2658: It's Always Your Fault by Roger Lawson on Physical Fitness Inspiration

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[00:01:11] roglawfitness.com and I'm Dr. Neal Malik, your host and narrator. Hey there! Happy middle of the week Wednesday and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily where I simply read to you from the best health and fitness blogs for free. And on Fridays,

[00:01:25] I answer your questions. You can send in a question by going to oldpodcast.com slash ask or just send an email to health at oldpodcast.com. Now, today is Wednesday and like I do every

[00:01:41] Wednesday, I like to share a bit of inspiration with you. And today's quote fits in perfectly with the theme of the post I'm about to read to you. You'll soon see why. But let me give you the inspiration first. Quote,

[00:01:55] The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Alright, let's keep that quote in mind as we get to today's post and optimize your life. It's Always Your Fault by Roger Lawson of roglawfitness.com.

[00:02:18] Imagine you're the passenger on a bus. You pull the cord to let the driver know that your stop is coming up. But instead of slowing down, they slam their foot on the gas and veer out of control

[00:02:29] as they turn to stare at you. Their hair is disheveled. Shirt filled with random stains and the funk of one thousand years invades your nostrils. Their eyes are bloodshot and the last

[00:02:39] good tooth they had abandoned ship years ago. For all you know, they may not even be wearing pants. And that's when it finally hits you. Wherever you want to go, this bus definitely isn't getting

[00:02:51] you there. Why victimhood is killing your gains. Have you ever felt like things were constantly happening to you and that you were just a passenger along for the ride? It's exactly like being on that bus, except way worse because it's actually your life. I've been there and on

[00:03:09] been there and on any given day, I can easily slip right back into that passenger seat if I'm not careful. Blaming, defending, complaining, these are all tools of the trade. And I get it.

[00:03:22] Sinking into that victim mentality and letting it run amok has a certain seductive appeal to it. When in that mode, it's easy to think that you've got it all figured out and that if only those

[00:03:32] other people out there would get their act together, you wouldn't be in this predicament. You'd be in much better shape if your co-workers would stop bringing all sorts of treats and delectable fatty foods into the office. You would have time to hit the gym if people stopped making

[00:03:46] so many demands on your time. When dieting for a photo shoot, I felt myself mentally blaming friends I was going out to eat with. How could they order that when they know I'm trying to get

[00:03:57] mad sexy? And why are these french fries so delicious? Doesn't this restaurant know they're my favorite and that I can't possibly resist? On the outside, I played it cool. On the inside,

[00:04:09] I was whiny and had a pretty bad case of the emo. It's tempting to feel like you're always the one in the right, making it easy to blame everything on something outside of you and keeping the

[00:04:20] pristine image of yourself intact. That's taking the easy, low-effort approach to living life. Blaming others will never better you. It only ensures that you stay exactly where you are and miss out on the best parts of life. Whenever I find myself playing the victim, I tell myself one

[00:04:38] thing that never fails to pull me back from the brink of destruction. It's always your fault. You are not exercising as much as you'd like. It's completely your fault. Looking like Captain America pre-Super Soldier serum? Certainly your fault. Do you feel like you can't create the kind

[00:04:56] of relationship that you want to be in? It's definitely your fault. Are your eating habits spiraling out of control and it's wreaking havoc on your mental and physical well-being? It's for sure your fault. If you're anything like me, hearing that something is your fault can make

[00:05:12] a piece of you immediately want to jump on the defensive. The goal here isn't to send you down a self-critical rabbit hole of shame and doubt, but to empower you. This is all about self-acceptance

[00:05:23] with as little judgment as possible. It's your fault is a helpful mental shortcut capable of sneaking past all of your hidden defense systems, leading to the end result of it being your responsibility. Let's say I kidnapped you and dropped you in a pile of quicksand, which I have

[00:05:39] on hand at all times of course. It's not your fault that I was a big ol' meanie and snatched you up while you were watching How I Met Your Mother, but if you want to live long enough to see another

[00:05:48] episode, then it's your responsibility to do something about getting out. If something involves you, you play a role in the situation and bear the responsibility of bringing about change. Own it all,

[00:06:02] the good, the bad, and the fugly. When you stop looking for things outside of yourself to blame, you're forced to look inward and search for ways to better yourself. Instead of all your resources going towards deflecting and complaining, they're now funneled towards finding solutions to get you

[00:06:20] where you want to go. Only by claiming responsibility can the process of true growth begin. Be your own hero. This is your life. Hold yourself accountable to it. You are responsible for

[00:06:32] everything in it, from the look of your physique to how you make a living and the quality of your personal interactions. Others can help you, so don't be afraid to ask for it. It's great if they

[00:06:43] do, but no one else is responsible for making anything happen in your life but you. No one is coming to save you. Fully embrace this fact. Stop the momentum dead in its tracks by asking this

[00:06:55] question, what's one thing I can do in this moment to help myself? No matter how small the answer that you come up with is, do that thing and then build off of it relentlessly. Regardless of your

[00:07:08] situation, there are dozens of things that you can do today to snatch your power back from the clause of victimhood and actively create the life you want to live. It's okay not to be perfect.

[00:07:19] It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to say you don't know but that you're still looking. It's not okay to blame your problems and struggles on others. Starting right now, you are no longer

[00:07:32] a victim. Action and a deep ever-evolving understanding of self is the only thing that can and will save you. Go forth and act boldly even if it looks like a hot mess until you get

[00:07:45] the hang of it. You just listened to the post titled, It's Always Your Fault by Roger Lawson of RajlaFitness.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. Dr. Neil here for my commentary.

[00:08:01] Remember the quote I shared with you at the beginning of the episode? In case you forgot, it went something like this, quote, The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be, Ralph Waldo Emerson. It complemented Roger's main takeaway so nicely.

[00:08:18] Take action. Take your power back. But understand it's your destiny we're talking about. And by the way, an added bonus of incorporating Roger's and Ralph Waldo Emerson's suggestions is that taking control over those things in our lives that we have some control over can actually

[00:08:35] reduce feelings of stress. Here's why. A common reason we start to feel stressed is because we're lacking control over something. For example, if we think about a boss or a teacher that's

[00:08:46] stressing us out and we really think about what it is that's so distressing to us about the situation, we'll probably find the root of the problem is because we feel we don't have enough control over

[00:08:57] the situation. We can't control the outcome. The boss is stressing us out because our team isn't pulling in the numbers that they want to see. Well, how can our team pull in those numbers when

[00:09:07] we don't have enough support to do that? See, lack of control. A teacher is stressing us out because we have no idea what they're going to test us on. Lack of control again. So we have to ask ourselves,

[00:09:19] how can we do our best to take control over the situation? We may not be able to control every aspect of that situation, but even if we take back some of that power, it will make us

[00:09:31] feel empowered and less stressed. And as Roger said in today's post, we'll no longer feel like a victim and by taking action, we'll have a better understanding of ourselves. All right, that'll do

[00:09:44] it for today. I hope you have a great rest of your Wednesday. Thank you so much for listening and I'll be back here tomorrow as usual. So I'll see you there where your optimal life awaits!