2830: What're You Doing For Fun? (Yes, Really!) by Julie Morgenstern on Mental Clarity and Overall Well-Being

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[00:00:30] This is Optimal Health Daily. What are you doing for fun? Yes, really. By Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com. And I'm Dr. Neal.

[00:00:39] Hey there and welcome to another Sunday bonus episode where I share an article from one of the other podcasts in our network that I think will add some value for you here.

[00:00:48] Today's post comes from Optimal Relationships Daily, where articles covering all types of relationships are read to you every day.

[00:00:55] So, with that, let's hear this one from Greg as we optimize your life.

[00:01:28] You're not helping you with the energy you need to get through everything life throws at you.

[00:01:31] And yet, in our Parent Time Survey, a whopping 84.5% of parents said they spend too little time on hobbies and personal relaxation.

[00:01:41] It's hard to find the time, sure. But the issue of time is ultimately solvable.

[00:01:46] By taking a creative approach, we can learn to nurture ourselves and cultivate our hobbies in short microbursts.

[00:01:53] If you love to write, for example, you could spend 20 minutes over lunch or in the evening writing haikus or journaling about your day.

[00:02:00] Or maybe you're a fitness junkie who is struggling to make it to the gym for an hour, three days per week.

[00:02:06] But I bet you could find 8 to 10 minutes every day for high-intensity interval training, HIIT exercises, while your kids are napping or doing homework.

[00:02:15] Adjusting the mechanics of your approach to fun in small, consistent doses is the first step.

[00:02:20] The other shift we need to make is in our mindset.

[00:02:23] We need to believe that we deserve time for fun and that it is an essential component of a happy, healthy life.

[00:02:30] See if any of these three common belief systems interfere with your ability to make more time for fun.

[00:02:36] 1. If I'm not taking care of someone or being productive, I don't have value.

[00:02:41] Many people are driven by a rewarding work ethic that leads them to feel irresponsible or that they have no value unless they are working or taking care of someone.

[00:02:51] That belief system is ingrained in our culture and can be hard to transcend for everyone, but particularly for women who easily fall into caretaker roles.

[00:02:59] Letting go of this mindset usually requires taking a leap of faith and experiencing the benefits of spending short bursts of time on your own hobbies, passions, and interests.

[00:03:09] You'll realize that not only did the world not fall apart, but you came back stronger and more ready to give of yourself to others.

[00:03:16] If doing something for yourself is too big a leap, do it for your family or your job.

[00:03:22] After all, allowing yourself the chance to be an interesting, well-rounded, and whole human being puts you in the best position to come up with creative solutions and care for others.

[00:03:32] 2. Taking time for fun is selfish and or not fair to my family.

[00:03:37] Nearly every client I've ever coached says,

[00:03:40] Oh, Julie, I would feel so guilty asking for time to do my hobby.

[00:03:45] Or, my husband will laugh me out of the room if I say I want Sunday afternoons for going off on my own to a museum.

[00:03:51] I get it. Truly, I do.

[00:03:53] But you have to find a way to make the case for yourself and for your family, because it's good for everyone.

[00:04:00] Consider making fun part of the values by which your family lives.

[00:04:04] Trade time for fun with your spouses.

[00:04:06] E.g., you'll cover bath time and bedtime on Tuesday nights if your partner takes Wednesdays.

[00:04:11] Or, if you can swing it, hire a sitter to come once a week for the sole purpose of entertaining the kids while you take the time to pursue your passion.

[00:04:20] 3. Work first, play second.

[00:04:23] Adulthood seems defined by this ethic.

[00:04:26] How does it develop?

[00:04:27] When kids are really small, all they do is play.

[00:04:30] Then, at some point, adults intervene under the auspices of helping a kid grow up and say,

[00:04:36] Okay, buddy, you can play, but first you have to do your chores.

[00:04:39] Or, no playing until you finish your homework.

[00:04:42] The principle certainly has its merits, but as that message seeps deeper and deeper into your unconscious psyche,

[00:04:48] it can drive you to be all work and no play, which psychologists agree makes Jack a very dull boy.

[00:04:55] When there's major play deprivation in an otherwise competent adult, they're not much fun to be around,

[00:05:01] notes Dr. Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist and founder of the National Institute for Play.

[00:05:06] If you apply the work first, play second principle to your life as a parent,

[00:05:10] you will nearly guarantee that you have zero time for play.

[00:05:14] Your work is endless as you check things off your to-do list, more tasks are added all the time.

[00:05:19] But if you flip the narrative, if you start with play, you'll have more energy for work.

[00:05:25] When you have fun, time expands.

[00:05:28] If you need a little extra boost, remember this.

[00:05:31] What's good for your own mental health is good for your children.

[00:05:34] It's beneficial and important for your kids to see you pursue fulfillment beyond their existence.

[00:05:39] It teaches them that it's healthy and normal to have interests and passions beyond the immediate influence of their family.

[00:05:46] Kids want to know their parents are devoted to their well-being, but they also want their parents to be fulfilled and happy adults.

[00:05:53] And they're willing to sacrifice an hour or two with you if it means you'll come back to them happy, healthy, and present.

[00:06:04] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:06] What Are You Doing For Fun? Yes, Really?

[00:06:08] by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com

[00:06:13] A great read from Julie about the value in having fun in our lives,

[00:06:17] not only for the sake of our psyche, which is obvious,

[00:06:19] but also for the sake of our kids.

[00:06:22] Not only do they want to see us happy, as she mentioned, but they need to.

[00:06:26] Consider the constant lessons our children are learning from us from the get-go.

[00:06:30] Exemplifying work-life balance and showcasing not only the ability,

[00:06:34] but the after-effects of finding joy,

[00:06:36] well, that sets them to live a life the same way.

[00:06:38] Which, of course, is what we want for them, I would only assume.

[00:06:43] We are done for the week, though, folks.

[00:06:44] Thank you so much for joining me this Friday.

[00:06:47] Let me know if you've scheduled some time this weekend

[00:06:49] for one of your hobbies or a passion project.

[00:06:51] I'll see you back here on Monday, where your optimal life awaits.