2960: Self-Accountability by Steve Pavlina on Self Discipline and Personal Growth

[00:00:00] Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:24] So, press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Health Daily, Self-Accountability by Steve Pavlina of stevepavlina.com and I'm Dr. Neal Malik. Hey there, welcome to another edition of Optimal Health Daily.

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[00:01:17] Self-Accountability by Steve Pavlina of stevepavlina.com Using an accountability buddy to help you consistently stick with a habit or work on a goal is fine as a temporary measure to get yourself into the flow of action. But it's also a crutch. Ultimately, you want to be accountable to yourself first and foremost. Not to a buddy, team, company, organization, app, or any other external entity.

[00:01:46] That may sound counterintuitive, especially if you're accustomed to external accountability. External factors can increase your sense of accountability because you don't want to let other people down. You want to do your part to pitch in. That's understandable. But externals don't last. At some point, you'll move on from the school, team, company, boss, your parents, or situation that provides your accountability. Then what?

[00:02:14] Find another external group to hold you accountable? Accountable to what? Their goals or yours? Being accountable to others often adds extra busy work too. You may need to do extra paperwork or reports to prove your efforts to someone else. Bosses do performance evaluations. Teachers dole out assignments and tests. Concerned parents check up on you. When you're accountable to yourself, you can track your own data when you find that beneficial.

[00:02:42] But you don't need to bother with extra reporting to convince others of your standards. In the long run, I think you'll find the payoff better if you invest most deeply in self-accountability. You always have yourself. So, your inner accountability buddy is with you 24-7 for life. I like holding myself accountable to my future self. I know that I'll be my future self someday. So, my loyalty is to him.

[00:03:09] I want to build him up with good habits that enhance his life. I want to complete projects he can look back upon and feel proud of. I feel grateful that my past self put me in a strong position because of his many efforts. And I know my future self will feel the same about my efforts today. Can you still hold yourself accountable for doing your personal shoulds when no one is looking? When no one would know or care, can you still push yourself?

[00:03:36] Can you go the extra mile when you're the only one to hold yourself accountable? It's fine to add the benefits of external accountability on top of personal accountability. Working with a strong team can be super motivating. But be wary of substituting external accountability for internal accountability. Don't lean so much on the externals that you let your inner fire atrophy. If the team goes away, if you lose your job, if the external accountability drops off,

[00:04:05] do you still maintain strong discipline? Or does the structure of your life fall apart when it's just you alone and no one is watching? I struggled with this for a long time in the past, leaning too much on externals for accountability. When strict structures went away, my life crumbled from lack of discipline. I was accountable to no one, not even myself. I got in enough trouble that courts intervened to hold me accountable, sentencing me to dozens of hours of community service.

[00:04:34] I ultimately concluded that was no way to live and began the struggle of trying to hold myself to a higher personal standard. That was not an easy path by any means. But I do feel it's been stronger than relying on externals to push me. It feels better to push myself because then it's a choice and I can be sure to push myself in purposeful ways that make sense to me. My orders to myself are meaningful, carefully chosen, and aligned with my values.

[00:05:03] I don't have to deal with ill-considered commands from elsewhere. Personal accountability also enabled me to stretch into areas where no one else was directing me to go. I didn't go vegetarian and then vegan because of external pressures. I chose it and committed. I didn't do so many personal growth experiments because of external accountability, even when I blogged about them. I can still do private 30-day challenges and feel just as accountable, even when there's no public eye watching me.

[00:05:33] No accountability buddy got me out of bed at 4.30 this morning. No one pushed me to run for an hour then do yoga. No one is telling me to get my work done today. No one will achieve my goals for me. Again, it's okay to lean on external accountability to get yourself into motion sometimes, but don't let your personal accountability languish from lack of investment. Personal accountability is more reliable and consistent than external accountability,

[00:06:02] but it takes more practice to build. Even when you're doing something service-oriented, the internal accountability can come from the effect it has on your character. Fall in love with the inner rewards of being a kind, generous, and compassionate character. Do you want to embody such a character? If so, then hold yourself accountable to behaving in alignment with that character. Look into a mirror and see what the person in the glass has to say.

[00:06:29] Do you want to spend your whole life being driven by carrots and sticks from other people? Or do you want to empower yourself to build a strong, self-accountable character who can do your should-dos without whining, complaining, or external rewards and punishments? You just listened to the post titled, Self-Accountability by Steve Pavlina of stevepavlina.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:07:53] and start selling today at shopify.com slash OHD. Go to shopify.com slash OHD. Shopify.com slash OHD. Dr. Neil here for my commentary. Around the midpoint of the academic semester, I have my students complete an activity. They have to take some time and write down their whys. Meaning, they have to write down the reasons

[00:08:22] they're putting themselves through school. Why are they spending the time and money and putting themselves through all the stress of assignments and exams? For what purpose? What is this all for? And the midpoint of the semester is always a great time for this why exercise. It's when stress tends to be at its highest and motivation at its lowest. So this why exercise reminds them of the bigger picture. Or, as today's author Steve Pavlina said,

[00:08:50] the internal empowering reasons for why they're in school. That it's not just about getting good grades and getting a diploma, but that it serves a bigger purpose in their life's path. And I remind them that writing down their whys can be used to motivate them to do almost anything. Like eat nutritious foods, plan meals, exercise, save more money. You get the idea. And again, as Steve Pavlina said, empowering ourselves to be strong and self-accountable

[00:09:18] is more reliable and consistent than allowing ourselves to be driven by external rewards and punishments. All right, that'll do it for another edition of Optimal Health Daily. Thank you so much for being here. I hope you have a great rest of your day. And I'll be back here tomorrow with another post and where your optimal life awaits.