2771: How to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body in 5 Words by Lizzie Merritt on Compassion & Gratitude
Optimal Health DailyNovember 14, 2024
2771
00:11:33

2771: How to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body in 5 Words by Lizzie Merritt on Compassion & Gratitude

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Episode 2771:

Lizzie Merritt shares five transformative, words enough, surrender, trust, compassion, and gratitude, that guide us to heal our relationship with our bodies from the inside out. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, understanding cravings' emotional roots, and finding peace through self-compassion and gratitude practices.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-words-to-heal-your-relationship-with-your-body/

Quotes to ponder:

"I realized I was always looking for something outside of myself to help me reach my goal."

"Instead of repeatedly saying awful things to myself, I have learned that a more successful path is to think, ‘How can I learn from it?’"

"Our body’s natural default setting is to be healthy."

Episode references:

Thich Nhat Hanh teachings: https://plumvillage.org

The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal: https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583335080

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[00:00:57] This is Optimal Health Daily.

[00:00:59] How to heal your relationship with your body in five words

[00:01:02] by Lizzie Merritt with tinybuddha.com

[00:01:05] and I'm Dr. Neil, your very own personal narrator.

[00:01:08] Hey there, welcome to a Thursday edition

[00:01:10] of Optimal Health Daily.

[00:01:12] This is one of a few shows

[00:01:13] where we read to you from blogs for free

[00:01:15] so that you don't have to read them yourself

[00:01:17] except on Fridays.

[00:01:19] That's where I answer your questions.

[00:01:21] But with that, let's keep this intro nice and short

[00:01:24] so we can get right to today's post

[00:01:26] as we optimize your life.

[00:01:32] How to heal your relationship with your body in five words

[00:01:35] by Lizzie Merritt with tinybuddha.com

[00:01:39] Quote,

[00:01:40] To be beautiful means to be yourself.

[00:01:43] You don't need to be accepted by others.

[00:01:45] You need to accept yourself.

[00:01:48] Thich Nhat Hanh

[00:01:50] There I was reading yet another diet book.

[00:01:53] It was the spring of 2013.

[00:01:54] I was routinely doing intense workouts

[00:01:57] in my living room at 5 a.m.

[00:01:59] Then I would go teach group fitness classes

[00:02:01] later in the day.

[00:02:02] By that point,

[00:02:03] I had tried all kinds of diets.

[00:02:05] In fact, I had lost count.

[00:02:07] As I sat there in front of the latest book

[00:02:09] looking for someone to finally give me the answer,

[00:02:12] the words began to blur.

[00:02:14] I thought,

[00:02:15] there has got to be more to it than this.

[00:02:18] There has got to be a way

[00:02:19] to feel good about my body

[00:02:21] that involves more than just how I exercise

[00:02:23] or what I put in my mouth.

[00:02:25] And boy, was I right.

[00:02:27] Usually when we think of weight loss,

[00:02:29] we think of words like diet,

[00:02:31] exercise,

[00:02:32] leafy greens,

[00:02:33] or high-intensity interval training.

[00:02:35] Those words are great,

[00:02:37] but they imply that weight loss

[00:02:38] is from the outside in.

[00:02:40] With obesity continuing to rise,

[00:02:42] that mindset doesn't seem to be working.

[00:02:45] What if we turned weight loss upside down

[00:02:48] and started healing ourselves on the inside?

[00:02:51] Our body's natural default setting

[00:02:53] is to be healthy.

[00:02:54] If we take care of our emotional body,

[00:02:56] then our physical body

[00:02:58] will naturally begin to take care of itself.

[00:03:00] Try using these five healing words.

[00:03:04] One, enough.

[00:03:06] As in,

[00:03:07] I am enough.

[00:03:09] I realized I was always looking for something

[00:03:11] outside of myself,

[00:03:13] like a new diet or a different workout,

[00:03:15] to help me reach my goal.

[00:03:16] Somewhere along the line,

[00:03:18] I had bought into the story that

[00:03:19] I'll be happy when I lose

[00:03:21] five or 15 pounds.

[00:03:24] But the message my soul heard was,

[00:03:26] I am not okay as I am.

[00:03:28] We all have some version of

[00:03:30] I'm not enough inside.

[00:03:33] Some of us picked it up from society

[00:03:35] and the airbrushed image

[00:03:36] of the impossible ideal.

[00:03:38] Some of us learned it in a more acute way,

[00:03:40] in the form of a hurtful comment

[00:03:42] from a family member or friend.

[00:03:44] I still remember when a college soccer coach

[00:03:47] implied that I had gained weight

[00:03:48] when he said,

[00:03:49] gee, those shorts look a little tighter

[00:03:51] than they used to.

[00:03:52] Naturally, this was well within earshot

[00:03:54] of my teammates and friends.

[00:03:56] When we constantly tell ourselves,

[00:03:58] I'll be happy when I lose 15 pounds,

[00:04:00] we put ourselves on the treadmill

[00:04:02] of striving to reach enough.

[00:04:04] The problem is

[00:04:05] that we never arrive.

[00:04:08] Feeling not enough feels bad.

[00:04:09] So, we turn to food

[00:04:11] to help us feel better.

[00:04:13] However, the food we turn to

[00:04:15] ends up making us feel worse

[00:04:16] about ourselves

[00:04:17] than the negative feelings

[00:04:18] we were running from.

[00:04:20] It's a downward spiral.

[00:04:21] Here's a secret.

[00:04:23] There is no number on the scale

[00:04:25] that will make you enough.

[00:04:26] Because enough

[00:04:27] is already inside of you.

[00:04:30] Like Dorothy and her ruby slippers,

[00:04:32] you have the power

[00:04:33] to access enough

[00:04:34] right now.

[00:04:35] You are a creation of the universe.

[00:04:37] There is nothing you can do

[00:04:39] to make you wrong or right

[00:04:40] in the eyes of the universe

[00:04:42] because you are already complete.

[00:04:45] P.S.

[00:04:46] I have learned that feeling enough

[00:04:47] takes daily,

[00:04:48] sometimes moment by moment,

[00:04:50] personal reminders.

[00:04:52] It is a process.

[00:04:53] And it gets easier with practice.

[00:04:56] I promise.

[00:04:57] 2. Surrender

[00:04:58] I don't mean surrender

[00:05:00] to the cravings.

[00:05:01] I mean surrender

[00:05:02] to the feelings

[00:05:03] that create the cravings.

[00:05:06] Instead of running

[00:05:07] from our feelings,

[00:05:08] what if we could sit with them

[00:05:09] for a minute?

[00:05:10] What would they tell us?

[00:05:12] Last week,

[00:05:13] I was driving to a coffee shop

[00:05:14] to do some writing.

[00:05:15] On my way,

[00:05:16] I found myself fantasizing

[00:05:18] about the pastries

[00:05:18] and sugary goodies

[00:05:19] that I normally pass over.

[00:05:21] When I got to the parking lot,

[00:05:23] I sat for a moment

[00:05:24] and checked in

[00:05:24] with my feelings.

[00:05:25] I realized

[00:05:26] I wasn't hungry.

[00:05:28] So,

[00:05:28] that wasn't it.

[00:05:29] It didn't take long

[00:05:30] to recognize that

[00:05:31] I was ruminating

[00:05:33] in the background

[00:05:33] of my thoughts

[00:05:34] on a recent argument

[00:05:35] I'd had with a family member.

[00:05:37] My conscious mind said,

[00:05:39] I should be over this by now.

[00:05:40] But I wasn't.

[00:05:42] So,

[00:05:42] I took a moment

[00:05:43] to really sort through

[00:05:44] my feelings.

[00:05:45] Anger,

[00:05:46] hurt,

[00:05:46] and shame

[00:05:47] crept to the surface.

[00:05:49] Miraculously,

[00:05:49] my sugar craving

[00:05:51] disappeared.

[00:05:52] Maybe our intense desire

[00:05:54] for chocolate

[00:05:54] is the body's way

[00:05:55] of expressing loneliness.

[00:05:57] Perhaps reaching

[00:05:58] for that glass of wine

[00:05:59] is a way to numb

[00:06:00] the anxiousness.

[00:06:01] Do those foods

[00:06:03] really satisfy

[00:06:04] the feelings

[00:06:04] that lie hidden

[00:06:05] beneath the craving?

[00:06:07] What really does

[00:06:08] satisfy those feelings?

[00:06:09] In her book,

[00:06:11] The Willpower Instinct,

[00:06:12] Dr. Kelly McGonigal

[00:06:13] states that the best

[00:06:14] activities for soothing

[00:06:15] feelings

[00:06:15] are meditating,

[00:06:17] praying,

[00:06:18] going for a walk,

[00:06:19] talking to a friend,

[00:06:21] journaling,

[00:06:21] and resting.

[00:06:22] In the car that day,

[00:06:24] I practiced

[00:06:25] tapping,

[00:06:26] or

[00:06:26] emotional freedom

[00:06:27] technique,

[00:06:28] and it really helped.

[00:06:30] 3.

[00:06:31] Trust

[00:06:32] Trusting our bodies

[00:06:33] can be a scary thing.

[00:06:35] We've spent so many years

[00:06:36] ignoring the messages

[00:06:37] our bodies send us

[00:06:38] that we really have no idea

[00:06:40] how to listen to them.

[00:06:41] We've all eaten our way

[00:06:42] right past the point

[00:06:43] of feeling full

[00:06:44] because our brain

[00:06:45] was still hungry.

[00:06:47] We need a good

[00:06:48] body-mind translator.

[00:06:50] I am constantly trying

[00:06:51] and failing

[00:06:52] and trying again

[00:06:53] to tune into

[00:06:55] how my body is feeling

[00:06:56] rather than

[00:06:57] what my mind

[00:06:57] is saying.

[00:06:58] Do I really want to

[00:06:59] finish my plate?

[00:07:01] Or am I actually

[00:07:02] already feeling

[00:07:03] a little full?

[00:07:04] Just like learning

[00:07:05] to play the piano

[00:07:06] or any other skill,

[00:07:08] this takes time

[00:07:09] and patient practice.

[00:07:10] I have found that

[00:07:11] often my body

[00:07:12] is a lot smarter

[00:07:13] and intuitive

[00:07:14] than my brain.

[00:07:16] 4.

[00:07:17] Compassion

[00:07:18] How many times

[00:07:19] have I woken up

[00:07:20] in the morning

[00:07:20] after a pizza binge

[00:07:21] and thought,

[00:07:22] why did I do that again?

[00:07:24] We beat ourselves up

[00:07:26] because we think

[00:07:26] it will motivate us

[00:07:27] to be better.

[00:07:28] But it doesn't work.

[00:07:30] In fact,

[00:07:30] studies show that

[00:07:31] negative self-thoughts

[00:07:32] lead to apathy

[00:07:33] and depression,

[00:07:34] not motivation.

[00:07:36] The key

[00:07:36] is to lighten up a bit.

[00:07:38] Instead of repeatedly

[00:07:39] saying awful things

[00:07:40] to myself,

[00:07:41] I've learned that

[00:07:42] a more successful path

[00:07:43] is to think,

[00:07:44] okay,

[00:07:45] the pizza wasn't

[00:07:46] a great choice,

[00:07:46] but everyone slips up

[00:07:48] sometimes.

[00:07:48] How can I learn from it?

[00:07:50] One study found

[00:07:51] that dieters

[00:07:52] were less likely

[00:07:53] to binge

[00:07:53] when they practiced

[00:07:54] self-forgiveness

[00:07:55] after a diet slip.

[00:07:57] We are all

[00:07:58] imperfect humans.

[00:07:59] Forgiving yourself

[00:08:00] is the antidote

[00:08:01] to self-sabotage.

[00:08:03] And 5.

[00:08:04] Gratitude

[00:08:05] No one's body

[00:08:06] is perfect.

[00:08:07] Not mine,

[00:08:08] not yours.

[00:08:09] On the other hand,

[00:08:10] every positive experience

[00:08:12] you've ever had

[00:08:13] on this earth

[00:08:13] was brought to you

[00:08:14] one way or another

[00:08:15] by your body.

[00:08:17] Here is a body

[00:08:18] appreciation exercise

[00:08:19] that I love.

[00:08:20] Think of your five senses.

[00:08:22] A good way

[00:08:23] to remember them

[00:08:24] is there are

[00:08:25] three S's

[00:08:26] and two T's.

[00:08:28] Sight,

[00:08:28] sound,

[00:08:29] smell,

[00:08:30] taste,

[00:08:30] and touch.

[00:08:32] Think of one good thing

[00:08:33] that you experienced

[00:08:34] today for each

[00:08:35] of your five senses.

[00:08:36] For example,

[00:08:38] sight,

[00:08:39] my daughter's smile.

[00:08:40] Sound,

[00:08:42] the wind

[00:08:42] through the trees.

[00:08:44] Smell,

[00:08:45] coffee.

[00:08:46] Taste,

[00:08:47] oh how I love breakfast.

[00:08:49] And touch,

[00:08:50] the softness

[00:08:51] of my pillow.

[00:08:52] There are lots of ways

[00:08:53] to be grateful

[00:08:54] for your body

[00:08:54] even if it's not perfect.

[00:08:56] It has been documented

[00:08:58] that people who practice

[00:08:59] gratitude every day

[00:09:00] sleep better

[00:09:01] and even exercise more.

[00:09:03] What words help you

[00:09:05] to nurture

[00:09:06] and heal

[00:09:06] your emotional body?

[00:09:11] You just listened

[00:09:12] to the post titled

[00:09:13] How to Heal Your Relationship

[00:09:15] with Your Body

[00:09:16] in Five Words

[00:09:17] by Lizzie Merritt

[00:09:18] with tinybuddha.com

[00:09:20] and I'll be right back

[00:09:21] with my commentary.

[00:09:22] Dr. Neil here

[00:09:23] for my commentary.

[00:09:25] Today's author Lizzie

[00:09:26] is absolutely right

[00:09:27] when she said

[00:09:28] those that practice

[00:09:29] expressing gratitude

[00:09:30] regularly

[00:09:31] tend to have

[00:09:32] healthier habits

[00:09:32] like sleeping better

[00:09:34] and exercising more.

[00:09:36] In fact,

[00:09:36] researchers have found

[00:09:37] that those that

[00:09:38] regularly write down

[00:09:39] a list of things

[00:09:40] that make them feel grateful

[00:09:41] tend to feel

[00:09:42] more energetic,

[00:09:43] more alert,

[00:09:44] and generally feel

[00:09:45] better about themselves

[00:09:46] after just a few weeks

[00:09:48] of doing this.

[00:09:49] Now,

[00:09:49] it's not enough

[00:09:50] to simply

[00:09:50] write down

[00:09:52] that we're grateful

[00:09:52] for the same

[00:09:53] three things

[00:09:54] every day.

[00:09:55] We have to be open

[00:09:56] and honest

[00:09:57] with ourselves

[00:09:57] and put some actual

[00:09:58] thought into

[00:09:59] what we're writing down

[00:10:00] otherwise

[00:10:01] it won't really work.

[00:10:03] And if we do this

[00:10:04] regularly

[00:10:05] and of course

[00:10:05] we're open

[00:10:06] and honest

[00:10:06] with ourselves

[00:10:07] we're actually

[00:10:08] retraining the brain

[00:10:09] to appreciate

[00:10:10] those things

[00:10:11] we already have

[00:10:12] instead of focusing

[00:10:14] on all of the things

[00:10:15] that we don't.

[00:10:17] All right,

[00:10:17] that'll wrap up

[00:10:18] today's episode.

[00:10:19] Thank you so much

[00:10:19] for listening.

[00:10:20] Thank you for being

[00:10:21] a subscriber

[00:10:22] or follower

[00:10:22] of the show.

[00:10:23] I hope you have

[00:10:24] a great rest of your day

[00:10:25] and I'll see you

[00:10:25] back here tomorrow

[00:10:26] for another Friday Q&A

[00:10:28] and where your optimal

[00:10:29] life awaits.