2161: Feeling Like a Fraud? How to Identify Impostor Syndrome by Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy on Overcoming Self-Doubt

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[00:00:30] This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales. Using automation, analytics and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

[00:01:00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Feeling like a fraud? How to identify imposter syndrome by Sara Stanizai of prospecttherapy.com. Do you feel awkward when someone compliments you? Do you sit there uncomfortably when you're praised at work? Are you ready with several reasons to downplay a simple achievement? It's okay. Many people can be socially awkward from time to time. It's normal to experience periods of self-doubt in our lives.

[00:01:28] It's natural and healthy to second-guess ourselves sometimes, too. However, if you find yourself continually living in a state of self-doubt, this could be indicative of a pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors referred to as imposter syndrome. It can show up in different people in different ways, and therefore it can be difficult to tell if you may be experiencing it. If you feel like a fraud most days and have anxiety that at any moment you can lose it all, it may be worth taking a closer look.

[00:01:57] What is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is the personal belief that you may not be as qualified or successful as others may perceive you to be. Essentially, you internalize the idea that you are a fraud of sorts, not qualified to be doing what you're doing. Maybe you feel in over your head at work, even though they keep telling you you're actually doing a pretty good job. Maybe you feel like your friends are just one missed call or cancelled event away from freezing you out, even though they keep inviting you to hang out.

[00:02:26] Maybe you feel like a disappointment because you aren't where you quote-unquote should be in your career, relationship, or living situation, even though your family tells you how proud they are of you. Often, those with imposter syndrome fear that their peers or colleagues may catch on at any time. The important thing about imposter syndrome, rather than just regular anxiety or self-esteem issues, is that despite fears of being inadequate, you are wholly qualified to be doing what you're doing.

[00:02:52] People with imposter syndrome also tend to overlook or cheapen their accomplishments. This approach only further perpetuates their mentality that they aren't as successful as others think they are. What causes imposter syndrome? There is not a definitive answer to this question. However, individual experiences in our childhood or adolescence can make us more inclined to habitually second-guess ourselves. Perhaps you grew up excelling at school from a young age and were praised continuously for it.

[00:03:20] You got used to getting good grades and lots of positive feedback. At a certain point, maybe school became quite tricky. Or perhaps as your classes became more challenging, you started to fall behind. This change from being so successful to struggling in academics can easily cause feelings of uncertainty. Furthermore, maybe your parents would praise you highly one day but harshly critique you the next. This kind of confusing environment creates an inner conflict that can easily cause self-doubt. You don't know whether to try harder or to just give up.

[00:03:50] Once something becomes difficult now, do you double down on your efforts, motivated by anxiety? Or do you give up because you get frustrated when your results aren't perfect the first time, motivated by shame? Either way, you might have imposter syndrome. Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome The most common symptom of Imposter Syndrome is chronic self-doubt. Despite performing well at work, you may still question how you got the job in the first place. You likely compare yourself to your co-workers and see them as being more qualified than you.

[00:04:20] If you get assigned as the leader of a project, this may worsen your anxiety about performing well and proving yourself. Your past accomplishments may seem insignificant to you. Or you may feel as if you somehow faked your way through getting those as well. What may start as self-doubt can easily resemble imposter syndrome over time, particularly if the self-doubt becomes chronic and unrelenting and if there is evidence that you are actually qualified and competent. Imposter Syndrome and Anxiety

[00:04:49] Imposter Syndrome goes hand in hand with anxiety and shame. It is one thing to feel unqualified but not really worry about it. On the other hand, you might think not only are you bad at what you do, but you are a bad person because of that. Where someone else might cut themselves some slack while they inch up the learning curve, you take your deficits personally. Anxiety takes imposter syndrome to a new level of worry and fear. Another significant factor in imposter syndrome is not necessarily just feeling unqualified,

[00:05:17] but it's the fear that your co-workers or boss might catch on. This anxiety is debilitating and can negatively impact your work performance and general happiness. It is normal to experience some anxiety in our day-to-day lives. However, when it gets to the point of becoming all-consuming and debilitating, it needs to be examined more seriously. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome Imposter Syndrome is quite common for adults to experience at least once in their lives.

[00:05:44] If you've listened through this article and feel you're suffering from imposter syndrome, no need to panic. You can overcome the symptoms with self-awareness and perhaps a little outside help. Also, it's essential to look at your accomplishments and tell yourself that they are real and valid. You got that job for a reason. You received that promotion for a reason. People want to be around you because of you. It is easy to tell ourselves these things, but the key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to believe and internalize them.

[00:06:12] A therapist can help you work through feelings of self-doubt. They can also help you figure out what the roots of such beliefs are and how to avoid these issues from coming back up in the future. The most important thing to remember, however, is that you are qualified. You have excelled in your life and you're doing the best you can. You are not alone in your struggle with imposter syndrome. And once you recognize the symptoms within yourself, the sooner you can begin to overcome them.

[00:06:42] You just listened to the post titled, Feeling Like a Fraud? How to Identify Imposter Syndrome by Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy. Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions! I have sold my chariot on Carvana! It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it!

[00:07:12] Tonight we feast! An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales. Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result?

[00:07:42] Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Thank you so much to Sarah for letting us share her work today. Sarah spent years working in non-profits and agencies trying to feel cool wearing business casual slacks and those trademark work flats. You know the ones. She hid her weirdness, lightened up her humor, and ate sad office birthday cake at least once a month. She was good at her job.

[00:08:12] She made friends. She learned a lot. But she didn't realize how much of herself she was putting away between 9am and 5pm. She didn't know what she was missing. Since starting Prospect Therapy, she's learned firsthand that the more herself she is, the more successful she is. As a therapist, a leader, and as a business owner. It helps her connect with her clients and lets them know they can be real too. This is at the core of what she talks about with her clients. Being yourself is a gift.

[00:08:39] You can find more great posts from Sarah at prospecttherapy.com And again, thanks so much to Sarah for letting us share her work across several of our Optimal Shows. Okay, that's going to do it for this episode. Hope you enjoyed it and that you're having a great day. And I'll be back here again with you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.