2728: What’s Behind Emotional Overeating? by Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive on Unhealthy Relationships with Food

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[00:01:10] What's Behind Emotional Overeating?

[00:01:13] By Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive.org

[00:01:16] And I'm Dr. Neil Malek.

[00:01:18] Hey there, happy Monday and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily,

[00:01:22] where I act as your narrator of the best health and fitness blogs, all for free.

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[00:01:45] What's Behind Emotional Overeating?

[00:01:48] By Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive.org

[00:01:52] I remember when Michelle Obama made a special guest appearance on the long-running hit TV show,

[00:01:58] The Biggest Loser.

[00:01:59] I'd heard about the show's premise.

[00:02:01] Contestants who struggle with obesity and often face serious health risks relocate to a fitness ranch,

[00:02:07] where together they learn about nutrition, diet, and exercise while competing to lose weight.

[00:02:13] But I had never watched it until I saw the episode featuring the then first lady.

[00:02:18] The contestants were invited to the White House where

[00:02:20] Mrs. Obama, in her typically down-to-earth and enthusiastic manner,

[00:02:25] joined in on the show's intense workout

[00:02:27] in an effort to spotlight the importance of diet and exercise.

[00:02:31] While the issue of obesity and poor nutrition are of tremendous significance,

[00:02:35] as our country struggles to get fit,

[00:02:38] we should also be shedding light on the emotional side of eating.

[00:02:41] Whatever one may think of The Biggest Loser's reality TV editing or competitive format,

[00:02:47] one thing I personally appreciate is that the show acknowledges that the factors contributing to obesity,

[00:02:53] food addiction, and weight gain go deeper than the surface.

[00:02:57] Contestants are encouraged to uncover and understand the psychological and emotional roots

[00:03:02] and implications of their struggle with their weight.

[00:03:05] When it comes to our relationship with food,

[00:03:08] there's much more going on than we would often assume.

[00:03:11] Like any addictive substance,

[00:03:13] food is often used to cover or subdue emotional pain.

[00:03:17] It's used to numb or soothe us,

[00:03:20] yet it is also used to torment us or cause us anxiety.

[00:03:24] Struggles with eating and weight gain usually start early,

[00:03:28] when our relationship with food is first established.

[00:03:30] One contestant on The Biggest Loser described how the physical abuse he experienced throughout his childhood

[00:03:36] left him with a desire to somehow shield himself both physically and emotionally.

[00:03:42] Growing up with a violent and erratic stepfather and a fearful mother who failed to protect him,

[00:03:48] he used food to

[00:03:49] feel bigger,

[00:03:51] safer,

[00:03:51] and comforted.

[00:03:52] It's easy to see how such an extreme example of physical abuse

[00:03:56] could lead a child to start to use food as consolation and weight as armor.

[00:04:02] However, it is far more difficult to identify how more subtle forms of mistreatment,

[00:04:07] misattunement,

[00:04:08] and abuse can lead to issues with eating.

[00:04:11] As children,

[00:04:12] we all experience varying degrees of emotional pain.

[00:04:16] The love,

[00:04:17] care,

[00:04:17] and nurturance we get from our caregivers

[00:04:19] lead us to form a positive sense of self

[00:04:22] and helps us to create our identity.

[00:04:26] Yet no parent or person is perfect.

[00:04:29] Even the best parents are only attuned to their child's needs about 30% of the time.

[00:04:34] This means that as children,

[00:04:36] each of us was inevitably left lacking certain things we needed.

[00:04:40] We may have felt rejected,

[00:04:42] isolated,

[00:04:43] unseen,

[00:04:44] or unheard.

[00:04:45] Conversely,

[00:04:46] we may have felt intruded on,

[00:04:47] overly controlled,

[00:04:48] or intimidated by our parents.

[00:04:51] All of these factors could have impacted our relationship with food.

[00:04:55] We literally and figuratively learned how to feed ourselves from how we were nurtured by our parents

[00:05:01] and influential caretakers.

[00:05:03] Many of us eat for reasons other than to nourish our bodies,

[00:05:07] or even to enjoy one of life's pleasures.

[00:05:09] To understand why we overeat,

[00:05:11] it's valuable to identify what the emotions are that lead us to mindlessly snack,

[00:05:17] overindulge,

[00:05:18] or binge.

[00:05:19] Are these feelings familiar?

[00:05:21] Do they bring up any memories or remind us of ways we felt in our past?

[00:05:25] Do our patterns of eating remind us of ways we saw our parents use food or other substances?

[00:05:30] Or, conversely,

[00:05:32] might our actions seem like a reaction to ways we saw our parents use food or other substances?

[00:05:37] A woman I know tells a story of her 30-year struggle with her weight.

[00:05:41] One of her earliest memories is of being barely over a year old

[00:05:45] and crying through the night for her bottle,

[00:05:47] while neither her mother nor her father woke to feed her.

[00:05:51] Night after night,

[00:05:53] hungry and alone,

[00:05:54] she would wait,

[00:05:55] but no one came.

[00:05:56] Finally,

[00:05:57] one morning when her mother brought her bottle,

[00:05:59] the child took the bottle,

[00:06:00] and even though she was starving,

[00:06:02] she refused it,

[00:06:03] and threw it on the floor.

[00:06:05] She recalls that something shut down in her,

[00:06:08] and she never wanted food from her mother again.

[00:06:10] As she grew up,

[00:06:12] her relationship with food was further complicated by her mother's own struggle with weight

[00:06:16] and consistent focus on her young daughter's figure.

[00:06:19] As a result,

[00:06:20] the woman grew up suffering from binge eating,

[00:06:23] overfeeding herself with a desperation

[00:06:25] that indicated a disconnectedness from her body.

[00:06:29] She had trouble distinguishing her real feelings of hunger

[00:06:32] from a desire to fill herself up.

[00:06:34] People with eating disorders,

[00:06:36] both overeaters and anorexics,

[00:06:39] disregard their own values and personal goals

[00:06:41] in relation to their health,

[00:06:42] looks,

[00:06:43] and lifestyle.

[00:06:44] They use food to feel bad about themselves,

[00:06:47] to punish themselves,

[00:06:48] or to gain a sense of control.

[00:06:50] Instead of using it to fuel their bodies,

[00:06:52] they use food to fuel a cycle of self-hatred and self-protection.

[00:06:56] All of us have an inner coach,

[00:06:58] or critical inner voice,

[00:07:00] that lures us into destructive behavior,

[00:07:02] then pounces on us the minute we mess up.

[00:07:05] The critical inner voice is a driving force behind an eating disorder,

[00:07:09] and to challenge an unhealthy relationship with food,

[00:07:12] a person must deal with this internal enemy.

[00:07:16] We live in a society that supports being slim,

[00:07:19] sometimes to the extreme.

[00:07:21] This unrealistic ideal

[00:07:23] can be used in the service of our inner critic

[00:07:26] to put ourselves down,

[00:07:27] to feel inadequate,

[00:07:28] or to isolate us from the world around us.

[00:07:31] Failing to identify our critical voices as they come up

[00:07:34] leaves us more at risk for falling off the wagon.

[00:07:38] However,

[00:07:39] we can challenge our voices

[00:07:40] by not engaging in the behaviors they are supporting,

[00:07:43] and even though they may initially become louder,

[00:07:46] enticing us and telling us we will fail,

[00:07:49] the more we ignore them,

[00:07:50] the more they lose their hold on us,

[00:07:52] and the stronger we become.

[00:07:54] To have a healthy body,

[00:07:56] it is necessary for us to take action

[00:07:58] of a physical level with diet and exercise,

[00:08:00] but to have a healthy relationship with food,

[00:08:03] it's necessary for us to understand ourselves

[00:08:05] on a deeper emotional level,

[00:08:07] or to uncover why we eat the way we eat.

[00:08:11] If we challenge the behaviors alone

[00:08:13] through diet and exercise,

[00:08:15] the emotions we were using eating to cover up

[00:08:17] won't just go away.

[00:08:19] Once we identify the feelings and inner voices

[00:08:22] that perpetuate the cycle of self-hatred

[00:08:24] and the insensitivity to our body,

[00:08:26] we can gain control of self-destructive eating habits,

[00:08:30] and not react adversely to pressure and triggers

[00:08:33] that lead us to abuse food.

[00:08:35] By taking action on a physical level

[00:08:38] and taking interest on an emotional level,

[00:08:40] we can reestablish our relationship with food,

[00:08:43] with our bodies,

[00:08:44] with our past,

[00:08:45] and with ourselves as a whole.

[00:08:47] We can uncover who we really are,

[00:08:49] our real wants,

[00:08:50] desires,

[00:08:51] and goals,

[00:08:51] and we can stop engaging in the patterns

[00:08:54] that get in our way.

[00:08:59] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:09:01] What's Behind Emotional Overeating?

[00:09:03] by Dr. Lisa Firestone of psychalive.org,

[00:09:07] and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:09:09] Dr. Neil here for my commentary.

[00:09:12] Reestablishing our relationship with food

[00:09:14] and our past can take time

[00:09:16] and require help from a healthcare professional

[00:09:19] like a psychologist or psychiatrist.

[00:09:22] Because these behaviors

[00:09:23] may be deep-rooted from our past,

[00:09:25] they may be particularly difficult to change.

[00:09:28] If we're interested in becoming more aware

[00:09:30] of our relationship with food,

[00:09:32] one step we can take

[00:09:33] is to start keeping a food record.

[00:09:35] So a food record typically involves

[00:09:37] keeping track of

[00:09:38] the time we ate,

[00:09:39] what we ate,

[00:09:41] how it was prepared,

[00:09:42] how much we ate,

[00:09:44] and so on.

[00:09:44] But noting our feelings

[00:09:46] before, during,

[00:09:47] and after we eat

[00:09:49] can help us find that relationship

[00:09:51] between food and our feelings.

[00:09:54] For example,

[00:09:56] did we eat because we were truly hungry?

[00:09:58] Or did we eat because

[00:09:59] we were feeling stressed?

[00:10:02] Or anxious?

[00:10:03] Or bored?

[00:10:04] Or happy?

[00:10:05] Keeping this kind of food record

[00:10:07] and looking at patterns

[00:10:08] can help you

[00:10:10] and or your psychologist

[00:10:11] or psychiatrist

[00:10:12] get to the root of the issue.

[00:10:15] So if you or a loved one

[00:10:16] are experiencing

[00:10:17] emotional overeating,

[00:10:19] please don't hesitate

[00:10:20] to contact a healthcare professional.

[00:10:22] And if you're not sure

[00:10:23] where to start,

[00:10:24] your primary care provider

[00:10:25] is a great resource.

[00:10:27] All right,

[00:10:28] that'll do it for today.

[00:10:29] I hope you have a great start

[00:10:30] to your week

[00:10:31] and I'll see you back here

[00:10:32] tomorrow as usual

[00:10:33] where your optimal life awaits.

[00:10:35] Let's see you next time.

[00:10:36] Let's see you next time.

[00:10:36] Thank you.