2806: Love Yourself As If Your Life Depended On It by James Altucher on Practical Mental Frameworks & Self-Compassion

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Health Daily, Love Yourself As If Your Life Depended On It by James Altucher of jamesaltucher.com and I'm Dr. Neal.

[00:00:09] Hey there and welcome to another bonus Sunday episode where I share an article from one of the other podcasts in our network that I think will add some value for you here.

[00:00:19] Today's post comes from Optimal Relationships Daily where articles covering all types of relationships are read to you every day.

[00:00:25] So with that, let's hear this one from Greg as we optimize your life.

[00:00:34] Love Yourself As If Your Life Depended On It by James Altucher of jamesaltucher.com

[00:00:41] Kamal went missing.

[00:00:42] We had been corresponding for over a year ever since I started this blog.

[00:00:47] I'm very grateful for the great friends I have met through this blog.

[00:00:50] It has been a totally unexpected but much appreciated benefit of doing this.

[00:00:54] Finally, I was visiting San Francisco and after hundreds of emails back and forth during the prior year,

[00:01:00] I was getting all set to meet Kamal Ravikant.

[00:01:02] But he didn't show up for our planned breakfast.

[00:01:05] His brother, Naval, called him a few times.

[00:01:08] He's at home, Naval said.

[00:01:10] But he's not picking up.

[00:01:11] His illness must be overwhelming him today.

[00:01:14] Naval had a GPS specifically attached to where Kamal was.

[00:01:18] Kamal was very sick.

[00:01:20] This had been going on for months.

[00:01:22] He had gotten more and more sick.

[00:01:23] Some days he couldn't move or wake up.

[00:01:26] Other days he had enough energy to go outside, but only for minutes and then he had to go back inside.

[00:01:32] Kamal's sickness was chronic.

[00:01:34] The doctors couldn't help him.

[00:01:35] He was infinitely tired, feverish in pain, and it was getting worse.

[00:01:40] I knew from our correspondences that Kamal had been going through a hard time before he got sick.

[00:01:45] His company, which had once been well enough to raise a significant amount of money, was faltering, perhaps failing.

[00:01:50] He had recently broken off a relationship.

[00:01:53] A close friend had died.

[00:01:55] Often, when we attach our happiness to external goals, financial success, relationship success, etc., we get disappointed.

[00:02:02] Even when things work out, everything cycles.

[00:02:05] The happiness is often fleeting.

[00:02:07] When those goals break, the external pain immediately gets reflected into our internal bodies.

[00:02:13] Our emotions break.

[00:02:14] We feel sad, disappointed, in pain.

[00:02:17] We cling to the past happiness, or our hoped-for goals that now have to change.

[00:02:22] It often feels like your arm is being torn off your body.

[00:02:25] But Kamal was trying to hold it all together to be fair to everyone within his company, the employees, the investors, the customers.

[00:02:32] He was clinging to the past, to the future.

[00:02:35] To everything and everyone except for his own happiness in the present.

[00:02:40] So his emotional body couldn't handle it anymore.

[00:02:42] His emotional arms and legs were torn off.

[00:02:45] And then his physical body broke.

[00:02:47] He completely broke down.

[00:02:49] I noticed he had dropped out of touch a few months earlier, and I hadn't seen his comments on the blog in a while.

[00:02:55] What's going on? I wrote him.

[00:02:57] I'm sick, was his reply.

[00:02:58] He dropped out.

[00:03:00] But then he started getting better.

[00:03:02] He started writing again and telling me what was going on in his life.

[00:03:05] He started commenting on the blog again and interacting with the great community developing here.

[00:03:10] He was alive again.

[00:03:12] We finally ended up meeting.

[00:03:14] How'd you get better? I asked.

[00:03:15] What happened?

[00:03:16] I'll tell you the secret, he said.

[00:03:18] I thought I was going to die.

[00:03:20] I was just lying in bed and couldn't move.

[00:03:23] I had a high fever and was in too much pain.

[00:03:26] I really thought I was going to die.

[00:03:28] Finally, I just started saying over and over again,

[00:03:32] I love myself.

[00:03:34] He paused and started saying it right then as if he were still in the cure.

[00:03:38] I love myself.

[00:03:39] I love myself.

[00:03:40] I love myself.

[00:03:41] I would repeat it all day.

[00:03:43] As Kamal then says in the just-published book,

[00:03:46] Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, about his experience,

[00:03:50] quote,

[00:03:50] And I got better.

[00:03:51] My body started healing faster.

[00:03:54] My state of mind grew lighter.

[00:03:56] But the thing I never expected or imagined,

[00:03:58] life got better.

[00:03:59] But not just better.

[00:04:01] Things happened that were fantastically out of my reach.

[00:04:04] This I couldn't have dreamed of.

[00:04:06] I found myself using the word magic to describe what was happening.

[00:04:09] And through it all, I kept repeating to myself,

[00:04:12] I love myself.

[00:04:13] I love myself.

[00:04:14] I love myself.

[00:04:16] End quote.

[00:04:17] In the book, Kamal describes his transition from sickness into health

[00:04:21] and the other magical things that happened to him.

[00:04:24] He also gives a series of techniques and practices to try this for yourself

[00:04:27] in a variety of ways.

[00:04:29] And finally, he answers the dreaded question,

[00:04:32] What happens if you don't love yourself?

[00:04:34] Can you still get this magic into your life?

[00:04:37] Think about it, he said to me months later when we met in NYC.

[00:04:40] When someone is in love, they almost magically look better.

[00:04:44] I needed to be in love with myself to feel better.

[00:04:47] So much of what had happened had weighed on me until I collapsed.

[00:04:51] Now I needed to love myself.

[00:04:53] It became a mantra for me.

[00:04:55] As someone explained to me the other day,

[00:04:57] the word mantra has two parts in Sanskrit.

[00:05:01] Man, thoughtfulness with zeal,

[00:05:02] and tra, to protect.

[00:05:05] So by saying I love myself over and over,

[00:05:07] Kamal was protecting the thought, nourishing it,

[00:05:10] and the love was nourishing the rest of his body,

[00:05:13] his emotions, his mind, his spirit.

[00:05:16] Kamal is now completely recovered.

[00:05:18] He also figured out the solution with his business,

[00:05:20] and when I saw him in NYC,

[00:05:22] it was as if a gigantic weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

[00:05:25] He is so recovered that I can't recommend enough the book about his experience.

[00:05:30] The title, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.

[00:05:33] He used Amazon directly, uploaded the book,

[00:05:36] and it became available within days after he wrote it.

[00:05:39] I'll let a quote from Kamal's excellent book close this post.

[00:05:42] Quote,

[00:05:43] If a painful memory arises,

[00:05:45] don't fight it or try to push it away.

[00:05:47] You're in quicksand.

[00:05:49] Struggle reinforces pain.

[00:05:51] Instead, go to love.

[00:05:53] Love for yourself.

[00:05:54] Feel it.

[00:05:56] If you have to fake it, fine.

[00:05:58] It'll become real eventually.

[00:06:00] Feel the love for yourself as the memory ebbs and flows.

[00:06:03] That will take the power away.

[00:06:05] And even more importantly, it will shift the wiring of the memory.

[00:06:09] Do it again and again.

[00:06:10] Love.

[00:06:11] Rewire.

[00:06:12] Love.

[00:06:13] Rewire.

[00:06:14] It's your mind.

[00:06:15] You can do whatever you want.

[00:06:17] The results are worth it.

[00:06:18] I wish that for you.

[00:06:24] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:26] Love Yourself As If Your Life Dependent On It,

[00:06:28] by James Altucher of jamesaltucher.com.

[00:06:32] And a big thanks to James.

[00:06:34] Well, a big thanks to Kamal as well for that.

[00:06:37] There's a lot that's out of our control, everybody.

[00:06:40] And while the degree to which we let other things affect us is often up to us,

[00:06:46] even that is not always the case in each moment.

[00:06:48] So if we can be vigilant enough to find and act in the moments in which we are feeling empowered,

[00:06:53] we can seize those opportunities to change the narratives about ourselves as Kamal did

[00:06:58] and ultimately develop more empowering moments because of that.

[00:07:02] And once our narratives and our beliefs have changed,

[00:07:04] well then, look out world.

[00:07:06] That mind-body connection baby.

[00:07:08] Kamal knows.

[00:07:08] He'll tell you.

[00:07:09] Thanks so much for joining me today, everybody.

[00:07:11] And I hope that you have an amazing rest of your day.

[00:07:13] I will see you again tomorrow with a post from Becoming Minimalist,

[00:07:17] where your optimal life awaits.