2694: How a “Do Nothing” Day Changed My Life by Hilary Barnett of No Sidebar on Intentional Rest & White Space

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[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_00]: the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Health Daily. How a Do Nothing Day

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Changed My Life by Hilary Barnett of NoSidebar.com and I'm Dr. Neal. Welcome to another Sunday bonus

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: episode. This is where I share an episode from another podcast in our network and this one today

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: is coming from my brother's podcast, Optimal Living Daily. You can find that podcast wherever

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: you're hearing this. So with that, here's my brother Justin as we optimize your life.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_01]: How a Do Nothing Day Changed My Life by Hilary Barnett of NoSidebar.com

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Doing nothing. The mere thought gives you a sudden twitch, right? Me too, my friend. But despite the

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_01]: like to make a proposal for one day out of each week, you do absolutely nothing. This doesn't mean

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_01]: you don't go anywhere or just sit on your couch and stare at the wall. It means simply that you

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: clear your calendar and make space for what could happen. You remove any social obligations, you let

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_01]: projects sit idle, you turn off your notifications, you simply take a day to just be. Ever since my

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_01]: first daughter was born, I felt the pull toward a do nothing day. I went back to work part-time

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_01]: when she was only 11 weeks old and when I spent time away from her, her demeanor and behavior

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_01]: was just different. She wasn't as settled and neither was I. I could tell she was a happier

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: kid when I was able to spend one day just being with her. So when we were able to be together on

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_01]: my days off, I tried to make it a point to have one day where we didn't have a million places to be

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_01]: if I could help it. No agenda, no rushing around, no one else to please. Just me and her together,

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_01]: doing whatever we felt like doing or getting into whatever adventure may come our way.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Recently I heard someone say if you want to see where your priorities really lie,

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_01]: look at two things. Your calendar and your bank statement. If you believe your priorities are

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_01]: what truly matters to you, look no further than those two places to confirm or deny your hunch.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_01]: The do nothing day. Let's do an experiment. Take a look at your calendar and take an inventory with

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: me. How much of it is work related? How much of it is spent in social engagements, with family,

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: doing hobbies, self-improvement? And how much white space do you see? We have become a culture that is

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_01]: severely uncomfortable with white space. We don't like being left alone with ourselves and that's

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_01]: because it's not always fun. We then have to face our true feelings, our negative emotions,

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01]: our relational drama and figure out what to do with it. It's much easier to simply turn on the TV,

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: check our phones and continue numbing. We're terrified of silence, of nothing on the agenda.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Who are we without these things to hold us up, to give us significance? We pack our schedules full

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_01]: hoping that will keep us from stopping long enough to notice our inner lives are in great

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_01]: need of attention. The essence of simplifying your life is recognizing you have intrinsic value by

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_01]: simply being. You matter, your life matters and you have worth, period. You matter without the stuff,

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_01]: without the outside approval and conferred significance, without the career, the projects,

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: the friends, without anything. Just you. It takes the absence of an agenda to really learn yourself.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_01]: It takes quiet, it takes room, it takes time but everything in the world is going to fight you for

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_01]: it. Learning to be comfortable with a do-nothing day isn't going to come easily. It's hard work

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_01]: but it is work worth doing. So today look at your calendar. What can you say no to just this time

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_01]: around? If there's a color notification on each day, which of those can you clear out? Which day

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_01]: can hold some white space, some possibility, some openness? Here are a few tips as you consider your

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01]: own do-nothing day. Number one, set it aside and make it known. We make things sacred through our

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: intentions and our actions. So set your intention. What day will it be? And then let some people close

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: to you know so they can support you in your effort. Number two, don't stress about it. Wake up and

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: simply resist the urge to immediately do. It might take time to break this habit but as soon as you

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_01]: remove all of your go-to distractions, you'll instantly notice how often you rely on them.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Number three, pay attention. Depriving ourselves of our normal comforts for even a short amount

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_01]: of time can go a long way in teaching us what we really need. We're able to notice when we have an

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_01]: urge to check our phone or make a call. We can get a better feel for our own patterns of behavior

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_01]: and the motivations behind them. Number four, listen to your heart. If someone invited you to attend

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_01]: something, don't simply give a knee-jerk response. Stop and wait. Is this something you would typically

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_01]: just say yes to because you feel obligated or is this something that would really breathe life

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_01]: into you? Notice and respond with authenticity and vulnerability. And number five, spend some time in

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_01]: silence. Our brains are constantly bombarded with information, images, and noise. We tend to assume

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01]: our minds are like fortresses and all this stimulation can simply bounce off but that is not

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_01]: the case. Our minds are vulnerable and everything we see and experience influences our thoughts and

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_01]: emotions. So for your do-nothing day, set a guard at the gate. You just listened to the post titled

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_01]: How a Do-Nothing Day Changed My Life by Hilary Barnett of nosidebar.com. Thank you to Hilary.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Now she said that she wasn't talking about doing absolutely nothing and staring at the wall

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_01]: but isn't it weird how if we really truly imagine doing nothing, like actually nothing for a day,

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_01]: not browsing our phones or watching tv or doing anything, it almost feels incredibly wasteful

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_01]: when in reality it could be defined as recharging or even just as an experience we can learn from,

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_01]: like an experiment of sorts. The closest thing that I know to doing nothing without actually

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_01]: literally doing nothing, by the way I think that's impossible because thoughts will pop up so you're

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: basically thinking, but anyway, the closest thing I think is meditating and some meditation centers

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: offer silent retreats. Now I've never done one but everyone that I've met that has done one

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_01]: has said it was an incredible experience. You're basically doing nothing for an extended period of

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_01]: time. It could be a day, a week or longer and you're not supposed to talk to anyone. You're

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_01]: really doing nothing for that period of time and shockingly people find it revolutionary and

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_01]: something they are so happy that they did. Again at least from the people I've talked to. That's kind

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: of crazy to think about. Honestly I think everyone could benefit from a little bit of doing absolutely

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_01]: nothing once in a while. So hopefully you get the chance to do a little bit of nothing today even if

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_01]: it's just for one minute as an experiment. Have a great morning, afternoon or evening whenever

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_01]: you're listening to this and I'll see you tomorrow where optimal life awaits.