2771: How to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body in 5 Words by Lizzie Merritt on Compassion & Gratitude

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[00:00:57] This is Optimal Health Daily.

[00:00:59] How to heal your relationship with your body in five words

[00:01:02] by Lizzie Merritt with tinybuddha.com

[00:01:05] and I'm Dr. Neil, your very own personal narrator.

[00:01:08] Hey there, welcome to a Thursday edition

[00:01:10] of Optimal Health Daily.

[00:01:12] This is one of a few shows

[00:01:13] where we read to you from blogs for free

[00:01:15] so that you don't have to read them yourself

[00:01:17] except on Fridays.

[00:01:19] That's where I answer your questions.

[00:01:21] But with that, let's keep this intro nice and short

[00:01:24] so we can get right to today's post

[00:01:26] as we optimize your life.

[00:01:32] How to heal your relationship with your body in five words

[00:01:35] by Lizzie Merritt with tinybuddha.com

[00:01:39] Quote,

[00:01:40] To be beautiful means to be yourself.

[00:01:43] You don't need to be accepted by others.

[00:01:45] You need to accept yourself.

[00:01:48] Thich Nhat Hanh

[00:01:50] There I was reading yet another diet book.

[00:01:53] It was the spring of 2013.

[00:01:54] I was routinely doing intense workouts

[00:01:57] in my living room at 5 a.m.

[00:01:59] Then I would go teach group fitness classes

[00:02:01] later in the day.

[00:02:02] By that point,

[00:02:03] I had tried all kinds of diets.

[00:02:05] In fact, I had lost count.

[00:02:07] As I sat there in front of the latest book

[00:02:09] looking for someone to finally give me the answer,

[00:02:12] the words began to blur.

[00:02:14] I thought,

[00:02:15] there has got to be more to it than this.

[00:02:18] There has got to be a way

[00:02:19] to feel good about my body

[00:02:21] that involves more than just how I exercise

[00:02:23] or what I put in my mouth.

[00:02:25] And boy, was I right.

[00:02:27] Usually when we think of weight loss,

[00:02:29] we think of words like diet,

[00:02:31] exercise,

[00:02:32] leafy greens,

[00:02:33] or high-intensity interval training.

[00:02:35] Those words are great,

[00:02:37] but they imply that weight loss

[00:02:38] is from the outside in.

[00:02:40] With obesity continuing to rise,

[00:02:42] that mindset doesn't seem to be working.

[00:02:45] What if we turned weight loss upside down

[00:02:48] and started healing ourselves on the inside?

[00:02:51] Our body's natural default setting

[00:02:53] is to be healthy.

[00:02:54] If we take care of our emotional body,

[00:02:56] then our physical body

[00:02:58] will naturally begin to take care of itself.

[00:03:00] Try using these five healing words.

[00:03:04] One, enough.

[00:03:06] As in,

[00:03:07] I am enough.

[00:03:09] I realized I was always looking for something

[00:03:11] outside of myself,

[00:03:13] like a new diet or a different workout,

[00:03:15] to help me reach my goal.

[00:03:16] Somewhere along the line,

[00:03:18] I had bought into the story that

[00:03:19] I'll be happy when I lose

[00:03:21] five or 15 pounds.

[00:03:24] But the message my soul heard was,

[00:03:26] I am not okay as I am.

[00:03:28] We all have some version of

[00:03:30] I'm not enough inside.

[00:03:33] Some of us picked it up from society

[00:03:35] and the airbrushed image

[00:03:36] of the impossible ideal.

[00:03:38] Some of us learned it in a more acute way,

[00:03:40] in the form of a hurtful comment

[00:03:42] from a family member or friend.

[00:03:44] I still remember when a college soccer coach

[00:03:47] implied that I had gained weight

[00:03:48] when he said,

[00:03:49] gee, those shorts look a little tighter

[00:03:51] than they used to.

[00:03:52] Naturally, this was well within earshot

[00:03:54] of my teammates and friends.

[00:03:56] When we constantly tell ourselves,

[00:03:58] I'll be happy when I lose 15 pounds,

[00:04:00] we put ourselves on the treadmill

[00:04:02] of striving to reach enough.

[00:04:04] The problem is

[00:04:05] that we never arrive.

[00:04:08] Feeling not enough feels bad.

[00:04:09] So, we turn to food

[00:04:11] to help us feel better.

[00:04:13] However, the food we turn to

[00:04:15] ends up making us feel worse

[00:04:16] about ourselves

[00:04:17] than the negative feelings

[00:04:18] we were running from.

[00:04:20] It's a downward spiral.

[00:04:21] Here's a secret.

[00:04:23] There is no number on the scale

[00:04:25] that will make you enough.

[00:04:26] Because enough

[00:04:27] is already inside of you.

[00:04:30] Like Dorothy and her ruby slippers,

[00:04:32] you have the power

[00:04:33] to access enough

[00:04:34] right now.

[00:04:35] You are a creation of the universe.

[00:04:37] There is nothing you can do

[00:04:39] to make you wrong or right

[00:04:40] in the eyes of the universe

[00:04:42] because you are already complete.

[00:04:45] P.S.

[00:04:46] I have learned that feeling enough

[00:04:47] takes daily,

[00:04:48] sometimes moment by moment,

[00:04:50] personal reminders.

[00:04:52] It is a process.

[00:04:53] And it gets easier with practice.

[00:04:56] I promise.

[00:04:57] 2. Surrender

[00:04:58] I don't mean surrender

[00:05:00] to the cravings.

[00:05:01] I mean surrender

[00:05:02] to the feelings

[00:05:03] that create the cravings.

[00:05:06] Instead of running

[00:05:07] from our feelings,

[00:05:08] what if we could sit with them

[00:05:09] for a minute?

[00:05:10] What would they tell us?

[00:05:12] Last week,

[00:05:13] I was driving to a coffee shop

[00:05:14] to do some writing.

[00:05:15] On my way,

[00:05:16] I found myself fantasizing

[00:05:18] about the pastries

[00:05:18] and sugary goodies

[00:05:19] that I normally pass over.

[00:05:21] When I got to the parking lot,

[00:05:23] I sat for a moment

[00:05:24] and checked in

[00:05:24] with my feelings.

[00:05:25] I realized

[00:05:26] I wasn't hungry.

[00:05:28] So,

[00:05:28] that wasn't it.

[00:05:29] It didn't take long

[00:05:30] to recognize that

[00:05:31] I was ruminating

[00:05:33] in the background

[00:05:33] of my thoughts

[00:05:34] on a recent argument

[00:05:35] I'd had with a family member.

[00:05:37] My conscious mind said,

[00:05:39] I should be over this by now.

[00:05:40] But I wasn't.

[00:05:42] So,

[00:05:42] I took a moment

[00:05:43] to really sort through

[00:05:44] my feelings.

[00:05:45] Anger,

[00:05:46] hurt,

[00:05:46] and shame

[00:05:47] crept to the surface.

[00:05:49] Miraculously,

[00:05:49] my sugar craving

[00:05:51] disappeared.

[00:05:52] Maybe our intense desire

[00:05:54] for chocolate

[00:05:54] is the body's way

[00:05:55] of expressing loneliness.

[00:05:57] Perhaps reaching

[00:05:58] for that glass of wine

[00:05:59] is a way to numb

[00:06:00] the anxiousness.

[00:06:01] Do those foods

[00:06:03] really satisfy

[00:06:04] the feelings

[00:06:04] that lie hidden

[00:06:05] beneath the craving?

[00:06:07] What really does

[00:06:08] satisfy those feelings?

[00:06:09] In her book,

[00:06:11] The Willpower Instinct,

[00:06:12] Dr. Kelly McGonigal

[00:06:13] states that the best

[00:06:14] activities for soothing

[00:06:15] feelings

[00:06:15] are meditating,

[00:06:17] praying,

[00:06:18] going for a walk,

[00:06:19] talking to a friend,

[00:06:21] journaling,

[00:06:21] and resting.

[00:06:22] In the car that day,

[00:06:24] I practiced

[00:06:25] tapping,

[00:06:26] or

[00:06:26] emotional freedom

[00:06:27] technique,

[00:06:28] and it really helped.

[00:06:30] 3.

[00:06:31] Trust

[00:06:32] Trusting our bodies

[00:06:33] can be a scary thing.

[00:06:35] We've spent so many years

[00:06:36] ignoring the messages

[00:06:37] our bodies send us

[00:06:38] that we really have no idea

[00:06:40] how to listen to them.

[00:06:41] We've all eaten our way

[00:06:42] right past the point

[00:06:43] of feeling full

[00:06:44] because our brain

[00:06:45] was still hungry.

[00:06:47] We need a good

[00:06:48] body-mind translator.

[00:06:50] I am constantly trying

[00:06:51] and failing

[00:06:52] and trying again

[00:06:53] to tune into

[00:06:55] how my body is feeling

[00:06:56] rather than

[00:06:57] what my mind

[00:06:57] is saying.

[00:06:58] Do I really want to

[00:06:59] finish my plate?

[00:07:01] Or am I actually

[00:07:02] already feeling

[00:07:03] a little full?

[00:07:04] Just like learning

[00:07:05] to play the piano

[00:07:06] or any other skill,

[00:07:08] this takes time

[00:07:09] and patient practice.

[00:07:10] I have found that

[00:07:11] often my body

[00:07:12] is a lot smarter

[00:07:13] and intuitive

[00:07:14] than my brain.

[00:07:16] 4.

[00:07:17] Compassion

[00:07:18] How many times

[00:07:19] have I woken up

[00:07:20] in the morning

[00:07:20] after a pizza binge

[00:07:21] and thought,

[00:07:22] why did I do that again?

[00:07:24] We beat ourselves up

[00:07:26] because we think

[00:07:26] it will motivate us

[00:07:27] to be better.

[00:07:28] But it doesn't work.

[00:07:30] In fact,

[00:07:30] studies show that

[00:07:31] negative self-thoughts

[00:07:32] lead to apathy

[00:07:33] and depression,

[00:07:34] not motivation.

[00:07:36] The key

[00:07:36] is to lighten up a bit.

[00:07:38] Instead of repeatedly

[00:07:39] saying awful things

[00:07:40] to myself,

[00:07:41] I've learned that

[00:07:42] a more successful path

[00:07:43] is to think,

[00:07:44] okay,

[00:07:45] the pizza wasn't

[00:07:46] a great choice,

[00:07:46] but everyone slips up

[00:07:48] sometimes.

[00:07:48] How can I learn from it?

[00:07:50] One study found

[00:07:51] that dieters

[00:07:52] were less likely

[00:07:53] to binge

[00:07:53] when they practiced

[00:07:54] self-forgiveness

[00:07:55] after a diet slip.

[00:07:57] We are all

[00:07:58] imperfect humans.

[00:07:59] Forgiving yourself

[00:08:00] is the antidote

[00:08:01] to self-sabotage.

[00:08:03] And 5.

[00:08:04] Gratitude

[00:08:05] No one's body

[00:08:06] is perfect.

[00:08:07] Not mine,

[00:08:08] not yours.

[00:08:09] On the other hand,

[00:08:10] every positive experience

[00:08:12] you've ever had

[00:08:13] on this earth

[00:08:13] was brought to you

[00:08:14] one way or another

[00:08:15] by your body.

[00:08:17] Here is a body

[00:08:18] appreciation exercise

[00:08:19] that I love.

[00:08:20] Think of your five senses.

[00:08:22] A good way

[00:08:23] to remember them

[00:08:24] is there are

[00:08:25] three S's

[00:08:26] and two T's.

[00:08:28] Sight,

[00:08:28] sound,

[00:08:29] smell,

[00:08:30] taste,

[00:08:30] and touch.

[00:08:32] Think of one good thing

[00:08:33] that you experienced

[00:08:34] today for each

[00:08:35] of your five senses.

[00:08:36] For example,

[00:08:38] sight,

[00:08:39] my daughter's smile.

[00:08:40] Sound,

[00:08:42] the wind

[00:08:42] through the trees.

[00:08:44] Smell,

[00:08:45] coffee.

[00:08:46] Taste,

[00:08:47] oh how I love breakfast.

[00:08:49] And touch,

[00:08:50] the softness

[00:08:51] of my pillow.

[00:08:52] There are lots of ways

[00:08:53] to be grateful

[00:08:54] for your body

[00:08:54] even if it's not perfect.

[00:08:56] It has been documented

[00:08:58] that people who practice

[00:08:59] gratitude every day

[00:09:00] sleep better

[00:09:01] and even exercise more.

[00:09:03] What words help you

[00:09:05] to nurture

[00:09:06] and heal

[00:09:06] your emotional body?

[00:09:11] You just listened

[00:09:12] to the post titled

[00:09:13] How to Heal Your Relationship

[00:09:15] with Your Body

[00:09:16] in Five Words

[00:09:17] by Lizzie Merritt

[00:09:18] with tinybuddha.com

[00:09:20] and I'll be right back

[00:09:21] with my commentary.

[00:09:22] Dr. Neil here

[00:09:23] for my commentary.

[00:09:25] Today's author Lizzie

[00:09:26] is absolutely right

[00:09:27] when she said

[00:09:28] those that practice

[00:09:29] expressing gratitude

[00:09:30] regularly

[00:09:31] tend to have

[00:09:32] healthier habits

[00:09:32] like sleeping better

[00:09:34] and exercising more.

[00:09:36] In fact,

[00:09:36] researchers have found

[00:09:37] that those that

[00:09:38] regularly write down

[00:09:39] a list of things

[00:09:40] that make them feel grateful

[00:09:41] tend to feel

[00:09:42] more energetic,

[00:09:43] more alert,

[00:09:44] and generally feel

[00:09:45] better about themselves

[00:09:46] after just a few weeks

[00:09:48] of doing this.

[00:09:49] Now,

[00:09:49] it's not enough

[00:09:50] to simply

[00:09:50] write down

[00:09:52] that we're grateful

[00:09:52] for the same

[00:09:53] three things

[00:09:54] every day.

[00:09:55] We have to be open

[00:09:56] and honest

[00:09:57] with ourselves

[00:09:57] and put some actual

[00:09:58] thought into

[00:09:59] what we're writing down

[00:10:00] otherwise

[00:10:01] it won't really work.

[00:10:03] And if we do this

[00:10:04] regularly

[00:10:05] and of course

[00:10:05] we're open

[00:10:06] and honest

[00:10:06] with ourselves

[00:10:07] we're actually

[00:10:08] retraining the brain

[00:10:09] to appreciate

[00:10:10] those things

[00:10:11] we already have

[00:10:12] instead of focusing

[00:10:14] on all of the things

[00:10:15] that we don't.

[00:10:17] All right,

[00:10:17] that'll wrap up

[00:10:18] today's episode.

[00:10:19] Thank you so much

[00:10:19] for listening.

[00:10:20] Thank you for being

[00:10:21] a subscriber

[00:10:22] or follower

[00:10:22] of the show.

[00:10:23] I hope you have

[00:10:24] a great rest of your day

[00:10:25] and I'll see you

[00:10:25] back here tomorrow

[00:10:26] for another Friday Q&A

[00:10:28] and where your optimal

[00:10:29] life awaits.