1691: [Part 2] The Real Reason Self-Promotion Sucks by Margo Aaron of That Seems Important

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Work Daily. The Real Reason Self-Promotion Sucks, Part 2 by Margo Aaron of ThatSeemsImportant.com. On Doing Nothing We love nothing. Nothing feels safe, because it's not really nothing. It's waiting, preparing, getting all of our ducks in a row. You're doing a lot of work while you're doing nothing. You make a laundry list of things that you must have in place before you can start promoting.

[00:00:26] My site isn't optimized. My copy on my about page isn't done. I need a logo. I don't have my funnel optimized. And they're all perfectly legit reasons. Trouble is, there are always perfectly legit reasons to do nothing. There are a million things wrong with this website right now. Typos I haven't caught yet. No lead magnet. A c*****y logo that I made in an hour and now won't load properly.

[00:00:49] But I haven't had a chance to fix it. The point is this. There are a million things that are wrong and will continue to be legitimate reasons for you not to act. All of these all ladder up to the one real reason you're not promoting. Fear. Aversion to self-promotion has to do with fear. Is my pitch bad? Is this idea really dumb? What if people think this is stupid? What if no one cares?

[00:01:13] Here's the truth. Your pitch is bad. People will think what you're doing is stupid. And no one cares. Let's just start there. It's a heck of a lot easier. No one got on a bike and started riding. Not even prodigies. Same rules apply here. You're going to suck at promoting yourself, your business, and your ideas until you've done it. A lot of it. Which is why, despite being perfectly wonderful marketing approaches, paid ads, social media, and affiliate marketing won't help you at this stage.

[00:01:42] They prevent you from addressing the real problem. Fear. And that will follow you around for the rest of your life until you address it. The toe dip approach. I was never the kid who jumped straight into the pool if it was cold. Or warm, or ever. I was scared of getting my hair wet and being really cold. You know, legitimate things. But if I didn't get in the pool, I'd be forced to sit outside with my parents, who were not fun to play with. So I'd get in the pool slowly, at my comfort level, starting with my toe.

[00:02:11] If I determined the temperature wasn't life-threatening, I'd put my entire foot in. Then my leg, but only up to my knee. Then up to my thigh. Eventually, I got in the pool and had a blast. That's how I recommend you address your discomfort with self-promotion. Slowly and methodically, without wasting too much emotional energy hating yourself, or squandering money on ads before you're ready to run them properly. The idea is build up your tolerance for discomfort in stages. Dip your toe in.

[00:02:38] I like to start by doing things that are kind of visible, but not too visible. 1. Update your Twitter bio with a link to your site, and a blurb if you're daring. 2. Update your Instagram bio with a link to your site. And a blurb if you're daring. These don't broadcast your updates to anyone, so you can start to get comfortable with the link being live and existing in a technically public place, but no one will really see it. Then you can stick your foot in.

[00:03:04] 1. Update your Facebook bio and or put your link on your profile somewhere. 2. Tell a friend you trust about your new project. Over drinks. Even if they're not your market, unless you have really cool friends, they're going to be excited for you regardless of the topic. And that excitement helps. The goal here is to boost your confidence and get you comfortable with being out there. You're not even promoting, per se.

[00:03:28] You're acknowledging the project is real and live and exists in public and could possibly be seen by others, which is frightening. As you start to get more comfortable with being out there, you can move to the next stage, which is a bit more public. 1. Update your LinkedIn bio. You can turn off the broadcast feature so your friends aren't notified unless you want them to be. I recommend using the broadcast feature, though, so more people get the update in their newsfeeds. But if you're still dipping in your toe, don't stress about it. Just update.

[00:03:58] Get yourself comfortable with the link being live and up. 2. Email a few of your close friends or colleagues and tell them not to give you any constructive criticism for at least two weeks. That way you're facing your fear of people seeing your site or project and judging you, but you don't get any feedback that could deflate you until you're ready to take it objectively. We all get defensive, or worse, hurt, when we get feedback before we're ready. 3. Post in a Facebook group where you know no one.

[00:04:27] Anonymity is a godsend when it comes to overcoming your fear of promotion. 4. Post in another Facebook group with the same copy you used before. And 5. Post in a different Facebook group with different copy. Facebook here can also be LinkedIn. It doesn't matter. Slowly up the publicness of your promotion. There are a ton of little things you can do to increase your tolerance for discomfort. The goal is to get to the point where you're no longer scared and you're having some fun being creative.

[00:04:55] The more little things you do, the less vulnerable you are to the reactions of others. Self-promotion exposure therapy. The first question people ask at networking events or extended family dinners is always, so what do you do? Instead of panicking, test out different pitches and positioning for your business. You can even say, I'm working on something new, but I'm not sure how to describe it yet. The idea is to get yourself comfortable with talking about it and getting blank stares. And you will get blank stares.

[00:05:24] It feels like c***, but if you learn to expect it, it gets easier. In between blank stares, you will also get that one person who is part of your target market. And that's the moment you'll realize you're not being self-promotey. They actually want to hear all about your product or service. Your target market wants to hear about your product or service. When you're speaking to people who speak your language, who are interested, who need and want what you're selling, it stops being self-promotey and starts being helpful and appreciated.

[00:05:54] Anyone who tells you you'll get over the fear either doesn't have it or is lying to you. You won't get over the fear, but you will learn to act in spite of it. That's the goal, and soon it will feel normal. In the beginning, you want to follow the famous Paul Graham dictum, do things that don't scale. When you've gotten traction and you know your product or service sells, then you can scale, aka employ an affiliate strategy, run ads, hire experts, etc. Know why you're employing the marketing approach you're employing.

[00:06:24] The why should always be, because this is the best way to reach my target market, and not because deep down you're avoiding doing the hard work of self-promotion. You just listened to Part 2 of the post titled The Real Reason Self-Promotion Sucks by Margot Aaron of ThatSeemsImportant.com Hey Sandra, we have us for a long time. We haven't seen us yet. Hello, Nadine. You look great.

[00:06:54] Thank you. I have found my plus for the health of I. What? Come, I show you. The movements of AOK Plus. Free for AOK Plus-Supportants. Find your plus for the health of I. And start with our self-check. Just online on AOK. AOK. AOK Plus. And thank you again to Margot. You can come by ThatSeemsImportant.com to read a lot more from her.

[00:07:22] And if you're curious where the site name came from, there is a nice little section on her About page that I'll share with you. She says, I want you to start being honest about who you are and what you want. To stop judging yourself by other people's success metrics and start defining your own. In order to do that, we've got to shed the layers of bullshit you've acquired over the years and rewrite the invisible scripts that are running your life. If we have any hope of getting you to blend meaningful work and making money,

[00:07:50] we need to get through the muck of the emotional baggage we'd prefer to ignore. So, we're going to talk about that. Because that seems important. So there you have it. And now, if you haven't done so already, please do subscribe to this show in the podcast app of your choice. Whatever you're using to hear me right now. That'll give you the new episodes automatically, so you're always caught up. You can also hit the follow button, depending on what app you're using. And either one would be just great to help us continue to bring you this great content.

[00:08:19] We're now in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Audible, and more. So again, thanks so much for subscribing or following. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you back here tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.