2131: Why Can't I Stop Procrastinating? by Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy on Overcoming Procrastination

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[00:01:00] This is Optimal Work Daily. Why can't I stop procrastinating? By Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy. What is one of the most common responses you get when you ask someone, how are you? Most of the time, I'll bet it's the one word deflection, fine, how are you? Often, it's, I'm so busy. With an added, I'm such a hot mess, I need to find a new job. Dating in Long Beach is...

[00:01:26] But don't worry, this isn't an article about being too busy and how the trappings of modern life force us to constantly be productive, distract ourselves from what really matters, and disconnect from others in the process. I've read that article and it was really good. Actually, I only read the headline and saw the top comment and just kept scrolling. This is about what we do when we are not as busy as we would like and feel like procrastination gets in our way. We've written before about why habits are hard to break. Procrastination is definitely a tough one.

[00:01:56] If chronic procrastination is an issue for you, you might be to a point where you're frustrated and can't figure out why it's so hard to get tasks done. Everyone has a hard time focusing occasionally. Keep in mind that there are often legitimate reasons that underlie chronic procrastination. For many people, it's easy to be unaware of the issues and chalk up procrastination to laziness. In reality, those who procrastinate often aren't lazy at all. Instead, there are merely other problems that get in the way of completing tasks in a timely fashion.

[00:02:25] One way to figure out what causes your procrastination is to pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that come up when you avoid a task. Does perfectionism cause procrastination? If you find that you put off tasks because they feel overwhelming or you get a sense of dread when you think about them, it might have to do with perfectionism. Perfectionism is a lovely mix of the need to control things, the pursuit of excellence, and a hyper-focus on flaws.

[00:02:52] Do you need everything to go smoothly all the time and get upset when it doesn't? Do you sometimes avoid doing things out of fear that you might fail? If this sounds like you, you very well may be a perfectionist. You can read more about how to tell if you're a perfectionist in a link in the post. In doses, this isn't always a bad thing. It doesn't mean you're doomed. Perfectionism can prompt people to be the best they can be. All too often, however, perfectionism makes people uncertain. And when we're uncertain, we wait.

[00:03:21] Your role models taught you to procrastinate. If you often feel like you don't know where to start, you might literally not know where to start. Many people were not taught how to do specific tasks. If no one sat you down and taught you how to manage a budget, it would make sense that you avoid opening your monthly bills. If you grew up in a chaotic home where household chores weren't prioritized, it might make sense that you let dishes pile up until you run out of clean ones.

[00:03:47] And if difficult conversations were avoided or they just turned into big blowout conflicts, it would make sense that you put off telling people how you really feel. You might feel nervous that once you start, you will f*** something up and not be able to go back and fix it. And then it'll be too late and you will have already spent so much time, energy, and money trying to do a simple task. So instead, you procrastinate by making lists and plans, talking to anyone who will listen about what you want to do, and spinning out by thinking of possibilities.

[00:04:16] As humans, we learn a large number of our behaviors by watching other people. Sure, some actions come to us instinctually, but procrastination is a learned example. If your parent or caregiver was a notorious procrastinator, you likely grew up watching them put off every task to the last minute. Raise your hand if you were late everywhere, did chores at the last minute, or if your mom helped you with your school assignment the night before it was due. It's also possible that you were never taught how to do specific tasks, so you're more inclined to put them off.

[00:04:45] When we feel incompetent, we wait. ADD or ADHD If you have trouble focusing in general, you may have Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD. Those with ADD or ADHD have a difficult time staying focused, learning from mistakes, or are prone to impulsivity. Though ADHD is a common diagnosis for children, it's not uncommon for adults to receive diagnoses as well.

[00:05:13] If you have trouble focusing or have difficulty paying attention or learning tasks, it could lead you to become a procrastinator. You may have the motivation to do a task, but can't seem to buckle down and concentrate enough to do it. Or when no one explains the task to you, you may not pick up all of the information, which leads you to feel uncertain about performing said task. If the source of your procrastination is related to ADHD, it's not totally within your control. Getting a good evaluation from a professional may shed some light on this

[00:05:42] and help you take the pressure off yourself. Coping with and overcoming procrastination If you're a procrastinator, it doesn't have to be that way forever. Some people may procrastinate for reasons that are out of their control. However, there are ways you can unlearn your habits. Set goals and reward yourself when you complete specific tasks. If you do feel as though your procrastination is the result of an underlying issue, seek out the help of a therapist to help you work through it. Furthermore, if you feel that you may have ADD or ADHD,

[00:06:13] schedule an appointment with your doctor. You just listened to the post titled, Why Can't I Stop Procrastinating? by Sarah Stanezai of ProspectTherapy.com This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

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[00:07:10] Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. That's Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. And thank you so much to Sarah for letting us share her work today. Sarah spent years working in non-profits and agencies trying to feel cool wearing business casual slacks and those trademark work flats. You know the ones. She hid her weirdness, lightened up her humor,

[00:07:38] and ate sad office birthday cake at least once a month. She was good at her job and she made friends and learned a lot, but she didn't realize how much of herself she was putting away between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. She didn't know what she was missing. But since starting Prospect Therapy, she's learned firsthand that the more herself she is, the more successful she is as a therapist, a leader, and as a business owner. It helps her connect with her clients and lets them know they can be real too. And this is at the core of what she talks about with her clients.

[00:08:08] Being yourself is a gift. And you can find more great posts from Sarah at prospecttherapy.com. And again, a big thank you to Sarah for letting us share her work across several of our shows. All right, that is it for today. Hope you enjoyed the post and that you're having a great weekend. And I'll see you back here tomorrow for the Sunday show. And that is where your optimal life awaits. We'll see you back then. Let's see you. Let's see you back here. Bye. Bye.