2718: One Simple Question You Should Ask Everyone You Meet by Marc Chernoff of Marc and Angel

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Health Daily. One Simple Question You Should Ask Everyone You Meet by Marc Chernoff of Marc and Angel.com and I'm Dr. Neal.

[00:00:10] Welcome to another Sunday bonus episode. This is where I like to share an episode from another podcast in our network, usually overlapping a bit with what we talk about here.

[00:00:20] And today's comes from my brother's podcast, Optimal Living Daily. You can find that podcast wherever you're hearing this. So with that, here's my brother Justin as we optimize your life.

[00:00:35] One Simple Question You Should Ask Everyone You Meet by Marc Chernoff of Marc and Angel.com

[00:00:43] Quote, It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. The Invitation by Aria.

[00:00:55] I want to know what your story is. I don't care what you do or what you own. I just want to know who you are. I want to know your uniqueness, the experiences you've had and the lessons you've learned.

[00:01:08] I want to know your story. What is your story? Everyone has one and no two stories are exactly the same. There are over 7 billion people in this world and none are like you. You are unique.

[00:01:24] Your entire life journey including your upbringing, challenges, your hard-learned lessons, your experiences, achievements and gifts are all a series of footprints that have brought you to this very moment in time as you hear these words.

[00:01:40] Every person you walk or drive past on the street has their own story. Every person in front of you in line at the grocery store has their own story. Every friend and work colleague in your life has their own story.

[00:01:52] The old man who lives alone up the street from me and wanders past my house each day has his own story. The girl on the train sitting opposite me right now who has small tears welling up in her eyes, she has her own story.

[00:02:06] The boy in the library who never stops laughing even when his mother constantly asks him to be quiet, he has his own story too. Think about the millions of moments, the series of events that leads each person to cross your path. Who are they really underneath that exterior? Where did they come from? What do they long for? What makes them tick? Will you ask?

[00:02:30] Life is a tapestry of people weaving in and out of your life. These people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Every one of them has something to offer and share with you. Imagine treating every person you encounter no matter how fleeting as an intriguing story waiting to be told. But the story can only be told if someone asks to hear it. Will you ask?

[00:02:56] That person you see standing before you, no matter who they are, young or old, rich or poor, rude or kind, it's like a blockbuster movie ready to enthrall you. But first, you have to buy a ticket. Small talk at cocktail parties.

[00:03:13] As I stood in a room full of people at a cocktail party once, I realized that every opening conversation was dominated by this question. What do you do? We seek to understand and define people by their doing in the world. Yes, literally, and for some reason, we default to categorizing and ranking the entire worth of the people we meet based on what they do. And I think that seriously dehumanizes us.

[00:03:41] Does what you do matter more than who you are? Absolutely not. What you do is only a small fraction of who you are as a human being. Do we care about each other enough and are we interested enough in what we can learn from each other to stop asking, what do you do and start asking, who are you? What is your story? So I'd love to ask you something, and I'm not asking a rhetorical question. I really want to know.

[00:04:07] What is your story? Where were you born? Where do you live now? What is the most important life lesson you've learned thus far? What makes you smile on an average day? What is your deepest and most persistent fear? What is your greatest dream for your life? And who are you?

[00:04:26] Normalizing the question. There's only one way to normalize this what is your story question in our society, and that's by starting to ask it, and by each of us individually being willing to answer it wholeheartedly knowing that the person asking genuinely wants to know.

[00:04:43] Superficial chit-chat about what we do and what we own doesn't have to dominate our interactions with those closest to us or with complete strangers. I probably don't know you at all. You're a complete stranger to me, but I genuinely want to know your answers. I'll go first. Here's my story. I invite you to respond with your answers, supporting a movement to normalize caring more about who people are than what they do and own.

[00:05:10] I was born in Miami, Florida. After traveling all over the world, Japan, Australia, etc., and living all around the country, San Diego, Austin, etc., alongside my wife Angel, we decided to settle down in Jupiter, Florida to raise our son reasonably close to his grandparents and our extended family.

[00:05:29] Early on in our marriage, well over a decade ago, Angel and I were knocked down hard and stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to suicide and illness. These losses, along with the grief we felt, impacted both our marriage and our individual emotional wellness for a long time.

[00:05:50] This tragic season of our lives taught us so much, but the most important lesson we learned, which is perhaps the most important lesson of our lives thus far, is that we as human beings are capable of healing and growing stronger through life's most painful changes.

[00:06:07] My son Mac playing loudly with his toys and laughing his little heart out is what makes me smile the most, even after I've had a long day. One of my deepest and most persistent fears, which is actually somewhat common among the people I've coached over the years, is the fear of taking risks to follow a dream and then failing miserably in the process.

[00:06:28] In other words, failure, which I intellectually know is good for my personal growth, still gives me plenty of anxiety. My greatest dream is to move gracefully forward each day with an open and present mindset alongside people I love and respect, listening, learning, exploring, questioning, and discovering as much about the human condition and life as I can.

[00:06:54] And continuing to write books, email newsletters, and blog posts to share my lessons learned with you. I'm a little spark of divinity out here having a life experience, as I believe we all are. Your turn. You just listened to the post titled, One Simple Question You Should Ask Everyone You Meet by Mark Chernoff of MarkAndAngel.com.

[00:07:20] Taking charge of my health has been a priority for me, but navigating today's one-size-fits-all healthcare system can feel overwhelming. That's why I'm so excited about 23andMe Plus Total Health. It's not just a health membership. It's a way to get personalized insights that matter to me. For me, reaching the next level of health means understanding my genetic blueprint and what it says about my future risks. It's about being proactive, not reactive.

[00:07:48] With 23andMe Plus Total Health, I've begun leveraging advanced genetic screening and comprehensive blood tests. Getting started was a breeze. I received a sleek kit in the mail which made diving into my health journey both easy and exciting. What intrigues me the most is the biological age analysis. It's fascinating to see how lifestyle changes can influence how old I really am inside.

[00:08:12] Plus, having access to clinicians with genetics expertise to guide me through a personalized health plan feels incredibly empowering. Advocate for your health today. Go to 23andme.com slash OHD to receive 10% off. That's 10% off at 23andme.com slash OHD.

[00:08:34] Thank you to Mark. This one reminds me of a friend I have that really dislikes the what do you do question. Years ago, before I started this podcast, someone he didn't know who I knew walked up to us and asked, what do you do? We're having a game night and his answer was, I like playing games. And she persisted. Oh yeah, me too. But like, what do you actually do? And he said, I play games.

[00:09:03] He did have a full time job at the time that wasn't playing games. And while that sort of attitude might come across as a bit, maybe rude to some people, he just naturally has this mindset built in him that the question, what do you do? Isn't usually very valuable. We can come across as a way to size someone up like Mark said in this post.

[00:09:22] And often what people do from nine to five isn't what they're passionate about. So if they're planning to play some games, the last thing they want to talk about is work. Now me personally, I don't mind, but I do think some of the questions Mark mentioned in this post are far better. Even where are you from? Which he mentioned, because maybe you can learn about a city you've never visited, or maybe you have that in common with that person.

[00:09:48] Maybe there's a really nice restaurant or activity in that city or that is known for that you can put on your list of things to try compared to I'm an analyst, which was my job previously and would not excite me too much to talk about. And if you actually do want to share your story, I am all ears. You can always get in touch at old podcast.com or by replying to my weekly newsletter. I do read every single reply.

[00:10:14] I'll leave you there for today. Have a great rest of your day, hopefully hearing other people's stories and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.