2574: The Magic Key to Happiness by Rachel Shanken of MindBodyWise on Mental Health & How to Be Happy

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[00:01:00] more. That's wonderfulpistachios.com. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest

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[00:01:36] for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Health Daily, episode 2574, The Magic Key to Happiness by Rachel Schenken of mindbodywise.com. And I'm Dr. Neil, your host. Hey there and welcome back to another bonus

[00:01:57] Sunday episode. This is where I share an episode from one of the other podcasts in our network where we read articles to you. Today's post comes from my brother's podcast, Optimal Living Daily, where articles covering mindfulness, personal development and minimalism are read to you

[00:02:14] every day. You can find and subscribe to or follow that podcast by just searching for Optimal Living Daily wherever you're listening to this. And with that, here's my brother Justin as we optimize your life. The Magic Key to Happiness by Rachel Schenken of mindbodywise.com.

[00:02:38] Is there a magic key to happiness? Some days feel like a chore. From the moment the day starts, you know that challenges await you. Not the good kind, the ones that you dread. You're putting out

[00:02:50] fires or doing a job that feels meaningless. On these types of days, you wake up knowing that your day is going to be another unfulfilling one. A day where the clock feels like it's moving

[00:03:01] backwards. No matter how much you try to change your perspective and your mood, nothing shifts. We've all had days, sometimes months, like this. Then you hear a little voice inside of you that

[00:03:13] says, if you just had blank, then you would be happy. Fill in the blank here with any of the following. The right relationship, a great new pair of shoes, more dessert, a bigger house, a better body,

[00:03:26] more money, a job you loved, a great vacation, a new gadget, etc. That voice inside you is your internal happiness scavenger. Your happiness scavenger will do anything it can to hunt down

[00:03:41] a so-called fix for your empty, sad, or anxious feelings. Your happiness scavenger, or HS as I like to call mine, comes from a good place. It wants to help soothe you, ease your distress, and get you smiling.

[00:03:55] Your HS believes that you're supposed to be happy, and if you aren't, something is wrong. Both you and your happiness scavenger want to believe that with a little effort, there's a one-time fix that will

[00:04:07] solve all your woes in one purchase, one new healthy habit, one relationship, or one shift in your circumstances. When your happiness scavenger initially devises an attempted resolution for those not-so-pleasant feelings, it seems like the best idea you've ever had. You're sure that this

[00:04:25] new thing will wipe away the yuckies in no time. Yet on some deep down level, when you get really real with yourself, you know that a new outfit won't make you into a happy-go-lucky, happy-all-the-time

[00:04:39] human. Deep down, you know that nothing on the outside can magically heal what's on the inside. You avoid looking inside because the perceived outside solution seems so much shinier, prettier, easier, and more fun. The problem is it doesn't work. Your happiness scavenger drives you to

[00:05:00] external attempts for healing your internal wounds. Your HS looks in all the wrong places for all the wrong things, and so your lack of fulfillment amplifies. The search for a fix continues, each time a little more desperately than the last. It takes a lot of self-awareness

[00:05:17] to realize when your happiness scavenger is at the wheel and you're just along for the ride. Here are some hints and tips to help you get your power back. Hint number one, as you find yourself adding more stuff to your shopping cart,

[00:05:33] are you in touch with your emotions? If not, get mindful. Pause and notice what emotions are arising. Then peel away those surface level emotions and connect with the emotions that might be getting covered over by these more appealing top-level emotions. Notice what

[00:05:52] sensations are arising in your body. Do a deep check-in and see where this need originates within you. Hint number two, when you're on a mission for those new shoes or that Hollywood movie magic relationship and you haven't paused to see what you're really experiencing within,

[00:06:09] that's a sign that your happiness scavenger might be on the loose. Stop to ask yourself what's feeling unfulfilled within you, sans the new clothes or the new partner. Ask yourself what wounds are still open, what parts of you are calling out for some love and attention. Do

[00:06:26] some self-care and self-soothing to tend to those parts first. And hint number three, each time you seek out the next best thing when you thought you got it last week and the week before, that's a

[00:06:39] sign. Notice if your imagination has you playing out scenes in your head about what your life will be like when you have the perfect blank. Catch yourself in the momentum of your fantasy life

[00:06:49] or identity or relationship or body and instead explore holding off on chasing the external fix to be with your actual reality. Unfortunately, there is no magic key to healing. There is no golden ticket to never-ending joy. There is no elite entry into the land of happiness.

[00:07:10] This is not breaking news to your rational mind, but while in the throes of feeling bad, your happiness scavenger may find its way into your head to have his voice be heard. It's your mission, if you choose to accept it, to remind your happiness scavenger

[00:07:24] that there's no filling that emptiness with anything outside of you. To generate more happiness, take control back by reminding your HS that it doesn't come from the outside. Start looking within and do the work without allowing the noise of the HS to pull you toward yet another

[00:07:42] short-lived feel-good moment that never quite lives up to what you had imagined. You just listened to the post titled, The Magic Key to Happiness by Rachel Schenken of mindbodywise.com. Thank you to

[00:07:59] Rachel. There's a common theme or at least one we've seen across a few of the posts in the last week or two that have talked about noticing what's going on in your head. And not to sound like a

[00:08:11] broken record, but that's pretty much what the practice of meditation trains you to do. It's worked well for me to be more mindful and aware of what's going on inside my head. But journaling

[00:08:21] is also a great one that can do the trick. In either case, some kind of ongoing practice really will help if this is an area you struggle with. Something that notices your thoughts, puts them

[00:08:32] on paper or you keep noticing them over and over again like meditation, that helps a lot. So I'd recommend trying whichever sounds more fun to you. Let me know how it goes. Have a great start to your

[00:08:43] weekend if you're listening in real time. And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.