2526: The 1 Reason Most People Will Forever Remain “Wannabes” by Benjamin Hardy on The Importance of Commitment

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[00:01:53] One of the other podcasts in our network where we read articles to you.

[00:01:57] Now today's post comes from my brother's podcast, Optimal Living Daily,

[00:02:02] where articles covering mindfulness, personal development and minimalism are read to you every

[00:02:07] day. You can find and subscribe to or follow that podcast. Just search for Optimal Living

[00:02:13] Daily wherever you're listening to this. And with that, here's my brother Justin as we

[00:02:18] optimize your life. The number one reason most people will forever remain wannabes

[00:02:28] by Benjamin Hardy of benjaminhardy.com. When you think of the word wannabe, maybe you imagine

[00:02:34] someone who isn't committed to their goals and dreams. Sure there are countless people who fit

[00:02:39] this description. Indeed the number one deathbed regret for most people is that they lacked the

[00:02:45] courage to be who they wanted to be and instead became who their social circle expected them

[00:02:51] to be. But really the whole wannabe thing actually is a better description of very hard working people.

[00:02:58] Dan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, calls this the time and effort economy.

[00:03:04] When you're in the time and effort economy, your mindset is such that if you put enough time

[00:03:09] and effort in, you'll eventually become successful. This unfortunately is not how

[00:03:14] you become successful. Dan Sullivan contrasts the time and effort economy with the

[00:03:20] results economy. When you're in the results economy, your focus is not on how much time and

[00:03:25] effort you put in. It's about knowing exactly what you want and about doing whatever is most

[00:03:30] effective at producing that result. The reason most people stay wannabes. Quote,

[00:03:37] when it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals,

[00:03:42] adjust the action steps. Confucius. Herein lies the number one reason most people will always

[00:03:50] remain wannabes. They aren't 100% committed to a specific and powerful result. Instead,

[00:03:58] they are putting in their time and effort and despite their best efforts and even their

[00:04:02] incredible talent, they will always remain in that state, always putting in time and effort

[00:04:08] for minimal reward. Never adjusting and adapting to be effective, but instead happy to remain efficient,

[00:04:16] even if at the wrong thing. Peter Drucker said it nicely, quote, efficiency is doing things right.

[00:04:23] Effectiveness is doing the right things, end quote. There's a reason few people make it in

[00:04:30] terms of truly living their dreams at the highest level. Most people remain dreamers rather

[00:04:35] than achievers. Even their persona and identity narrative remains that of a dreamer. They've

[00:04:40] learned to love that identity. They're content with their current persona and results, but deep

[00:04:46] down, they're hiding. This is not an elitist conversation. This isn't about needing to be

[00:04:52] the absolute best. It's about being honest. I find that few people are truly honest about

[00:04:58] what they genuinely want. They're too scared to admit even to themselves in their own journal

[00:05:04] what they truly want. Instead of fully owning what they want and learning how to get that,

[00:05:10] they settle for a lesser lot. They settle for the time and effort economy where they will

[00:05:14] forever remain a wannabe. Their two fundamental reasons people are afraid to admit what they want.

[00:05:22] Ego. They don't want to expose themselves to others because if they do, they may look dumb

[00:05:26] if they don't succeed. Dr. Carol Dweck would call this the epitome of the fixed mindset

[00:05:32] and what it really means is that you have a fragile identity. You're too afraid to fail at

[00:05:36] what you truly want, so instead you'll limit yourself to something you can succeed at,

[00:05:42] even if that success is far lower than what you genuinely choose for yourself.

[00:05:46] And lack of confidence. The other reason people don't genuinely commit to and become

[00:05:51] who they truly want to be is a lack of confidence which is very different from a fixed

[00:05:56] mindset. Ultimately though, it creates the same result unless that confidence is increased,

[00:06:02] which it can be. Confidence really means two things. You know what you want and you know

[00:06:08] you can get it. Without confidence, you'll be hazy on what you want and you won't know what you

[00:06:13] can do. Here's the thing people don't realize about confidence and even motivation. Both can

[00:06:19] be fueled. Not only can you define and determine for yourself what you want,

[00:06:25] but you can develop the mindset and desire to get it. If you don't have the desire to truly succeed,

[00:06:31] you can develop that desire. You can literally train your identity to want and need it. This may

[00:06:37] sound strange, but it's actually how you become anything. Right now, you have an identity. Within

[00:06:43] your current identity you have wants and even needs. You can train your identity to want

[00:06:48] and need what you truly want. I learned this as a parent. In 2015, my wife and I became foster

[00:06:56] parents of three children. Admittedly, I didn't want these kids deep down for quite a while.

[00:07:02] Of course, a part of me did. But mostly, I was going through the motions. I could say

[00:07:07] I wanted to be their dad, but deep down, I didn't want to be. I wanted to want it. I valued

[00:07:15] it. But if I'm being honest, I didn't want to be with them, my preferred being elsewhere.

[00:07:20] Not anymore. I train my desires and identity. My children, all five of them now, are truly what

[00:07:27] I want and what I'm committed to. And not just in a time and effort way, although time,

[00:07:33] genuine time, is really what kids need. But more than anything, I committed to truly being

[00:07:39] their father and I want that more than anything now. I'm not who I once was, and my life is far

[00:07:46] different as a result. Quote, There is one quality which one must possess to win and that is

[00:07:53] definiteness of purpose. The knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to possess it.

[00:08:00] Napoleon Hill. Most writers will never become professionals. Most athletes will never become

[00:08:07] pros. Most people will put in a lot of time and effort, but ultimately that time and effort will not

[00:08:13] translate into the transformation needed to become what they deep down want to be. Instead,

[00:08:19] their time and effort will be going through the motions because they aren't truly committed to what

[00:08:23] they really want. Because they're not committed, they will justify wasting their time and effort

[00:08:29] on things that aren't producing results. They'll continue spending their time and effort on

[00:08:33] activities and platforms that don't work. They'll be satisfied enough, putting in the time and effort,

[00:08:39] and they'll be their reward. When you become serious about something, you stop holding back.

[00:08:45] You own fully what you want. Your ego goes away and you become fine being radically imperfect

[00:08:52] along the way. You also own fully your current results and shift what you're doing until you

[00:08:57] find what works. You're committed to your goals and not committed to some specific process

[00:09:03] platform or persona. You become who you want to be, whatever that takes. You focus on results,

[00:09:10] not time and effort. You learn to get what you want because you want it badly enough.

[00:09:16] You don't lower your goals with justifications. You just listened to the post titled

[00:09:25] The Number One Reason Most People Will Forever Remain Wanted Bees

[00:09:29] by Benjamin Hardy of benjaminhardy.com. When you're hiring, it feels amazing

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[00:10:38] and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. Thank you to Benjamin. I thought there

[00:10:45] were a couple of quotes in here worth repeating as a reminder as we end this episode. When it is

[00:10:51] obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. And

[00:10:59] efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things. This is something I can

[00:11:06] admit I get trapped in. Granted, I've been able to release an episode of this podcast daily for

[00:11:11] almost six years, but a lot of that was efficiency. In my opinion, there could be a lot more

[00:11:16] effectiveness, where instead of spinning wheels, things are actually moving in the direction that I

[00:11:22] want long term. And it's difficult. Sometimes we just don't know what the right things are.

[00:11:28] That takes a lot of testing courage, adapting things like that, that many of us are uncomfortable

[00:11:34] with becoming efficient can be in a way becoming comfortable. Whereas finding effectiveness

[00:11:41] can be really uncomfortable, but worthwhile in the end. Hopefully this article sparked something

[00:11:47] for you or made you think about it in a different way did for me. So that have a great rest of

[00:11:52] your day and I'll be back tomorrow as usual where optimal life awaits.