2999: Changing Your Body Image Once and for All by Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive on Self Judgement and Acceptance

[00:00:01] Wenn jemand Charles und Melanie gesagt hätte, dass sie nach ihrem Tinder Match gemeinsam einen Channel mit Crazy Aufgaben starten, also wirklich crazy, fünf Tage auf einer einsamen Insel verbringen, eine Zipline an einem Gurt runterrasen, eine Million Views knacken, eine Wand mit Saugnöpfen hochklettern und Fallschirm springen in Ägypten? Das hätten die beiden niemals geglaubt. Aber das ist das Ding mit Tinder. Es führt dich an Orte, die du nie erwartet hättest. Wohin es dich auch führt. It starts with a swipe. Tinder.

[00:00:29] Kennt ihr auch diesen einen Freund, der morgens einfach so ruckzuck aus dem Bett und danach aus dem Grinsen gar nicht mehr rauskommt? Der sogar noch vor dem ersten Kaffee unverschämt gut gelaunt ist und mit der Morgensonne um die Wette strahlt? Furchtbar. Ekelhaft. Wie kann man nur so... Ausgeruht sein? Ganz einfach. Trainiere deinen Schlaf und werde auch du zum Morgenmenschen. Mit der Galaxy Watch 7 oder dem Galaxy Ring und der Samsung Health App.

[00:00:55] This is Optimal Health Daily. Changing your body image once and for all. By Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive.org. And I'm Dr. Neil Malik, your host. Welcome back to Optimal Health Daily or welcome for the first time if you're new here. This is the podcast where I act as your very own personal narrator and read to you from some of the most popular health and fitness blogs online. But with that, let's keep this intro nice and short and get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:29] Changing your body image once and for all. By Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive.org. I recently took some younger family members shopping. As they tried on clothes, my niece commented, Nothing looks good on me. Sabrina looks good in everything. It surprised me to observe such a young girl expressing such a poor body image and comparing herself unfavorably to her cousin.

[00:01:53] And yet, the very next morning, I myself was a witness to a similar discussion between two friends of mine. One, a woman who is enviably slim and fit, casually complained about feeling fat. And the other, a man with a near-perfect physique joined in, saying that since he hit 30, his body was getting soft and round. All of this left me marveling at the prevalence of negative body image.

[00:02:18] Regardless of actual body type, whether thin or heavy, or attire, whether in a bikini or a winter coat, many of us are suffering from a barrage of self-critical thoughts. People's views of their bodies are not only cruel, but inaccurate. A friend of mine recently told me how down on herself she feels about getting older and confessed how she continually compares herself negatively to younger, prettier girls.

[00:02:44] She showed me an old picture of herself, of the skinny and youthful woman she once was. When I asked her how she felt about herself at that time, she remembered that the very day the picture was taken, she'd felt fat, ugly, and full of the same self-hate she felt today. It was obvious that her perception of herself as a young woman was as flawed as her current self-image. What she really needed to address wasn't the wrinkles under her eyes or the grays in her hair,

[00:03:13] but the deep-seated feeling of shame that's long kept her from accepting herself as the attractive woman she truly is. So, what is the underlying cause for the damaging thoughts that we harbor about our bodies? What is the reason for the discrepancy between the critical way we see ourselves and the realistic view that others have of us? Our basic self-perception is shaped both by positive and negative programming from our past.

[00:03:40] For example, when a parent or other significant adult persists in looking at a child's face critically, that child will begin to incorporate the thought or believe that there is something inherently wrong with him or her, particularly his or her physical self. Early experiences that we never imagined would have impacted our way of seeing ourselves remain the sources for inaccurate self-criticism throughout our lives.

[00:04:05] People who face issues of low self-esteem can trace them to feelings of humiliation, rejection, or disappointment they suffered in childhood. When young children search for the reasons and explanations for these feelings, they often look within themselves, rather than finding fault with an adult they are dependent on. One of the easiest places for them to lay the blame is on their physical appearance. Throughout our lives, many experiences can feed into the deep,

[00:04:31] old sense of shame that stems from as early as our first few years of life. We continue to assign this ongoing feeling of shame to parts of our bodies we see in a negative light. Everything from humiliations in front of a classroom, to hurtful breakups, to career failures, or even minor mistakes can be attributed to not looking right and add to our inner well of self-hatred. Too often, we go from feeling negatively about our appearance to actually avoiding certain activities and events

[00:05:00] because we're ashamed to be seen. Thoughts that we are too short, too tall, or out of shape can keep us from going out with friends or taking our shirt off at the beach. Our negative body image can also keep us from more meaningful courses of action. For example, we may assume someone we're interested in is not attracted to us, or we may avoid intimacy altogether because we're insecure about how we look. When we lose confidence in ourselves, we may resign ourselves to familiar activities and situations

[00:05:30] instead of pursuing what we really want to do. For instance, staying at home and avoiding a party because we feel like we are not as attractive as other people who are going. Each of us harbors our own unique prescription for self-loathing. Therefore, we're often sheltered in our own bubble of shame, coached by an inner critic that tells us we are different, flawed, and lesser than those around us. We even project these self-attacks onto others

[00:05:57] and think they are critical toward us or not attracted to us. We may notice that our self-attacks get a lot louder in situations when we become self-conscious of our bodies, like getting out of the shower or going out at night. This critical inner voice gives us instructions to hide our bodies. It's that internal coach telling us to leave on our tank tops at the beach. It's the one whispering to us that, since we're flawed, we should drive ourselves beyond reason

[00:06:24] to achieve perfection or just give up on ourselves. Even though it may instruct us to exercise or diet, the same voice lures us to take it easy or have that second cupcake. It then punishes us by calling us weak or failures in a vicious cycle that perpetuates the voice process. Our bodies are often the biggest target of our critical inner voice. No matter where we stand in life, it informs us of our many imperfections

[00:06:52] and keeps us from fully enjoying ourselves or relaxing in our own skin. We can choose to starve or feed, hide, or reveal ourselves all based on the faulty advice of this inner critic. Challenging this voice is key to accepting our bodies. When we do decide to challenge our inner critic, we could expect to face some serious anxiety. Acting against these thoughts is not just about confronting a few surface criticisms.

[00:07:21] Rather, it involves awakening a great beast long fed on the belief that we are inadequate in some way. This beast may be cruel, but it has also grown familiar to us. Acting against its will by taking our goals seriously and feeling confident in our bodies will rouse this inner critic, which, for a time, will get louder. However, like the wicked witch melting in The Wizard of Oz, the voice will eventually fade into the background.

[00:07:49] So, when it tells us to keep our sweater on or to hide in the back of the room, it is important to throw caution and clothing to the wind and to remember that this act isn't just about shedding layers of fabric. It's about stripping yourself of years of self-hatred, shame, and misplaced criticism that just doesn't belong in the here and now. You just listened to the post titled Changing Your Body Image Once and For All

[00:08:18] by Dr. Lisa Firestone of psychalive.org and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business. Shopify is the commerce platform

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[00:09:15] Go to Shopify.com slash OHD. Shopify.com slash OHD. Prime Video brings exciting conversations. Experience the star-coach Andreas Caminada and his friends in Dinner Club, in the prime. We're going to do a culinary trip. Experience the new crime-series Mobland with Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren. Now only on Paramount+. Problem solved.

[00:09:45] No matter where you're standing, everything is here. Prime Video. Click or click on the banner so you can learn more. Dr. Neil here for my commentary. There's a reason it's said that each of us, we are often our own worst critics. Through various studies, it's been found that most of us spend the majority of our days engaging in negative self-talk.

[00:10:11] That basically means we spend most of our waking hours with thoughts that are all about being critical of ourselves. And look, I'm guilty of this too. On some level, yes, this self-criticism can help us to strive to be better. But there is a point where this negative self-talk holds us back from our true potential. And it takes time to rewire the brain to engage less in this kind of self-talk. I'll be honest, I haven't quite mastered it yet.

[00:10:39] But, I happened to read an article by psychologist Ellen Hendrickson. And she talked about how self-confidence is often linked to our self-criticisms. And I really loved something she said. Quote, We gain confidence through action. We have to do things before we feel 100% ready. And then our confidence catches up. End quote. So maybe, as today's author, Dr. Lisa Firestone said,

[00:11:08] We shed the years of self-hatred, shame, and misplaced criticism by taking action. This action will then lead to new thoughts and feelings about ourselves, and hopefully, more confident thoughts. And of course, let's be real. Sometimes we can become so paralyzed with fear, anxiety, or even perfectionism that we can't take action. It just freezes us. In these situations, it can be really helpful to talk to a licensed health professional who can help with this process.

[00:11:37] So don't forget, there are resources out there that can help. Alright, that's another edition of Optimal Health Daily. I hope you're having a great weekend. Thank you so much for listening. And of course, I'll be back here with you again tomorrow. So I'll see you there where your optimal life awaits.