2587: A Guide to Letting Go of Stress by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Anxiety Relief & Self-Help

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[00:01:05] This is Optimal Health Daily Episode 2587, A Guide to Letting Go of Stress by Leo Babauta

[00:01:12] of zenhabits.net. And I'm Dr. Neal, your very own personal narrator.

[00:01:17] Hey there, welcome to a Thursday edition of Optimal Health Daily. This is one of a few shows

[00:01:22] where we read to you from blogs for free so that you don't have to read them yourself.

[00:01:27] Except on Fridays, that's where I answer your questions. Alright, and with that,

[00:01:32] let's get right to today's post as we optimize your life. A Guide to Letting Go of Stress by

[00:01:42] Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net. We all deal with stress on a daily basis, whether it's the stress

[00:01:49] of being busy and overwhelmed at work, having to deal with personal crises, traffic, relationships,

[00:01:56] health, finances. Stress can be a big part of our lives. And stress has some strong effects.

[00:02:03] It makes us less happy, less effective, less open-hearted in our relationships. It tires us out,

[00:02:10] makes us less healthy and can even create mental health issues if it rises to levels of anxiety.

[00:02:16] So let's look at how to let go of stress whenever we notice it.

[00:02:20] What You're Struggling With

[00:02:22] Why do we get stressed out, feel anxiety or feel overwhelmed? Because we want the world to be calm,

[00:02:28] orderly, comfortable and the world isn't going to go along with those wishes.

[00:02:33] Things are out of control, not orderly, not simple, full of interruptions and unplanned events,

[00:02:38] health problems and accidents and things never go as we planned or imagined. But this is the way

[00:02:44] the world is. The stress comes not because the world is messy and chaotic but because we desire

[00:02:50] it to be different than it is. We have ideals for how other people should be, how we should be,

[00:02:57] how everything around us should be. These ideals aren't a problem. The problem is that we are

[00:03:02] attached to these ideals and this attachment causes us stress. The good news is that we can

[00:03:09] let go of our attachment and the world doesn't need to change one iota. We can let go and in

[00:03:15] doing so, we let go of our stress. How To Let Go Of The Stress

[00:03:21] Let's say you're experiencing a moment of stress right now. Something isn't going the way you'd

[00:03:26] like, things are chaotic or overwhelming, someone isn't acting the way you'd like or you're worried

[00:03:31] about something coming up. The first practice is to drop into your body and notice how the stress

[00:03:37] feels, physically. Be present with the feeling. It's not a problem to have stress in your body,

[00:03:43] it's just a physical feeling. You can observe the physical sensation and just be with it. This can

[00:03:49] be your whole practice and it only has to take a few moments. The second practice is to notice

[00:03:55] the ideal or your narrative about the situation. What's causing this stress in your body? You have

[00:04:01] some ideal about how the world should be, how the other person should be and how you should be.

[00:04:07] And the world, the person or you are not meeting that ideal. Notice that right now. Notice what

[00:04:14] you're saying to yourself about it. They shouldn't act like that. I don't like this. I'm such a screw

[00:04:19] up and not worthy of love. What do you say to yourself? Is this a familiar narrative? Notice

[00:04:26] that the ideal and the narrative are causing the effect of the stress, anxiety, fear and feeling

[00:04:32] of overwhelm. They aren't serving you very well. Also notice that they are completely fabricated

[00:04:38] by your mind. You created this ideal and the narrative. They are harming you and you made

[00:04:44] up this dream. That's nothing to beat yourself up about but just to recognize. The good news,

[00:04:50] if you created it, you can let it go as well. The third practice is to let go and just be.

[00:04:58] What would it be like to be in this moment without the ideal and the narrative? You'd be at peace.

[00:05:04] You'd be present in this moment. You'd be free. Perhaps you'd be more loving to yourself or

[00:05:10] others. Ask yourself what it would be like to not have the ideal and narrative. See if you can feel

[00:05:17] what it would be like just for a moment. In that moment, you are free. You can relax, open your mind

[00:05:23] beyond your self-concern and just be. This is a state of openness that you can drop into at any

[00:05:30] moment. Just notice the sensations of this moment, the sensations of your body, of your surroundings.

[00:05:37] Notice the other people in your life and their beautiful hearts. Notice how amazing it is to

[00:05:42] be alive right now. What a gift it is to have sight, hearing, taste and a body. What a privilege!

[00:05:49] What a joy! You don't have to be grateful and joyous in every moment, but this freedom of dropping

[00:05:55] ideal and narrative and being at peace? It's always available. Even in moments of chaos, you can be free

[00:06:02] and even appreciate the beauty of the chaos. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:11] A Guide to Letting Go of Stress by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net and I'll be right back with my

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[00:07:23] Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. Today's author Leo had some really

[00:07:29] great suggestions about how to cope with the stress we may be experiencing. He mentioned how

[00:07:34] it can be helpful to let go and just be. For me, that's something I struggle with. I've never been

[00:07:41] the type of person to just let things go. Instead, I tend to overthink and hyper focus. But something

[00:07:48] that I use and have shared with my clients and even my students is this trick. On a piece of paper,

[00:07:54] draw two vertical lines about the same distance apart. So you now have three columns on the page.

[00:08:01] In the first column on the left side of the page, list the three biggest stressors in your life at

[00:08:07] the moment and try to include as much detail as possible. For example, instead of just writing down

[00:08:14] money problems, write down I'm worried that I won't have enough money in the bank account

[00:08:19] to make next month's rent. Then in the middle column next to each stressor you listed in the

[00:08:26] previous step, remember you want to write down more than just one. In this middle column, write

[00:08:31] down whether you have any control over each specific situation. So using the last example of feeling

[00:08:39] worried about not having enough money in the bank, we would ask ourselves, is the amount of money in

[00:08:44] my bank account something that's within my control? If yes, write yes in that middle column. If no,

[00:08:52] write no. You can also write maybe if that applies. The key is to be honest with ourselves.

[00:08:58] I would say that we have control over how much money is in our bank account.

[00:09:03] So then in the last column, since we have control over the money in our bank account,

[00:09:08] we write down what we're going to do to improve the situation. Maybe it's saving an extra $10

[00:09:15] from every paycheck every two weeks and putting that directly into a savings account. We then

[00:09:21] repeat this process for the other stressors we listed in the first column. Now what happens if

[00:09:28] we wrote a maybe in that middle column? We still use the same approach. If we have some control over

[00:09:34] the stressful situation and it's possible to improve things, then let's do it. But what if we

[00:09:41] said that we have no control over the stressful situation we described in the first column?

[00:09:45] Then what? Well, if we truly have no control over it, then we do just as today's author Leo said.

[00:09:52] We let it go and just be. Why stress over something we have no control over?

[00:09:59] Try this three-column strategy and see how it goes. And when stress starts to build up again,

[00:10:03] go back to it. Alright, that'll do it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening.

[00:10:09] Thank you for being a subscriber or follower of the show. I hope you have a great rest of your day

[00:10:14] and I'll see you back here tomorrow for another Friday Q&A, where your optimal life awaits!