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Episode 2535:
Discover Jill Coleman's refreshing approach to body positivity in "Body Dissatisfaction" where she encourages women to embrace 'acceptance without resignation.' Through her personal experiences and coaching insights, Coleman navigates the dangerous waters of body dissatisfaction and promotes a healthier, guilt-free approach to self-improvement.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://jillfit.com/2012/02/16/body-dissatisfaction/
Quotes to ponder:
"Learning 'acceptance without resignation' is a much gentler approach and also a just as effective tool when striving for body change."
"Negative motivation (guilt, remorse, etc) rarely works."
"You are worthy, and special and amazing RIGHT NOW."
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[00:00:56] This is Optimal Health Daily Episode 2535.
[00:01:00] Body Dissatisfaction by Jill Coleman of gilfit.com
[00:01:04] and I'm your host Dr. Neal.
[00:01:06] Welcome back to Optimal Health Daily where I simply read to you from the best health
[00:01:10] and fitness blogs for free.
[00:01:12] This is kind of like an audiobook, but with articles instead and articles from a
[00:01:17] bunch of different authors and always with permission from the sites of course.
[00:01:21] Now on Fridays I answer your questions.
[00:01:24] You can send in a question by going to oldpodcast.com slash ask
[00:01:30] or email your question directly to health at oldpodcast.com.
[00:01:36] Alright and with that, let's hear today's post as we optimize your life.
[00:01:44] Body Dissatisfaction by Jill Coleman of gilfit.com
[00:01:50] I work with a lot of individuals who are for the most part pretty fit and healthy
[00:01:55] but there is usually one common tune that most sing and that is
[00:01:59] I just want to get a bit leaner.
[00:02:01] I know I'm not at my full potential and I would feel so much better in my skin
[00:02:06] if I were 10 pounds or 15 pounds or 20 pounds less.
[00:02:10] There is this subtle gnawing dissatisfaction inside that they cannot quell about their physique.
[00:02:15] If I could just get my legs a little tighter, if I could just get my belly a little flatter,
[00:02:21] if I could just get my butt a little smaller, then fill in the blank here.
[00:02:26] This is common and like most I have dealt with feelings of dissatisfaction at times too
[00:02:32] at certain times more acutely than others.
[00:02:35] And if you read my blog you know that I have dealt with many body demons
[00:02:39] in terms of feeling like I need to look a certain way or else I am worthless.
[00:02:44] Sad to say out loud as I have many times before, but the truth of it is that many can
[00:02:50] and do get caught up in these same feelings.
[00:02:53] Unworthiness, remorse, embarrassment, guilt, sadness, helplessness, and negative self-talk.
[00:03:01] I have fought many of those demons for the past seven years or so
[00:03:06] but now for the most part I have to say I feel like I have won the battle against my own negative body talk.
[00:03:13] Yes, it would be fantastic if my legs were smaller. Sure.
[00:03:17] Would clothes fit a little better if my ridiculously athletically big butt were smaller?
[00:03:23] Yes of course. Would it be nice to sport a six-pack year round? Heck yeah.
[00:03:28] But at what cost?
[00:03:30] Getting caught up in acute dissatisfaction with our physiques can lead to a couple of issues.
[00:03:36] Learning acceptance without resignation is a much gentler approach
[00:03:41] and also a just as effective tool when striving for body change.
[00:03:45] We know that guilt, remorse, hating ourselves after too many indulgences
[00:03:49] and feeling helpless do not work. It only makes us more miserable.
[00:03:55] So what's the deal? Six-pack or bust?
[00:03:59] The main issue I see is that we often set up an expectation
[00:04:02] for where what physique we need to achieve or else.
[00:04:06] This is a dangerous place to be because it perpetuates the dissatisfaction gap
[00:04:11] or expectation gap, the discrepancy between what we need to attain
[00:04:16] in order to be satisfied and where we currently are.
[00:04:19] Start by asking yourself why did I pick that number or dress size
[00:04:24] or weight or that body fat percent?
[00:04:27] Most can trace their goal number back to some old random moment from the past
[00:04:32] like in my 20s my trainer told me 15% body fat or less is where I should be to be very fit
[00:04:39] or I weighed 118 pounds in high school and it was the perfect size
[00:04:44] or when I was in really good shape after college
[00:04:48] I was wearing a size fill in a number here and I just need to get back there.
[00:04:53] Hello, why?
[00:04:55] Things change, you change, circumstances change,
[00:04:59] hormonal makeup changes, priorities change, people's opinions change
[00:05:04] and on top of it no one is less qualified to be able to objectively assess you than yourself.
[00:05:10] Sorry, you naturally have biases, subjective feelings, emotions and sensitivities
[00:05:16] and what's unfortunate is that many of us hold on so tightly to a size or number
[00:05:21] that we have actually trained ourselves to not be satisfied with ourselves
[00:05:25] until we reach said random number.
[00:05:28] We perpetuate the dissatisfaction ourselves.
[00:05:31] Sounds funny to say it like that but honestly take a second to ask yourself
[00:05:36] if I never reached that number and stayed exactly as I am right now
[00:05:40] what is the worst case scenario?
[00:05:43] Will you be less qualified to do your job?
[00:05:45] Will your partner magically become less attracted to you?
[00:05:49] Will you become a bad parent?
[00:05:51] Will your children love you any less?
[00:05:53] Will your friends and family shun you?
[00:05:56] You get the picture.
[00:05:58] You are worthy and special and amazing right now.
[00:06:02] And of course at Jill Fit we are all about offering the tools to achieve a lean, beautiful physique
[00:06:08] and it is certainly okay to want to strive for more, a leaner physique, a tighter body and so on
[00:06:13] but we take the approach of acceptance without resignation.
[00:06:18] Have healthy body esteem in this moment
[00:06:21] but then also realize this is a stopover on a longer body change journey.
[00:06:27] Take a step back ask yourself can I celebrate how far I have come
[00:06:31] and at that same party fix my sights on my next victory?
[00:06:36] Use gratitude first and positive motivation second.
[00:06:39] Negative motivation like guilt and remorse rarely works.
[00:06:43] Be aware of attaching your personal happiness and satisfaction to your physique.
[00:06:47] It is a dangerous business and it takes away your own power.
[00:06:51] It gives your power over to a scale or a pant size.
[00:06:55] It imprisons you in your own personal ffff of low body esteem.
[00:06:59] To value yourself as only a nice body is selling yourself way too short.
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[00:08:40] Dr. Neal here for my commentary.
[00:09:04] The other issue with using body fat percentage or pants sizes
[00:09:07] or a number on the scale as a goal is that we need to ask ourselves
[00:09:11] what happens when we do reach that goal?
[00:09:14] Do we just stop what we've been doing?
[00:09:16] Do we tell ourselves, well I've reached my goal.
[00:09:19] Now I can finally relax and let loose.
[00:09:22] I should hope not.
[00:09:24] Instead we want to continue these wonderful behaviors for a lifetime
[00:09:28] not just until we reach our goal weight, our goal body fat percentage
[00:09:32] or our goal pant size.
[00:09:34] Now I'm not saying having goals is a problem.
[00:09:37] The problem is hyper focusing on reaching that goal
[00:09:40] because what happens if we've been making progress
[00:09:43] and getting closer to reaching that milestone
[00:09:46] but then all progress stops?
[00:09:48] It can get very frustrating very quickly.
[00:09:51] So it can be helpful to have a deeper reason
[00:09:54] for setting these goals for ourselves.
[00:09:56] Something that goes beyond just a number.
[00:09:58] You've heard me call it your why.
[00:10:01] Meaning what's the deeper reason for reaching this goal?
[00:10:04] Why is this goal so important to you?
[00:10:07] Is it because you want to live a longer, happier and healthier life?
[00:10:10] Is it to see your grandchildren grow up?
[00:10:13] Is it to experience less physical pain each day?
[00:10:16] These are the deeper reasons we do what we do.
[00:10:20] And that's why we need to think about and remember them
[00:10:23] because they will keep us pushing on after we've reached our goals.
[00:10:27] Alright, that should do it for another edition of Optimal Health Daily.
[00:10:31] I hope you have a great rest of your day.
[00:10:33] Thank you so much for listening.
[00:10:35] Thank you for sharing this show with someone.
[00:10:37] And I'll be back here tomorrow.
[00:10:39] So I'll definitely see you there where your Optimal Life awaits.