00:06:49] to narrate from his blog.

[00:06:51] And please come visit his site,

[00:06:52] which I have linked

[00:06:53] in this episode's description,

[00:06:54] and at oldpodcast.com as well.

[00:06:57] He is a super popular writer,

[00:06:59] the best-selling author

[00:07:00] of five books,

[00:07:01] including The Art of Work

[00:07:02] and Real Artists Don't Starve.

[00:07:05] On his site,

[00:07:06] you can hear his thoughts

[00:07:07] on writing,

[00:07:08] life,

[00:07:08] and creative work,

[00:07:09] so you'll hear him narrated

[00:07:11] across a few of our shows.

[00:07:12] And if you're looking

[00:07:13] to share your work

[00:07:14] but afraid of becoming

[00:07:15] the starving artist,

[00:07:17] his site is for you.

[00:07:18] Lots of great advice there.

[00:07:19] So come check it out

[00:07:20] at goinswriter.com.

[00:07:23] That's G-O-I-N-S

[00:07:24] writer dot com.

[00:07:26] And thanks again to Jeff

[00:07:27] for letting us share

[00:07:27] his work with you.

[00:07:29] Okay, I think that does it

[00:07:30] for today, I will be back

[00:07:31] again tomorrow as usual,

[00:07:33] so I'll see you there

[00:07:34] in the Wednesday show

[00:07:35] where your optimal life awaits.