2878: Confident About What? by Greg Audino on How to Build Confidence

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[00:00:30] This is Optimal Health Daily, Confident About What? By Greg Audino of gregaudino.com. And I'm Dr. Neal. Hey there and welcome to another bonus Sunday episode, where I share an article from one of the other podcasts in our network that I think will add some value for you here. Today's post comes from Optimal Relationships Daily, where articles covering all types of relationships are read to you every day. But this was a particularly special one.

[00:00:57] The host of the show, Greg, shared his own article. So with that, let's hear this one from Optimal Relationships Daily as we optimize your life. Confident About What? By Greg Audino of gregaudino.com. Confidence. Where does confidence ultimately come from, and what does it mean to you?

[00:01:23] Most would probably say that confidence manifests from having faith in one's abilities, feeling as though you'll be able to get the job done, whatever that may be. Confidence is a wonderful thing, and ultimately, we're always striving for it. So in many ways, it's synonymous with happiness, right? Each decision we make, no matter how muddled or how sacrificial, is ultimately an effort to feel more comfortable and be happier.

[00:01:47] Why, then, can looking for confidence be such a pain in the ass and so difficult to attain? Well, let me ask you this. Are you paying as much attention, or better yet, as much respect, to being unconfident as you are to being confident? Are you taking a breather to admit and accept your current lack of confidence and assessing where it stems from?

[00:02:10] Oftentimes, the main block in acquiring self-confidence is the refusal to be confident in our current state of unconfidence, if that's even a word, probably not. It is when confidence becomes conditional that progress is blocked. Doesn't saying, I refuse to feel weak, I will only be strong, display a complete lack of ownership of a massive portion of your life, and therefore a huge lack of confidence in itself?

[00:02:37] Strength and confidence develop from adversity. It's not a matter of snapping your fingers. The struggle to achieve confidence only exists because you've created a false image of what confidence is. The bumps in the road are not going anywhere. There's no recipe to eliminate that which is out of our control. The only part of the equation that can change is your reaction and your perception of adversity. So I'll ask you again. When was the last time you said to yourself,

[00:03:06] Right now, things aren't going my way. Right now, I don't feel happy or confident. And that's okay. Have you ever been so patient with yourself? Or have you fallen into modern culture's trap that everything needs to be a struggle and that you need to be hard on yourself to get to where you want to be? How's that working out for you? Would it not be valuable to stop and observe your feelings of discomfort in a non-judgmental way?

[00:03:31] Would it not be refreshing to wipe your slate clean of judgment and proceed accordingly? Oftentimes, this is what's missing. This is what separates the secretly troubled people who are shoving motivational quotes down people's throats on Instagram from those who are truly living with confidence, the ability to catch themselves in a moment in which they lack confidence, truly accept the discomfort and where they are in their journey, and then move on to flourish.

[00:03:58] You don't need the bells and whistles that you've been tricked into thinking that everyone else has. You have everything you need inside of you. And teaching yourself to have belief in that is how you'll develop true confidence. Because you'll come to find that everything happening outside of you is only as powerful as you allow it to be. So that being said, what situation would you really not be able to handle? Listen guys, the gap between hearing this stuff and living it is action. So if you're up for it, I want to give you a challenge.

[00:04:28] Now, it is no secret that we can talk about these concepts and understand them when we're in a relaxed and contemplative state. But to catch yourself in the moment is a different beast. And having the right reaction in those times of turmoil is where real progress will occur. So take a second now to consider those times in your life when you feel unconfident. Consider when you're riled up and your ego is threatened. Maybe it's your weekly game of basketball, when you're taking yourself too seriously

[00:04:58] and some new kid on the block comes and crosses you up. Maybe it's when the pimply guy in the cubicle next to you steals your good idea and presents it to the boss. The next time you're in that situation and you feel your tension starting to build, don't mask it with aggression or overcompensation. Feel it. Lean into that lack of confidence and get to know it, rather than trying to avoid it as we are accustomed to doing.

[00:05:23] At first, you might only be able to keep your cool for a few seconds before you go back to blowing your top. That's fine. Baby steps. Remember, you're undoing a lifetime of work. Once you feel that pain, that lack of confidence, try your best to dismiss it and remind yourself that this situation really doesn't have anything to do with your value as a person, so ultimately it's irrelevant. Getting used to this process, used to the fact that these mishaps only affect you as much as you allow them to,

[00:05:52] will in time grant you the ability to move through your life with confidence. You'll soon find that these situations to handle aren't really situations at all because none of them are bigger than you. That's confidence. You just listened to the post titled, Confident About What? by Greg Audino of gregaudino.com. When was the last time you checked if your insurance still fits your needs?

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[00:07:20] You know guys, I wrote that post almost two years ago, and I am proud to say that even since then, that short period of time, I'm seeing a lot more people take ownership of their vulnerability as the post encourages. There's still a lot of work to do, obviously, and for those who are comfortable being vulnerable, for those who have taken that post lessons and run with them, let's just vow to not be so insistent on it that we bully or shame those who have a hard time doing the same.

[00:07:49] As I said, some people are undoing a lifetime of thinking, and it's hard for many to cross that threshold. Be patient with them and set an example, as opposed to coming down on them for not being better with their weaknesses. Alright? And with that, we have reached the end of today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you'll have a nice cry now and celebrate while doing so. I will see you all tomorrow with a post on finding yourself again, where your optimal life awaits. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.