1575: The Power of Planting Big Dreams AND This 4-Second Mental Reset Will Improve Your Relationship and Business

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Work Daily, The Power of Planting Big Dreams by Benjamin Hardy of BenjaminHardy.com. Before writing the first chapter of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling planned for seven years at Hogwarts. As a result, Harry Potter is one of the most read books of all time. Before creating the first Star Wars movie in the 1970s, George Lucas planned for at least six films and started at Episode IV rather than Episode I.

[00:00:28] As a result, almost 40 years later the entire world still freaks out when a new Star Wars comes out. This would not be possible if Lucas hadn't thoughtfully and largely planned. Don't just plant a tree, plant an orchard. What you plant in life is also what you harvest. Successful People Don't Work Harder There's a huge misconception about success. Becoming successful is less about how much someone works and more about how they set things up.

[00:00:57] Indeed, DHH has said that a 40-hour work week is a king's keep, more than enough time to create an abundant living. It's how you spend those 40 hours that determines where you end up. I was recently talking with a friend who has successfully started and run multiple companies. He told me he doesn't work harder than someone working for an hourly rate. More often than not, he's actually working less hard. The difference is, the work my friend does is not an exchange of time for money. He's not actually working directly for money.

[00:01:27] Rather, he's spending his 8-hour work day creating value that yields dividends long into the future. I asked him, how many good hours of work do you have a day? Like, to do deep and creative work. He said, probably 3-4 hours, then I'm fried. After that, I can do meetings, logistical stuff, and email. However, during those 3-4 hours, my time is worth thousands of dollars per hour. All things are mentally created first. Look around at your physical surroundings.

[00:01:56] Whether you're currently listening to this content on a phone or a computer, before those things were physical products, they were ideas in someone's head. What about the clothes you're wearing? Before they were physical products, they were ideas in someone's head. The building you're in? Same thing. The books you read? All ideas formulated in someone's head that were then transformed into the physical equivalent. Mental creation always precedes physical creation.

[00:02:21] Consequently, the planning process, the setup, is actually far more important than the work itself. Without the proper setup, it doesn't matter how hard you work. As Stephen Covey has said, if the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster. Urgent vs. Important Time Management Most people's time is spent on things which are urgent, like deadlines, answering emails, etc.

[00:02:48] In other words, they are being governed by time and by someone or something outside of them. Conversely, few people spend time on things which are important but not urgent. These are things like learning, exercising, planning, and investing in important relationships. There is generally no deadline on these things so they often get skipped over during the busyness of the day. But being busy doesn't necessarily translate to being successful. According to Tim Ferriss, quote,

[00:03:16] being busy is a sign your life is out of control, end quote. Although most people wear their busyness as a badge of honor, more often than not, it reflects backwards priorities, getting caught in the thick of thin things. Spending your time on urgent activities is the equivalent of consuming your time. Spending your time on non-urgent but important things is the equivalent of investing your time. Are you investing or consuming?

[00:03:42] That is the fundamental difference between the high, middle, and lower class. In the book Sapiens, Yuval Harari explains that the world economy is based on capitalism. The wealthy people invest their money in companies that make products. The poor people spend their money consuming the products the rich people are selling. Conclusion Are you planting a tree or an orchard? Either way, the amount of work you'll spend each day won't really differ.

[00:04:09] However, over a long enough period of time, what you plant, you will harvest. Did you consume your time or invest it? Is the work you're doing a transaction or a long-term relationship? If you're willing to think and plan big, the work you'll do on a daily basis will translate in like manner. What will shock you most when you set things up to succeed big is that things seemingly out of your control seem to fall into place.

[00:04:35] Indeed, it seems the very universe is conspiring to make things happen. Although I'm far from where I plan to be, I'm continuously startled and in awe as I watch things unfold, even despite my lackluster and often distracted performance, how I envision them to be. This four-second mental reset will improve your relationship and business. By Benjamin Hardy of BenjaminHardy.com

[00:05:05] Most people approach relationships backwards. It's not that our intentions are bad. Our attention is just in the wrong place, on ourselves rather than the other person. It turns out a little empathy is all you need to fix nearly any situation. Empathy creates space for deep and relevant relationships. Example, you're late for dinner with a friend because a work call went a little long. What's the first thing you do when you meet your waiting friend?

[00:05:48] In his book, Four Seconds, Peter Bregman explains that it only takes four seconds to reframe your paradigm and emotions to behave optimally in a given situation. Here's the simple formula. Before you meet your friend, stop and take a few deep breaths. Let go of your work. It's behind you now. Think about your friend. She's been patiently waiting for you and you're late for the expected meeting time. That's all you need to do.

[00:06:18] Then, when you walk up to your friend, rather than validating your behavior, validate your friend's emotions. Rather than explaining your situation, empathetically explain, in few words, how sorry you are for being late and how frustrating it must be waiting. That's it. This basically sums up Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Conclusion How would your relationships change if you stopped defending yourself and instead thought more about the other person?

[00:06:48] Most people are extremely forgiving when they feel validated, when they feel genuinely thought about and cared for. How would your business change if you were more thoughtful about those you work with and your customers? The two most underutilized words in the English language are, I'm sorry. That's often all that needs to be said. Stop trying to explain yourself. No one cares. Stop thinking about yourself so much. Become other-oriented. Your whole life will change.

[00:07:16] Instead of always thinking about what you can get out of a relationship, you'll think about what you can put into it. You'll focus on creating value rather than your emotional state. Your relationships will be deeper and your business will be more relevant. You just listened to the posts titled The Power of Planting Big Dreams and This 4-Second Mental Reset Will Improve Your Relationship and Business, both by Benjamin Hardy of BenjaminHardy.com.

[00:07:45] And thank you to Benjamin. He is regularly featured over on the podcast Optimal Living Daily, the original show in our podcast network. So check that show out for more from him. And I'm going to keep this ending nice and short for you today. I thank you as always for being here, and I'll see you right back here tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits. So far now, I'm going to keep it on a way. And the chat shop isn't going to bepenet. So it's not just a matter of code. It's only a big batch.