2586: Think You Can Fail Only If You Try? Think Again by Nia Shanks on Personal Growth & Development

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[00:00:54] This is Optimal Health Daily episode 2586.

[00:00:57] Think you can fail only if you try?

[00:01:00] Think again by Nia Shanks of niashanks.com.

[00:01:04] And I'm your host and narrator, Dr. Neil.

[00:01:06] Hey there, happy middle of the week Wednesday

[00:01:08] and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily

[00:01:11] where I read some of the best health and fitness blogs

[00:01:13] to you and always with a bit of my commentary at the end.

[00:01:17] Now today is Wednesday and like I do every Wednesday,

[00:01:20] I'm about to share an inspirational quote with you.

[00:01:23] I should also mention that today's article by Nia Shanks

[00:01:26] is also full of some amazing quotes.

[00:01:28] So you'll definitely get lots of inspiration

[00:01:31] by listening today.

[00:01:33] But let's start with our first quote.

[00:01:35] Nothing is worth more than this day.

[00:01:39] Johan Wolfgang von Goethe.

[00:01:41] All right, and with that, let's get right to it

[00:01:43] and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:50] Think you can fail only if you try?

[00:01:52] Think again by Nia Shanks of niashanks.com.

[00:01:57] We may hesitate to do something or try new things

[00:02:00] because we don't want to fail.

[00:02:03] But what if not taking action

[00:02:04] could lead to an even bigger failure?

[00:02:07] If we tried something and didn't attain the desired outcome,

[00:02:10] we define the event as a failure.

[00:02:12] We tried, it didn't work or was a catastrophic disaster,

[00:02:17] therefore we failed.

[00:02:19] Failure it seems is a result of taking action.

[00:02:22] Just do it, they say.

[00:02:24] Well maybe you just did it and hated it

[00:02:27] or perhaps the outcome was worse than you expected

[00:02:30] or could have prepared for.

[00:02:33] This is why we can easily smooth talk ourselves

[00:02:35] out of taking action.

[00:02:36] Trying to avoid failure is a comforting excuse

[00:02:39] to not take that risk or try that new thing

[00:02:42] and remain safely in our comfort zone.

[00:02:46] Taking action is scary

[00:02:47] because it's an opportunity for us to fail.

[00:02:50] It makes us vulnerable.

[00:02:51] We say, if I do this thing, I could fail miserably

[00:02:55] or the result may not be what I intended.

[00:02:59] The action may indeed lead to failure

[00:03:01] so we procrastinate, make excuses

[00:03:04] or put the thought out of our minds.

[00:03:06] We nestle snugly back into the welcoming warmth

[00:03:09] of our comfort zone,

[00:03:10] safe and sound from the big bully, failure.

[00:03:14] But it's time to redefine failure.

[00:03:17] Over the past several months,

[00:03:18] I've been examining this word, failure,

[00:03:20] to determine what it truly means and how it occurs.

[00:03:24] As a result of this personal inspection,

[00:03:26] I pose to you that inaction can be a failure.

[00:03:29] You can fail because you didn't act or try.

[00:03:33] Not taking risks, getting out of our comfort zones,

[00:03:36] seeing what we're capable of doing,

[00:03:39] trying the things that keep us awake at night,

[00:03:41] exploring the what ifs that excite us

[00:03:44] and otherwise not becoming the best version of ourselves

[00:03:47] is failing.

[00:03:49] Sure, by taking action,

[00:03:50] you may fail by traditional standards

[00:03:53] but inaction can be failing too.

[00:03:55] I think its consequences could be larger

[00:03:57] than trying and failing.

[00:04:00] Not living up to your true potential

[00:04:01] and allowing your talents, passions

[00:04:03] and abilities to explode forth can be considered failing.

[00:04:08] In this light, taking that chance

[00:04:10] isn't nearly so intimidating, is it?

[00:04:13] Let's redefine how we view failure.

[00:04:16] Changing how we view failure.

[00:04:18] How can you not allow fear of the what ifs

[00:04:21] prevent you from taking action?

[00:04:23] Perhaps more importantly,

[00:04:25] when you do take action and things don't go as planned,

[00:04:28] how can you view failure as a positive experience?

[00:04:31] First, you must acknowledge that you have a choice

[00:04:34] in how you view failure.

[00:04:36] This is best explained by Dr. Carol Dweck

[00:04:38] in her book, Mindset.

[00:04:41] In the book, she reveals that we have a choice

[00:04:42] between two mindsets, a fixed and growth mindset

[00:04:46] and they can apply to any area of life

[00:04:48] including how we view failure.

[00:04:51] As a brief overview,

[00:04:53] those who have a fixed mindset believe intelligence

[00:04:56] and other traits they possess were what they were born with,

[00:04:59] meaning these traits cannot be changed.

[00:05:02] Either you have it, whatever it is or you don't.

[00:05:07] Those with a growth mindset believe how we are born

[00:05:10] is just a starting point,

[00:05:12] that we can increase our intelligence,

[00:05:14] learn new skills and change our traits.

[00:05:17] As Dweck says in her book,

[00:05:19] quote, becoming is better than being, end quote.

[00:05:24] This means that you can improve your skills

[00:05:26] and do the things you want to do.

[00:05:28] You don't have to give in to the false notion

[00:05:30] that you must be born that way.

[00:05:33] It all comes down to a choice.

[00:05:35] You can choose which mindset you want to adopt

[00:05:38] and this can be applied to how we view failures.

[00:05:41] Those with a growth mindset view failures

[00:05:43] as opportunities to improve their skills

[00:05:46] and perhaps most importantly,

[00:05:48] those with a growth mindset believe that failure

[00:05:51] is an experience, not an identity.

[00:05:55] It's an opportunity to strengthen your grit,

[00:05:58] to learn, to grow,

[00:06:00] to gain knowledge you can't attain

[00:06:02] from reading a stack of books on a given subject,

[00:06:05] to become a better, more experienced version of yourself

[00:06:08] than would otherwise be possible.

[00:06:10] Failure is one of our greatest teachers

[00:06:12] and we'd be wise to heed its lessons.

[00:06:16] The next time you're paralyzed by fear

[00:06:17] and tempted to snuggle back into your comfort zone

[00:06:20] where scary things don't happen,

[00:06:22] look at the situation differently.

[00:06:24] Could you feel worse by not taking the chance,

[00:06:27] doing the thing or fill in the blank here?

[00:06:30] Could not taking action lead to far greater consequences

[00:06:33] than if you tried and failed?

[00:06:36] As a personal example,

[00:06:37] I published dozens of articles on this website

[00:06:39] that scare the crap out of me to put in front of your eyes.

[00:06:42] Why?

[00:06:43] Because some people may get offended

[00:06:45] or hate the content or think I'm an idiot.

[00:06:48] I've received hate mail for my experiences and views,

[00:06:51] but I've reasoned it out that not sharing certain things

[00:06:54] is a bigger failure than posting these articles

[00:06:57] and facing potential criticism.

[00:06:59] As a result of the articles published here,

[00:07:01] I've had the privilege of connecting with others

[00:07:03] who have had similar experiences and I've helped many.

[00:07:07] In this instance, not posting articles,

[00:07:10] not taking action because I'm afraid of failing

[00:07:13] and receiving negative feedback

[00:07:15] not sharing something extremely helpful

[00:07:18] would be a bigger failure

[00:07:19] because I wouldn't be helping others.

[00:07:22] I'll continue to take action

[00:07:23] and not allow unconstructive criticism to affect me.

[00:07:27] From my perspective, as shown with that one small example,

[00:07:31] failure can happen because you don't act.

[00:07:35] What if you take action and do end up failing anyway?

[00:07:38] First, have some compassion for yourself.

[00:07:41] Second, harness the growth mindset

[00:07:43] and use that experience to make you better,

[00:07:45] smarter and more resilient.

[00:07:47] You can do this if you want to.

[00:07:49] Remember, it's a learning experience.

[00:07:51] It doesn't define you.

[00:07:54] In the end, we all have a choice.

[00:07:56] When it comes to failure, don't fear it.

[00:07:59] Not doing the things you want to do can be a bigger failure.

[00:08:03] Should you encounter failure, learn from it.

[00:08:06] While it may be a suck fest at the time,

[00:08:08] you can choose to use that experience to grow.

[00:08:12] To quote Dr. Dweck one last time,

[00:08:15] quote, you can look back on your life and say,

[00:08:18] I could have been, or you can look back and say,

[00:08:21] I gave my all for the things I valued.

[00:08:29] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:08:31] Think You Can Fail Only If You Try?

[00:08:33] Think Again by Nia Shanks of niashanks.com

[00:08:37] and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:10:20] Dr. Neil here for my commentary.

[00:10:22] If we find we're stuck in a back and forth argument

[00:10:25] with ourselves, the one today's author Nia talked about

[00:10:27] in the beginning of the episode,

[00:10:29] you know where we say,

[00:10:30] if I do this thing, I could fail miserably,

[00:10:34] or if I do this thing, the result may not be what I intended.

[00:10:38] What could end up happening

[00:10:40] is we end up convincing ourselves

[00:10:42] that it's just not worth taking the risk

[00:10:44] and doing that thing that we're scared of.

[00:10:47] But there's a way to get ourselves

[00:10:48] out of this endless debate loop going on in our heads

[00:10:51] and possibly get closer to taking action.

[00:10:55] In fact, Nia's suggestions in today's article

[00:10:58] help us get started on this path.

[00:11:00] Nia said that we need to look at the situation differently.

[00:11:03] For example, we could ask ourselves,

[00:11:05] could we fail worse by not taking the chance?

[00:11:08] And could not taking action lead to far greater consequences

[00:11:13] than if we tried and failed?

[00:11:15] But before we answer these questions,

[00:11:17] take out a piece of paper

[00:11:19] and draw a line down the center of it.

[00:11:22] On the left side of the line and at the top of the page,

[00:11:25] write the word cons.

[00:11:27] On the right side of the line and at the top of the page,

[00:11:30] write the word pros.

[00:11:32] Yes, you heard right.

[00:11:34] Create a good old fashioned pros and cons list.

[00:11:37] So when we ask ourselves the questions Nia posed

[00:11:41] in today's article, like could not taking action

[00:11:44] lead to far greater consequences

[00:11:45] than if we tried and failed,

[00:11:47] write down the pros and cons of taking that action.

[00:11:51] And notice, I suggest starting out

[00:11:53] by listing the cons first.

[00:11:55] That's why they're on the left side of the page.

[00:11:58] Then end by listing the pros.

[00:12:01] By ending on a positive note,

[00:12:03] this will hopefully help get us

[00:12:05] into the right mindset to take action.

[00:12:07] And of course, like I always say,

[00:12:09] writing things down helps make this more real.

[00:12:13] It tricks the brain into thinking

[00:12:15] there's already some positive things happening.

[00:12:19] All right, that'll do it for today.

[00:12:21] I hope you have a great rest of your day

[00:12:23] and I'll see you back here tomorrow

[00:12:24] where your optimal life awaits.