2826: How to Deal with Friends, Family, and Co-Workers While Dieting by Matt McLeod on Personal Growth

[00:00:00] Überlass deine gesunde Ernährung und die Gains nicht nur deinem Bauchgefühl. Denn bei der Ernährung gaukelt uns unser innerer Schweinehund manchmal ganz schön was vor. Sag stattdessen Hallo zu deinem neuen Coach, Yasio. Yasio ist die meistgenutzte Ernährungs-App Europas, made in Germany. Egal ob Massephase oder ein bisschen Abnehmen, tracke Kalorien, Proteine, Carbs, Fette, Bewegung und Intervallfasten. Und mit den Tasty-Rezepten bist du ready für deine Ziele. Let's go! Lade die Yasio-App jetzt herunter.

[00:00:30] This is Optimal Health Daily. How to Deal with Friends, Family, and Co-Workers While Dieting by Matt McLeod of mattmcleod.org. And I'm your host and narrator, Dr. Neal.

[00:00:40] Hey there, happy middle of the week Wednesday and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily, where I read some of the best health and fitness blogs to you, usually with a little bit of my commentary at the end.

[00:00:49] Alright, so obviously it's the new year. At some point today, you'll probably think about your New Year's resolutions. I would say on this show, that's a recurring theme.

[00:00:59] It's like every episode in itself fits its own New Year's resolution. Now, I wish I could say I had planned this, but you know, on Wednesdays I usually give you a little bit of inspiration and today is Wednesday, so I'm gonna do that.

[00:01:11] But it just so happens that the timing is perfect since it's a new year, so let's start the new year off with some inspiration.

[00:01:19] Quote,

[00:01:20] Real heroes are those who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they've stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments.

[00:01:30] Kevin Costner

[00:01:31] Alright, I'm sure you're anxious to hear today's post, so let's get right to it and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:42] How to Deal with Friends, Family, and Co-Workers While Dieting by Matt McLeod of mattmcleod.org.

[00:01:50] Let's play a game where we see how many of these quotes sound familiar to you.

[00:01:55] Oh, come on. One bite won't hurt. You need to live a little.

[00:01:59] Oh, you're getting that? Well, you're gonna hate what I'm eating.

[00:02:03] Don't you ever get tired of eating that?

[00:02:05] You don't eat a diet. You're skinny enough.

[00:02:08] You look just fine the way you are.

[00:02:11] Pfft, a salad? I'm gonna eat this burger because I love myself.

[00:02:15] Well, you want some health kick again? We'll see how long this lasts.

[00:02:19] Since you're listening to this, chances are you care about your health and fitness, at least a little bit.

[00:02:23] And since you care, chances are very high that you've heard at least one of the aforementioned quotes.

[00:02:29] Heck, you might have even said one of these quotes at some point in your life.

[00:02:33] Which is forgivable if you've stopped.

[00:02:35] And if you haven't, well, today's a great day to stop being a d***bag.

[00:02:38] Nonetheless, dieting and making positive changes to your body is extremely difficult no matter what.

[00:02:43] But compound that with peer pressure from people around you and it makes a long-term transformation nearly impossible.

[00:02:50] Unless you're prepared.

[00:02:52] And that's what I want to discuss today.

[00:02:54] Especially because there's no shortage of office parties, dinners out, and family gatherings during this time of year.

[00:03:00] Let's dive in.

[00:03:01] Here are four ways to shield yourself from c***y things people say to you while dieting.

[00:03:06] Quick disclaimer.

[00:03:08] The following is written assuming that you're participating in a healthy behavior.

[00:03:12] If you are over-exercising or being far too restrictive with your diet,

[00:03:15] there's a good chance that people are worried about you and have valid concerns about your health.

[00:03:19] And that is a completely different topic.

[00:03:22] One.

[00:03:23] Remember this quote.

[00:03:25] Between stimulus and response, there is a space.

[00:03:28] In that space is our power to choose our response.

[00:03:32] In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

[00:03:35] Viktor Frankl.

[00:03:37] I think this quote is so powerful because it's a reminder that you are always in control.

[00:03:42] In a real-world example, that stimulus he's referring to is coming from your co-worker, Janet,

[00:03:48] who's just used one of the insulting quotes I just mentioned.

[00:03:51] In that moment, right after she finishes saying it,

[00:03:54] there's going to be an internal response from you.

[00:03:57] Maybe anger or embarrassment or insecurity or anxiety.

[00:04:01] And your cheeks will flush and you'll feel that swift gut punch.

[00:04:05] But there's also a pause.

[00:04:07] This is that space between Janet's stimulus and your response to what she just said.

[00:04:12] In this space, you have two choices.

[00:04:15] One.

[00:04:15] Say something snarky back and retaliate with anger,

[00:04:18] which will show your neck to Janet and prove you're weak.

[00:04:21] Or two.

[00:04:22] Laugh it off, ignore Janet,

[00:04:24] and continue doing whatever the heck you want,

[00:04:26] strutting off in sweet victory as Janet contemplates her sad, unfulfilling life.

[00:04:31] To me, number two sounds like a winner.

[00:04:34] Commit to being stronger than Janet's poor attempts at puncturing your shield of confidence.

[00:04:39] Two.

[00:04:40] If they intentionally say something rude,

[00:04:42] know that it's only a projection of their own insecurities.

[00:04:46] Once you understand this, you should honestly feel bad for them.

[00:04:50] Think of it as a child throwing a temper tantrum.

[00:04:52] The child will say hurtful things in attempts to make themselves feel better,

[00:04:56] because, well, that's basically what's going on in these instances.

[00:04:59] Also remember that they can only hurt you if you let them.

[00:05:02] This overlaps with the first point.

[00:05:04] But you have the power when you own up to your own insecurities.

[00:05:09] The remarks that Janet made wouldn't hurt you if you didn't believe in them,

[00:05:12] at least just a little bit.

[00:05:14] It hurts because it exposes our self-proclaimed weaknesses.

[00:05:18] But here's the thing.

[00:05:19] We all have insecurities.

[00:05:20] I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know,

[00:05:23] but if you truly believe it,

[00:05:25] then it's foolish to take these comments so personally.

[00:05:27] Let them roll off you like a drop of water on a rain jacket.

[00:05:31] Quote,

[00:05:32] If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you,

[00:05:35] do not make excuses about what is said of you,

[00:05:37] but answer,

[00:05:38] He was ignorant of my other faults,

[00:05:40] else he would not have mentioned these alone.

[00:05:43] Epictetus.

[00:05:44] A dead philosopher guy who knew some things.

[00:05:47] Three.

[00:05:48] Recognize it's often just genuine ignorance,

[00:05:50] and cut the other person some slack.

[00:05:52] Sometimes they actually do just care or are worried about you.

[00:05:55] Look, a lot of these comments are made by people who love us.

[00:05:58] Dearly.

[00:05:59] They just don't always know how to express it appropriately

[00:06:02] when it comes to making positive comments about our bodies,

[00:06:05] or the foods we're eating,

[00:06:06] or our fitness.

[00:06:07] For example,

[00:06:08] let me go on record stating that it's almost never a good idea

[00:06:11] to tell a guy he's looking skinny,

[00:06:13] or thin,

[00:06:14] or smaller.

[00:06:15] Many think this is a compliment to someone who works out

[00:06:18] because thin and skinny equals healthy,

[00:06:20] at least in their minds.

[00:06:22] In reality,

[00:06:22] it's basically like telling someone they look fat.

[00:06:26] Guys want to hear

[00:06:27] lean,

[00:06:27] or fit,

[00:06:28] or strong,

[00:06:30] because skinny or thin can be misconstrued as weak,

[00:06:32] or frail looking.

[00:06:34] Now this isn't all guys,

[00:06:35] but I know I've heard this from plenty of other dudes too,

[00:06:38] so I know I'm not the only one who's insecure about this topic.

[00:06:41] Nonetheless,

[00:06:41] give most people the benefit of the doubt.

[00:06:43] Again,

[00:06:44] just laugh,

[00:06:45] or brush it off,

[00:06:46] smile,

[00:06:47] and say,

[00:06:47] there's always room for improvement,

[00:06:49] or, you know,

[00:06:50] something generic like that to get them off your back.

[00:06:52] Four.

[00:06:53] Turn it into a game.

[00:06:55] Literally make something up.

[00:06:56] This one is going to be a curveball,

[00:06:58] but here's an example of what I mean.

[00:07:00] Let's say Janet says to you,

[00:07:02] pfft,

[00:07:02] a salad?

[00:07:03] I'm going to eat this burger,

[00:07:05] because I love myself.

[00:07:06] You respond,

[00:07:08] yeah,

[00:07:08] it sucks.

[00:07:09] I would love to eat a burger right now,

[00:07:11] but I've been having some digestive issues lately with red meat.

[00:07:14] Salad is the only thing I've been able to eat for weeks.

[00:07:17] Now,

[00:07:18] Janet feels bad.

[00:07:19] Immediately,

[00:07:20] backtracks,

[00:07:21] and then apologizes for what she said.

[00:07:23] Do you actually have digestive issues?

[00:07:25] Nope.

[00:07:26] But does that matter?

[00:07:27] Nope.

[00:07:28] Obviously,

[00:07:28] this may not work as well

[00:07:30] for people you know better than a co-worker,

[00:07:32] but that doesn't mean you can't still just make something up.

[00:07:35] Like,

[00:07:36] I've been having diarrhea lately when I eat that.

[00:07:38] Or,

[00:07:38] I've got to bet with my sister

[00:07:40] on who can go the longest without eating sweets.

[00:07:42] Winner gets 100 bucks.

[00:07:44] Or,

[00:07:45] I'm having colonoscopy tomorrow,

[00:07:46] so I can't eat that right now.

[00:07:48] Literally,

[00:07:48] make up any excuse you want.

[00:07:50] Have fun with it.

[00:07:51] And lastly,

[00:07:52] you want to know why it's okay to make something up

[00:07:54] or tell a lie

[00:07:55] when someone makes a rude,

[00:07:56] backhanded remark to you about your diet?

[00:07:58] Because,

[00:07:59] you know what?

[00:07:59] F you, Janet.

[00:08:00] That's why.

[00:08:05] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:08:07] How to Deal with Friends,

[00:08:08] Family,

[00:08:09] and Coworkers While Dieting,

[00:08:10] by Matt McLeod,

[00:08:11] of mattmcleod.org.

[00:08:13] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:16] Dr. Neil here for my commentary.

[00:08:18] I've told many a story on this podcast

[00:08:20] about how,

[00:08:21] for some reason,

[00:08:22] people are very comfortable

[00:08:24] just telling me

[00:08:25] what they see

[00:08:26] about me

[00:08:27] and my body

[00:08:28] and my appearance.

[00:08:29] I've had people tell me flat out

[00:08:30] that I look like a certain

[00:08:31] not-so-attractive,

[00:08:34] at least in my opinion,

[00:08:35] actor.

[00:08:35] I've had people tell me

[00:08:37] that my shoulders

[00:08:38] are too small,

[00:08:38] that my left pec

[00:08:40] is smaller than my right pec,

[00:08:42] that I have a really thin neck.

[00:08:43] And yes,

[00:08:44] by the fact that I still remember

[00:08:45] all of these things,

[00:08:47] means that I do have

[00:08:48] some insecurities.

[00:08:49] And so I can completely understand

[00:08:51] if you feel the same way.

[00:08:52] As Matt mentioned,

[00:08:54] these things expose

[00:08:55] our own weaknesses,

[00:08:56] things that probably

[00:08:58] bug us already.

[00:08:59] And to have someone else

[00:09:00] point it out,

[00:09:01] my goodness,

[00:09:01] it just means that

[00:09:02] other people see it too.

[00:09:03] And that's hard.

[00:09:04] It's hard to get over that.

[00:09:06] And it's taken me a while.

[00:09:07] And I still work

[00:09:09] really hard at this.

[00:09:10] But I finally got

[00:09:11] to tip number three.

[00:09:12] Well,

[00:09:12] I'm almost there

[00:09:13] to be honest.

[00:09:14] I try and brush it off

[00:09:16] and say there's always

[00:09:17] room for improvement.

[00:09:18] So I love that quote

[00:09:19] from Matt.

[00:09:20] Because if my left pec

[00:09:21] is smaller than my right,

[00:09:22] that probably should be fixed.

[00:09:24] It's probably going to lead

[00:09:24] to an injury later

[00:09:25] if I don't fix that.

[00:09:26] If my shoulders

[00:09:27] are too small,

[00:09:28] also could potentially

[00:09:29] lead to an injury.

[00:09:30] It means some of my other muscles

[00:09:31] are probably compensating

[00:09:32] for that.

[00:09:33] When I was once told

[00:09:34] that after working out

[00:09:35] for five straight years

[00:09:37] consistently,

[00:09:38] that I still look

[00:09:39] the same as I did

[00:09:40] five years ago,

[00:09:41] meaning all that hard work

[00:09:42] didn't change

[00:09:43] my aesthetic at all,

[00:09:44] you know what that made me do

[00:09:45] after I cried?

[00:09:46] I worked harder.

[00:09:47] But again,

[00:09:48] that didn't happen immediately.

[00:09:49] I had to kind of

[00:09:51] get over myself first.

[00:09:52] I had to get to the root

[00:09:53] of what people

[00:09:54] were really trying

[00:09:54] to tell me.

[00:09:55] And as Matt said,

[00:09:56] oftentimes,

[00:09:57] it's not coming

[00:09:58] from a place of jealousy.

[00:09:59] It's coming from a place

[00:10:00] of, believe it or not,

[00:10:02] love and caring.

[00:10:03] So please don't let

[00:10:04] these comments derail you.

[00:10:06] All right,

[00:10:07] that does it

[00:10:07] for me for today.

[00:10:08] I hope you have

[00:10:08] a great rest of your day.

[00:10:10] I'll see you back here

[00:10:11] for tomorrow's show

[00:10:12] where your optimal life

[00:10:13] awaits.