2502: Habits of Highly Effective Real People by Chris Guillebeau on The Importance of Self-Reflection

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[00:01:00] effective real people by Chris Gillibot of ChrisGillibot.com and I'm Dr. Neal Mollik. Hey there and welcome back to the usual Sunday bonus episode. This is where I share an episode from another podcast in the Optimal Family, and today's comes from Optimal Living Daily. So you can find that show wherever you're listening to this. So with that here's my brother Justin reading for you along with his commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:31] Habits of highly effective real people by Chris Gillibot of ChrisGillibot.com.

[00:01:38] Quote, everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that's a lot because if you can fix yourself it has a ripple effect. Rob Reiner.

[00:01:52] Humans are not machines and we don't all want the same things but we do want to do something purposeful to use the time we have to the best of our ability. And we also long to discover our authentic selves.

[00:02:06] If our lives consist of a series of choices, how do highly effective real people make them? Use a short list of characteristics for your consideration.

[00:02:15] First and foremost, they know what's important to them. I've been saying for a while that the greatest productivity hack is to love what you do.

[00:02:25] It is much much easier to be both productive and satisfied when you spend most of your time on something you find meaningful.

[00:02:32] Often go back to this principle as a compass point. It really does no good at all to become efficient at the wrong things. On balance it's actually negative because the more efficient you become, the more likely it is that you'll continue on the wrong way.

[00:02:45] And in the same path, therefore it's better to fail quickly at the wrong things so you can discover the right ones. They decide for themselves before other people decide for them.

[00:02:56] Highly effective real people tend to be questioners. They don't accept what they are told at face value. They even examine their own beliefs to find inconsistencies and opportunities for improvement.

[00:03:06] Whenever someone asks you can have A or B, which do you want? They often respond by saying, I'd like C please. This is hard at first but gets easier as you gain experience.

[00:03:17] You have to understand that throughout your life there will always be people who want to decide on your behalf. They have their own goals and agenda because they too are human, they care about themselves more than they care about you.

[00:03:29] To be effective, to do what matters to you and to pursue the right goals more on that in a moment. You need to resist external expectations that don't apply to you.

[00:03:40] Only when you have your own house in order can you operate effectively with others because otherwise you'll be open to manipulation and misdirection.

[00:03:48] They take time to enjoy life in whatever way makes sense to them.

[00:03:52] Even though they are highly effective, these real people aren't afraid to spend time on hobbies or different interests. As the saying goes, time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

[00:04:03] And that's the key point. Time they enjoy wasting. Maybe have a weird hobby or maybe your idea of fun is different from other peoples. Who cares? Do whatever you need to recharge and regroup.

[00:04:14] In conversations, they listen. They don't just think about what they're going to say next.

[00:04:19] Listening is an underrated skill. Yet it's easy to develop. Just start doing it.

[00:04:24] Empathy takes practice. Sometimes it's helpful to repeat back what someone says, not robotically but in more of a, I want to make sure I understand this way.

[00:04:33] Over time you can also learn to listen not only to what it said, but what is unsaid and sometimes more important.

[00:04:40] They learn what time is best to wake up and go to sleep.

[00:04:44] It's not the same for everyone. This was my number one takeaway from reading Dan Pink's and when. There's a lot more in the book of course, but that concept stuck with me more than anything else.

[00:04:53] Once they know their ideal rhythms, they try to stick to them making exceptions only occasionally.

[00:04:58] Sure it's fun to change things up now and then, but if you operate most effectively according to a certain routine, you'll be most effective when you stick with it.

[00:05:07] Highly effective real people embrace goals.

[00:05:10] The goals vary and some might not even call them goals, but they consistently work towards something.

[00:05:16] They know that the process is more important than actually achieving the goals, but to have the process you have to have an endpoint to look towards.

[00:05:24] Goals are the tangible expressions of values what we decide aren't important to us and therefore the choices we make each day.

[00:05:31] Highly effective real people know that the actions they take on one day will affect the opportunities available to them in the future should they live long enough to see it.

[00:05:40] Lastly, they find a balance between service and self-care.

[00:05:45] Highly effective real people know that life isn't all about them. They want to serve others however they can.

[00:05:51] They want to make a difference. As they consider their goals, values and decisions, this value is always present.

[00:05:58] Yet it isn't exclusive. To operate most effectively in life and to get what you really want, you also need to think about yourself.

[00:06:05] Not every goal has to be perfectly in line with what it produces for other people. Personal growth comes through challenge.

[00:06:12] It all leads to the overall philosophy of non-conformity. You can do good things for others and yourself at the same time. It's not a dichotomy or an either or.

[00:06:21] I don't think I'm always a highly effective person, though I try to always be a real one. When I feel off track, I go back to some of these points, especially those about being intentional and making my own choices.

[00:06:32] I also try to remember the universal truths, changes constant, everything is temporary.

[00:06:37] So once again, highly effective real people seek to use whatever time they have to the best of their ability.

[00:06:44] You just listen to the post titled Habits of Highly Effective Real People by Chris Gilebo of ChrisGilebo.com.

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[00:08:33] If they get a Chris, those traits know what's important to you decide for yourself take time to enjoy life truly listen. No one is best for you to sleep and wake embrace goals and balance service and self care.

[00:08:45] Those make a lot of sense to me. I'm one of those people who was almost always working after 10 p.m. I've tried to reject it had early classes try to go to bed at 10 or 11.

[00:08:56] It just doesn't work for me. I'll end up getting excited about something at that hour and staying up working on it. That's when ideas and motivation hit me very late at night.

[00:09:04] And understanding that and working with it has helped a lot. We're all different and if you can find what works with your schedule you'll likely be more effective.

[00:09:12] I'm also a fan of truly listening that can't be said enough. I know of narrated posts about that before but it's really a trait that seems to be harder and harder to find, with how we're now in the attention economy where everyone's vying for it

[00:09:24] and attention seems to be getting shorter and shorter down to video clips that are just a few seconds long. I feel like that's training ourselves to not listen intently.

[00:09:32] But as a listener of this podcast hopefully you're not in that boat. Anyway that's enough for today. Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day. I'll be back tomorrow where you're optimal life awaits.